Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login

Bring Back the Fanny Pack.

last reply
15 replies
2.3k views
0 watchers
1 like
Guest
Lurker
0 likes


A few years ago, my friends and I went out to a campus bar. The theme was 80's. I usually hate theme nights, but I went along. We went to a thrift store to pick up some clothing that was temporally and periodically relevant.

I snagged a sweet pink and black tank top and a fluorescent green fanny pack.



I bought it as a joke when what I found at the bar, was that it was a very very useful accessory.

Wallet, keys, cell phone, gum, condoms.... It was great. It was a revelation.

As a guy, do you have any idea how hard it is to fit all that stuff into your pants? It's horrible.

Let's bring back the fanny pack. For sure though, lets change that name. How about utility belt?

And for all you hot women... No. Just...No.



You can't just wear the shittiest looking stuff and dare people to not think that you're hot. "Look at me...I'm wearing a fanny pack, mom jeans, and Elton John Glasses... But you still want to fuck me right?"

This is for men. We can't have purses, so just let us have this.
Buz
The Linebacker
0 likes
Quote by DamonX

Wallet, keys, cell phone, gum, condoms.... It was great. It was a revelation.
As a guy, do you have any idea how hard it is to fit all that stuff into your pants?


I could use something to carry my wallet, keys, cell phone, gun, and condoms also. smile

Seriously, we don't have a good set up for that. As guys, we sit on our wallet. Chiropractors warn us that's a bad practice. They'll charge $150 and up to remove your wallet and adjust your back for that. But sitting on one's wallet can be uncomfortable and make you walk like a sidewinder crab.

I guess, that's why I always loved cargo pants. I love those extra pockets. I wanted some designer to make a business or dress suit with cargo style pockets on the trousers. I'd like to have a tuxedo with cargo trousers.

Besides wallet, cell phone, keys, gum or gun, and condoms, we also need a place for our flask, brassknuckles, Swiss Army knife, nunchukas, Marine K-Bar survival knife, and deck of nudie playing cards, that we men nearly always carry.

You mentioned the purse. Men used to carry a purse. It was common for a man to carry a purse until around the early 1800s. In fact in the 1600s and 1700s, society men actually wore wigs, facial makeup, skintight leggings, and carried a purse. Some also wore a rapier (those skinny blade fancy swords that would get you killed if the other guy had a serious blade). Pirates had cutlasses. I like pirates.

A fanny pack, but like you said, we couldn't call it that, could really help. I'm sure something could be designed. It could be tested at the annual motorcycle rally in Sturgis, South Dakota. If the test wearers can wear the new prototype design and survive unscathed a few days there, then we might be onto something.

It's possible the 'man'pack could be worn slung stylishly low, like a western gunslinger. It'd have to be real leather. Faux leather just wouldn't get respect for a 'man'pack.

Another item we could bring back for men to wear, is the codpiece. Those were popular in the middle ages and early Rennaissance (damn that word is difficult for a dyslexic). But the codpiece is a great way to protect one's family jewells. Basically, a cod piece is a baseball catcher's cup worn on the outside of one's trousers. That'd be very useful protection.
Unknown User
0 likes
I have a black leather money belt that I use when travelling in areas where pick pockets are a risk (put it under my clothes with the pouch at the front) but it's small. Just enough for a wallet and some change. Something larger might be a nice idea.
Buz
The Linebacker
0 likes
Quote by seeker4
I have a black leather money belt that I use when travelling in areas where pick pockets are a risk (put it under my clothes with the pouch at the front) but it's small. Just enough for a wallet and some change. Something larger might be a nice idea.


Many dudes just stuff a tube sock down the front of their pants to make it look like they are sporting a big pecker but obviously Canadians stuff money pouches down the front of their pants for that.

Guest
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by Buz


I could use something to carry my wallet, keys, cell phone, gun, and condoms also. smile

Chiropractors warn us that's a bad practice. They'll charge $150 and up to remove your wallet and adjust your back for that.



That's your problem right there. You might as well just flush your money down the toilet.

Regardless of whether your wallet is causing you harm, a person with an undergrad degree in bullshit probably isn't the answer. Especially if you actually pay 150 bucks for that silliness.




Maybe this would be be more appropriate...?


silveranode
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Just a quick memo, to fellow 'Lushies'.

Please be wary of certain terminology.

In the Land Down Under the terminology is reversed.

In Australia The Fanny is the 'Front', where as in the USA The Fanny is at the 'Back'.
So we call it a Bum-Bag.

Other terminology to be aware of.

In the USA a Tailgater is someone that enjoys a BBQ, where as Down Under a 'Tailgater' is someone that 'Steps Lightly in His Loafers'.
(Don't forget the )

In the USA a Screw is To Get Your Rocks Off, where as Down Under its' what you can financially earn in life.

Unknown User
0 likes
Quote by Buz


Many dudes just stuff a tube sock down the front of their pants to make it look like they are sporting a big pecker but obviously Canadians stuff money pouches down the front of their pants for that.



We Canucks have no need to fake anything. I wear it under my jacket or shirt.
Buz
The Linebacker
0 likes
Quote by seeker4


We Canucks have no need to fake anything. I wear it under my jacket or shirt.


I wrap mine around my leg. Oh, wait, are we talking pecker or fanny pack?
Buz
The Linebacker
0 likes
Quote by DamonX


That's your problem right there. You might as well just flush your money down the toilet.

Regardless of whether your wallet is causing you harm, a person with an undergrad degree in bullshit probably isn't the answer. Especially if you actually pay 150 bucks for that silliness.




Maybe this would be be more appropriate...?




I'm with you on chiropractors. I know some socially but I am not gullible enough to be a patient of theirs. Chiropractors actually think they can cure cancer and other diseases by manipulating one's back. And that's total bullshit!

A well-designed shoulder bag for a man might work. It would have to look the part and not be mistaken for a lady's purse.

Most married men or guys in serious relationships with a woman get stuck at one point holding their lady's purse for her while she dashes in to quickly try on some clothes in the changing room of a department store. We have developed an awkward way to hold the purse that proves we are 100% straight male, stuck in this precarious situation, holding our wife or girlfriend's purse. Prudence demands that we look highly uncomfortable.

Two hours later, when the wife reappears from 'quickly' trying on some clothes, she'll say, "That wasn't too bad was it?"

Ugh!

I can't understand why there is not a small lobby in all department stores with a TV tuned in to either ESPN, the History Channel, or the Science Channel for husbands or boyfriends.
laura
Mana wahine
1 like
We call them bum bags, in NZ. I have found the term 'fanny pack' to be an American term.

Also, I'm hot as hell, like a 10/10 on the hottie scale, so like I'mma wear one just to spite you. I will also incorporate the 'fanny pack' into my next fucking session. Kinky.
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by Lauradj
We call them bum bags, in NZ. I have found the term 'fanny pack' to be an American term.

Also, I'm hot as hell, like a 10/10 on the hottie scale, so like I'mma wear one just to spite you. I will also incorporate the 'fanny pack' into my next fucking session. Kinky.


* Edited by admin: hardcore images not allowed in general forums. *

Now that's a "fanny pack."
laura
Mana wahine
0 likes
Quote by DamonX


* Edited by admin: hardcore images not allowed in general forums. *


Now that's a "fanny pack."


So like...................you wanna? You down to clown?
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by DamonX


* Edited by admin: hardcore images not allowed in general forums. *

Now that's a "fanny pack."


Oops. Sorry. I actually didn't know that rule.

I meant to post this one.


Edited by an administrator. Hardcore images are not allowed in The General Forum.

SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
0 likes
Here in Montreal, wearing one of these in a few specific spots is sure to get you identified as a pusher.

In all seriousness, I hardly find carrying stuff ever problematic. I guess I've always been a true 'pockets guy' that way: wallet in my left pocket, keys/cellphone in the right one, two condoms (if needed) wherever they might fit. I'm actually pretty damn picky about pockets whenever I'm buying pants: some pockets are made of a shitty/light material and you'll constantly feel your various items against your thighs, while others are way too deep and will make you look like complete idiot when they're filled.

The only thing that can occasionally be a moderate pain in the ass for me are sunglasses, but even then wearing a pair of glasses on my head isn't all that much more bothersome than wearing a bag around my waist would be.
mysensualthought
Rookie Scribe
0 likes
Quote by DamonX


A few years ago, my friends and I went out to a campus bar. The theme was 80's. I usually hate theme nights, but I went along. We went to a thrift store to pick up some clothing that was temporally and periodically relevant.

I snagged a sweet pink and black tank top and a fluorescent green fanny pack.



I bought it as a joke when what I found at the bar, was that it was a very very useful accessory.

Wallet, keys, cell phone, gum, condoms.... It was great. It was a revelation.

As a guy, do you have any idea how hard it is to fit all that stuff into your pants? It's horrible.

Let's bring back the fanny pack. For sure though, lets change that name. How about utility belt?

And for all you hot women... No. Just...No.



You can't just wear the shittiest looking stuff and dare people to not think that you're hot. "Look at me...I'm wearing a fanny pack, mom jeans, and Elton John Glasses... But you still want to fuck me right?"

This is for men. We can't have purses, so just let us have this.







Actually, this has been on my mind lately.
puppett
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
no