So this guy sits in front of TV all day, farting like there's no tomorrow.
But not just gassy noisy farts, I'm talking mega greasy wet ones, the kind that would make your dog puke and leave skid marks.
His wife understandably is disgusted and upset, so she tells him: "one day Honey, you are gonna fart your guts out."
The next Sunday, as she is preparing turkey for Sunday lunch hubby lies down for a nap. Not one to waste an opportunity to get even, she takes the giblets and slips them in snoozing hubby's underwear. She then goes back to cooking the turkey.
Later on that night, her husband came to the dinner table looking very frightened.
"What happened?" asked his wife.
"Well," the man said, "you were right. I farted my guts out."
"What did you do?" asked his wife.
"Well with the Grace of God and these two fingers I got 'em all back up in there!"
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The voices in my head.
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