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I am not in either camp myself but I have a very dear friend who I have lost because of such an action
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Is it Normal for a Sub to dictate to her Mistress, who she can and cannot befriend or talk to in cha
Active Ink Slinger
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It would be so easy to say, "of course not, the sub obeys the Mistress," but it depends on the actual relationship, and the agreement between the two. During my own marriage, I was the sub to my husband's Master, but he always knew that I would only allow the game within the limits that I had, and which he knew. Any attempt to overstep those limits and the game would end, permanently. That was because we both treated it as a game, just fun.
As I said, it depends on the relationship and the agreements. In recent years I ended one relationship because my partner/lover tried dictating who I could and could not chat with on line. They moved out the following day, after I had packed their case for them.
As I said, it depends on the relationship and the agreements. In recent years I ended one relationship because my partner/lover tried dictating who I could and could not chat with on line. They moved out the following day, after I had packed their case for them.
Primus Omnium
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Quote by marie5555
It would be so easy to say, "of course not, the sub obeys the Mistress," but it depends on the actual relationship, and the agreement between the two. During my own marriage, I was the sub to my husband's Master, but he always knew that I would only allow the game within the limits that I had, and which he knew. Any attempt to overstep those limits and the game would end, permanently. That was because we both treated it as a game, just fun.
As I said, it depends on the relationship and the agreements. In recent years I ended one relationship because my partner/lover tried dictating who I could and could not chat with on line. They moved out the following day, after I had packed their case for them.
Perfect answer. I can't add t0 that. Every relati0nship in the lifestyle sh0uld have an agreement as its basis fr0m the very beginning. Breaking the agreement breaks the relati0nship.
Active Ink Slinger
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The growth of the relationship is a mutual responsibility and always open to discussion. A dom or domme never desires their sub to feel curtailed, rather liberation through the releasing of power which allows guiltless release of inhibitions & taboos. Like a dance lovely & effortless when performed well, clumsy and difficult when not.
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
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Quote by MindsEye
The growth of the relationship is a mutual responsibility and always open to discussion. A dom or domme never desires their sub to feel curtailed, rather liberation through the releasing of power which allows guiltless release of inhibitions & taboos. Like a dance lovely & effortless when performed well, clumsy and difficult when not.
Well put.
I only play at the edges of the scene, but for me personally I don't think a Dom or a sub should dictate anything non-sexual in the life of their partner. Certainly not who they talk to or be friends with.
To each their own; every relationship is different.
Active Ink Slinger
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Except for the first year of my marriage which was in the summer of 79, I have been a sub since I was 17. I believe Marie5555 phrased it pretty good. I believe a lot of people outside of the Sub / Master rolls don't understand who is really in control of the scene. It's the sub, with the use of their safe words and the prior agreements. In my openion, any scene where the sub does not have the right to a safe word and to prior agreements, would be a form of domestic violence.
My first Master was one of my high school teachers. I accepted his collar about two months after we started dating, which was on my 17th birthday. With me being new to this scene at the time we decided he would give me instruction, but I had the final say so as to what I would do or how far I would go. Which was his idea.
My first instructions started out with me keeping my cunt totally shaved, no panties or panty hose, only garter belts and stocking which he bought for me. (Girls at my high school were required to wear stockings or panty shoes and dresses or skirts and blouses.). I sat in the front row in front of his desk. With my legs spread open, my skirt or dress pulled up high giving him a clear view of my cunt.
Commands continued to get more kinky as we developed our Sub / Master relationship. The first time I was flogged pretty much set the initial limits as to how much I could take and for how long. I will tell you the flogging did give me very good and strong orgasms? As we played often the flogging did increase some over time. With both Teach and Hubbie I only remember having to use my safe word a couple times.
Things really escalated about a month after I accepted Teach's collar. He brought me to a three day weekend party thrown by his Harley riding group. Within a few hours of arriving I had several first. Which I very willingly chose to do, mainly due to the extremely intense turn ons. Much more intense than anything I had ever experenced before.
I danced and stripped to music in front of the whole group of seven guys and three other gals. That lead to my first blow job with an audience. That lead to me very willingly being restrained spread eagle in my first gang bang. Another first was my cunt being ate by another woman and later eating Teach's cum out of her cunt. Teach had fucked her while she was going down on me. She had gone down on my cunt going after her boyfriends cum after he had just fucked me. The two stories I have posted here are about this party.
I dated Teach for four years, until the second weekend before Hubbie and I got married. When we were married Hubbie thought him and I had given each other our virginities and neither of us had had other lovers. About a year after we were married he found out about my rather wild lifestyle. He almost left me, but he got extremely turned on about it. Thankfully the turn on outweighed his anger. About a month later I accepted his collar and we are still pretty heavy in the BDSM scene. At least once or twice a week to as many as all seven days of some weeks.
Through all these years I have had very little problems with Masters trying to take it beyond my limits. All of those have been with temporary Masters I have been lent to.
The two stories I have posted here are about the first few hours of My First Gang Bang. This is a real event that happened in Nov of 75. I can't believe that's been over 42 years ago. On that weekend my sex education tripled as well as the intensity, strength, and length of my orgasms. It's been one hell of an awesome ride.
Brandie
My first Master was one of my high school teachers. I accepted his collar about two months after we started dating, which was on my 17th birthday. With me being new to this scene at the time we decided he would give me instruction, but I had the final say so as to what I would do or how far I would go. Which was his idea.
My first instructions started out with me keeping my cunt totally shaved, no panties or panty hose, only garter belts and stocking which he bought for me. (Girls at my high school were required to wear stockings or panty shoes and dresses or skirts and blouses.). I sat in the front row in front of his desk. With my legs spread open, my skirt or dress pulled up high giving him a clear view of my cunt.
Commands continued to get more kinky as we developed our Sub / Master relationship. The first time I was flogged pretty much set the initial limits as to how much I could take and for how long. I will tell you the flogging did give me very good and strong orgasms? As we played often the flogging did increase some over time. With both Teach and Hubbie I only remember having to use my safe word a couple times.
Things really escalated about a month after I accepted Teach's collar. He brought me to a three day weekend party thrown by his Harley riding group. Within a few hours of arriving I had several first. Which I very willingly chose to do, mainly due to the extremely intense turn ons. Much more intense than anything I had ever experenced before.
I danced and stripped to music in front of the whole group of seven guys and three other gals. That lead to my first blow job with an audience. That lead to me very willingly being restrained spread eagle in my first gang bang. Another first was my cunt being ate by another woman and later eating Teach's cum out of her cunt. Teach had fucked her while she was going down on me. She had gone down on my cunt going after her boyfriends cum after he had just fucked me. The two stories I have posted here are about this party.
I dated Teach for four years, until the second weekend before Hubbie and I got married. When we were married Hubbie thought him and I had given each other our virginities and neither of us had had other lovers. About a year after we were married he found out about my rather wild lifestyle. He almost left me, but he got extremely turned on about it. Thankfully the turn on outweighed his anger. About a month later I accepted his collar and we are still pretty heavy in the BDSM scene. At least once or twice a week to as many as all seven days of some weeks.
Through all these years I have had very little problems with Masters trying to take it beyond my limits. All of those have been with temporary Masters I have been lent to.
The two stories I have posted here are about the first few hours of My First Gang Bang. This is a real event that happened in Nov of 75. I can't believe that's been over 42 years ago. On that weekend my sex education tripled as well as the intensity, strength, and length of my orgasms. It's been one hell of an awesome ride.
Brandie
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Thank you, but i dont think you adressesd the question. Would you have dictated to your master who he could or couldn't have as friend? But your plug for story is noted
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Jacqui209
Thank you, but i dont think you adressesd the question. Would you have dictated to your master who he could or couldn't have as friend? But your plug for story is noted
If this post I'm quoting, is referring to my post right above it, I believe I answered your question in my second sentence. Where I was agreeing with Marie5555. Now to further explain. In my educated opinion, with over 42 years of experience in this as well as other areas of the lifestyle, there is no standard normal in the Sub / Master / BDSM side of the lifestyle. What is normal is unique to each relationship as only the members of that relationship can determine.
To an outsider, they may think for a sub to dictate anything to a Master would be abnormal. In some
relationships the participants could both be what is known as a switch. From scene to scene the sub / Master rolls my switch.
The rest of my post had several purposes. To establish my self as one with a vast amount of experience, which should give some weight to my answer, to help educate those with interest in this genere of the lifestyle. And yes to plug my stories for those that may be interested in a non fiction, or non fantasy story.
I hope this helps.
Brandie
Her Royal Spriteness
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as has been stated, every relationship is different. it's not a cookie cutter issue. it all depends on what the couple agrees upon - like any other relationship.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Lurker
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"Normal" is such an ugly word.
Do I think you will find many subs saying "Hey don't do that" out loud in a crowd unless its a hard limit no I dont
But do I think the Dom would and should listen if the sub feels threatened by someone even online, yes.
But to make any definite it would have to be my relationship and it isnt.
Do I think you will find many subs saying "Hey don't do that" out loud in a crowd unless its a hard limit no I dont
But do I think the Dom would and should listen if the sub feels threatened by someone even online, yes.
But to make any definite it would have to be my relationship and it isnt.