your wife lover has asked her to be the mother of his son/daughter?
Does it make any difference if he is African so everyone could understand baby is not mine?
Please be sincere not diplomatic
That's pretty much up to you and your wife. The best relationships are those forged free of jealousy and possessiveness, as well as being immune from the judgement of others. David and I have discussed this since there's a small possibility my birth control could fail at some point, and I became pregnant by one of my FWBs (a few have been black). It's the last thing I want to happen, of course, but it's a risk I take on a regular basis. We've made everything else work in this lifestyle, so we could deal with the scenario you propose and stay together. But then, we are both very liberal and open-minded.
you know, it seems about once a year i am approached online by a white cuckold who shares this same delusional fantasy. each time i read it i shake my head in sheer horror that this is actually a 'thing'. it's one thing to bring a child into a marriage who is the product of these circumstances when it is more easily hidden - and another ordeal entirely when it is blatantly obvious.
if you've never had a discussion with a biracial person about their life - particularly black and white - i highly suggest you do so. you have no idea of the immense struggles they could possibly face. add to that that everyone will most likely figure out the reasons behind their birth and you add a truly unnecessary obstacle.
in my opinion people who entertain this fantasy are naive and narcissistic.
Think of how the kids is going to feel when it's apparent that Dad is not the dad. Seriously, that's some bullshit to put the kid through, along with everything else. It is about the kid because they're the one who will absorb the full weight of such a thing.
What i was simply wondering is why an African man who has a liason with a married white girl should ask her to have his baby....i mean playing the racial card on her by asking her to prove him her loyalty to him by getting the mother of his baby?!
I am asking it because i read that in many African Communities for an African man to get a white girl mother of his child or children is a great achievement....and by far more if she married....i read that it involves ancestral colonialism matters!
What do you honestly think?
Seems there are at least two questions not one.
Do you find it morally acceptable for your wife to be the incubator of another mans child? That is assuming he plans to raise the child and not you and your wife. Do you have other children that you will need to explain the events to? Could you love and raise this child if that is the plan.
Secondly, is race a factor in how you look at this new being. A number of people have expressed the concern about a mixed race individual. Those that see great barriers, must live in a different place than I do. Mixed race kids are certainly not the majority here but they are not that great of a exception either.
I have an IUD and it is considered an effective Birth Control Method. However, we all know there is no method is 100% effective. While most men I have sex with are of European Heritage, there also have been men of every race known. Could I love and raise a Mixed Race Child.
Of course I could.
Abortion is out of the question for me. There is no basis I could Murder a Baby just because of convenience or the difficulty of the life they may have.
I know many of you will not be agreement with me. Plus yes I know the risks and made the decision long ago that this is one of the risks I must and will take.
You and you wife have some serious decisions to discuss.
Can you share with us the reason you and your wife are no longer sexually active together?
As some have already mentioned, the first thing I thought about was the issues the child will be forced to deal with as a mixed race child. I have a very dear, vanilla, friend who has dated a black guy for over 20 years. One of her daughters married a black guy, and they have 4 beautiful children, two sons and two daughters. I know about some of the problems the children have dealt with, especially since they started school. They are teased often and neither the white or black kids accept them.
Hubbie and I believe, regardless of what our beliefs are, people have a right to make their own life choices. And in doing so, unless those choices are illegal, like robbing a bank, others should accept their decisions and not stick their noses in their business. But we all know that is not the way it works!!!!! And probably won't happen until the lamb can lay down next to a lioness with out fear of becoming her dinner.
Brandie
