How do you guys compliment a girl now in today's environment? You know, with all the #Me Too and sexual harassment stuff going on. The reason I'm asking, is a couple of my female friends at school and I were discussing it. Men are so afraid now to almost even speak to a woman at work or school for fear of a sexual harassment charge. I can't say I blame you guys. I've seen some men get in trouble for it at college. Myself, I personally know there is a line between flirty, fun and being ugly and harassing, it just seems so blurred now. I some ways, I feel bad for you men because you seem afraid to even flirt now. What are your thoughts, I'm curious? Also know, there are some of us girls that still like flirting if it's done properly. ;)
I agree with your assessment it is more difficult so the easiest thing is to not engage or make any comment to women. I still appreciate women but now I definitely give a wide birth.
I guess you have to carefully judge the situation, in a social setting, I'd happily say...... Wow! you look awesome, I love your style
in a more formal setting, hi.... you are looking very pretty today
Weinstein and others have stirred up a regular dust storm and until it settles a bit I think it's going to be a challenge to safely pay compliments, regardless of the gender of the giver and receiver of the compliment.
And I think the whole situation is an absolute tragedy as it's inhibiting people from getting to know one another, therefore developing new friends and relationships is becoming harder.
I don't know what the answer is, yet, but I miss the days when the office I worked in had a colleague who had a sign above her desk with the legend "Hug Station". When anyone, regardless of gender, felt in need of a hug, whether to celebrate or as a consolation, that's where you went.
There are a lot of ways you can flirt with a woman without being crude or pushy. As a man I've always known when a woman is responding well to my advances and I also know when she is not interested. I think most men will know this instinctively. If she is not interested I leave her alone and move on. I think men get into trouble when they pursue a woman who is not interested.
Stories I have published.
I lose my virginity when my brothers girlfriend gives me a girlfriend experience. The Girlfriend Experience
I lose my virginity to my best friends girlfriend behind his back. Lost Keys
I can’t resist temptation when my stepdaughter asks me to teach her about sex. Letters From Mom In the right situation, like a black-tie party or something, when I can see a woman has obviously spent time on her appearance, I'd feel comfortable making a polite compliment.
In the office - never. Unless someone ,might have cut their hair differently or something but then that's just to point out I've noticed.
If I sense a woman is interested or open to flirting, then I would probably push the boat out more and make a comment about something I find hot in her appearance.
Normally I keep "compliments" to myself. The odd "holy fucking shit" under my breath when someone intensely hot walks past.
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I am afraid I am now of the opinion that unless the woman starts the flirting, then there will be none. Better to be frustrated than sorry
I flirt with the girls that I know well enough to know that it will be received positively, just like always before. I naturally speak more to women than men anyway, I actually have more challenges communicating with men because with some of them the topics of conversation are somewhat limited and not as interesting to me.
I don't think the problem is with complimenting a woman, but the aggression in how men approach women as sexual objects rather than as real people, and an insensitivity to women's responses (verbal and non-verbal cues that signal disinterest). I think for a lot of men, they're wrapped up in these fantasies that women are 'playing hard to get,' and if they just pursue them hard enough eventually they'll win their love (or at least sex). Those guys usually turn out to be the jerks who are accused of sexual harassment when they take it way too far. And as far as I'm concerned, any woman who wants to play games of 'catch-me-if-you-can' can go play with herself. I'm not into that.
Post-avant-retro-demelodicized-electro-yodel-core is my jam.
I'll admit I haven't done much active flirting since the #metoo thing, but I can't imagine a simple, nonthreatening compliment would be looked upon poorly, even in today's workplace. "You have a nice smile." "I enjoy talking to you." "Did you get your hair done, it looks very nice."
I would imagine the more important takeaway from #metoo is that if you don't get a positive reaction, let it go and leave her alone. Don't make anyone feel uncomfortable or threatened.
Of course, I work from home, so I may be out of touch with today's workplace. But I doubt simple standards of politeness and decency have changed much.
When I want to compilement a gal on something physical, be it the way she looks or maybe how she is dressed, but I don’t want to risk it being recieved the wrong way, I try to stick to words and phrases that I’d use for a guy.
“Hey, I’m really not a boot person but I’m a big fan of those boots.”
“Did you get a haircut? It looks styled. It’s got a professional look to it.”
“Where did you get that jacket? That’s a cool jacket.”
Once I have enough of a report with a chick where I can say things like, “You look hot in that dress,” without it coming off the wrong way, I will. Until then I keep it casual.
Now when it comes to intellectual compliments I’m unfiltered. If she says something smart, clever, or funny I won’t hold back on letting her know.
I can’t think of a good tagline so this will have to do. Suggest a better one for me?
Look fellows... Lead in hard and with dubious intent. If she slaps you (physically or figuratively) but especially physically... It only means she wishes you were a bit more romantic with it because she likes you. If she didn't like you at all... She wouldn't have bothered to slap you in the first place. If she smiles (which is mostly involuntary when a person you like flirts with you)... get ready to get some stank on your hang low.
This whole #metoo thing is important and all that shit but it shouldn't hamper you and your peacocking and throwing your dick out in the water. A slap is just a nibble that can turn into dinner or a catch and release even. Keep your pole and reel well oiled. Make her go, "yeah I fucked #himtoo... and you know what, I really liked it."
I spent many years as the backward geek. I never knew what to say to women. I spent a long time learning what I could get away with. Then they went and changed all the rules.
Now you can't even look at a young girl to admire her beauty. All the young ones call you a pervert or worse. If you try to say hello or even smile you get accused of harassing them.
I own several companies and won't hire women unless I have to. I lost a great job years ago for being nice and giving someone a ride home. She went in and said I harassed her to go with me. Funny how several people heard her ask for the ride. I still lost the job. I don't talk to them except to answer basic questions.
I feel bad for the generation coming up now. So many things are messed up for them. Even on a site like this you have to watch everything you say. People are way too sensitive and blow things out of proportion. Maybe someday we will get back to people being polite and friendly without being accused of weirdness.
I learned a long time ago that it isn't what you tell a person but how you tell them, that offends them. There are still ways a man can compliment a lady with out her feeling harassed or offended.
The best compliment is a smile and hello while looking her in the eyes... looking her up and down is rude... it's about being genuine and keeping your lustful thoughts in check... Till she wants to hear them
characterized by intense feeling; passionate; fervent
Intensely devoted, eager, or enthusiastic; zealous
vehement; fierce burning, fiery, or hot
Surely there are heaps of things you can say without any fear of sexual harrassment; its the touching you have to be very careful of.
You look radiant today or a more specific compliment on the attire... the hair... the shoes... whatever.
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