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I have a real life friend who had an accident few months back which left her scared & all her friends like me startled. She had been in a relationship with this domme for about 8 years. During one of their lovemaking sessions her domme went too much over the top & it hurt my friend, yet she did not stop even when requested. My friend had to go to the ER & though she recovered in weeks, her mind was scarred much more than her body. Her problem now is that she doesnt get enough turned on when she has sex with her new lover, as it doesnt involve any BDSM. Her new gf is into BDSM but cant think of it anymore because it scares my friend. Her gf feels that she isnt enjoying their relationship anymore & both of them love each other but their relationship is falling apart. I wonder how they could improve their situation?
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Hi hopefully my reply will bump your question. I'm not a domme but as far as I know any relationship is built on trust and communication. You say she had an 'accident.' It wasn't. It was abuse plain and simple. That takes a lot to recover from.

I'm assuming this is a relatively new relationship and they're still learning each other personally and sexually. If I was her friend I'd suggest counselling and ample recovery time giving support and love. It sounds like a knee jerk rebound relationship and your friend is simply not ready to trust yet.
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I think she's jumped into a new relationship before dealing with the baggage of the last. A fatal mistake. I feel she yearns to much to be loved yet doesn't love herself. Personally I always wait between six months to a year minimum before starting a new relationship after finishing the last. I've just met someone new, but it's been almost two years since my last relationship. That said, I didn't do without sex during that two years, but I wouldn't get involved again till sure I was confident enough in myself to commit fully.
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There is always the desire to go further as we explore ,in this vein, too far is a real risk ,hightened pleasure may open the wrong doors.
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First off OP, let me tell you how very sorry I am for your friend who went through this. This kind of news just pisses me off to high heaven. It's hard enough to try to live this lifestyle with all the people who do not understand the dynamics behind it. But when you hear things like this it only reaffirms their feelings that BDSM is all about power and abuse and that's simply not true. What your friend went through was terrible and I wish people would understand that there are real people with real feelings in this. D/s is NOT a fantasy world It is NOT a game that you can turn on and off at will. At least not in MY book.

Trust is the cornerstone of a D/s relationship and if you don't or can't trust your partner you may as well go home. This friend has had that precious trust shattered and it's no wonder why she is having relationship troubles. Safewords are given for a reason. When a sub calls out their safeword ALL ACTION STOPS IMMEDIATELY! No questions asked no excuses. IT FUCKING STOPS! After that you can discuss what happened and why. But after you put the paddle down. A Dom/Domme/Master that does not adhere to that rule shouldn't be one. Period.

I hope your friend can find someone they can trust and I hope they get past this. I hate to see a good submissive ruined because of some idiot who had no business being in charge.
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Thank you for the replies. I will note down all you had to say while i comfort her.