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Totally confused by a girl

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Active Ink Slinger
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met a girl on a website (not a dating one).

We sent Pm's back and forth and basically, I asked her out: why don't we meet for a drink? So we did.
Afterward, I messaged her:
"Really enjoyed meeting you. Had a really great time, and I am very attracted to you. If you'd like to meet up again awesome! if not, no pressure, and no hard feelings. Good luck with uni!"
She didnt reply for 3 months and so I shrugged it off, moved on and forgot about her.
Out of the blue she messaged me:
"I am SOO sorry for leaivng it so late, been really busy and was in hospital. Was really nice meeting you to, your a lovely guy. Lets meet for a coffee or something sometime smile"
I asked her when she was next free and she replied:
"I'm actually insanely busy atm with uni and I'm headed back to London for most of march but would be nice to meet for a coffee around Easter time? (will contact closer the time with an actual day of course!)"


Well, Easter has been and gone, unless she meant the Easter holidays.

I sent her a short email;

"Got some awesome news, got accepted for college on the course I really wanted. Hope you enjoyed your trip!"

Several days ago.

No reply.

And yet, in the interim, this girl is still on the website, posting on the forums etc. Not too frequently, but often enough that it is noticable. Seems to run rather contrary to the "Im insanely busy!" motif.

What I dont get is: if she wasn't interested, why did she bother re-initiating contact? All she had to do if she wasn't interested, is do exactly what she had been doing up to this point: absolutely nothing.
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
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Why not just ask her, instead of us?


===  Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER  ===

Wild at Heart
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She was probably drunk or something when she messaged you after three months.

Why would you even want to have anything going on with someone so difficult to pin down anyway? You can hardly wet her whistle, it's going to be impossible to get her to wet your dick.

Focus your energy on something else. Anything else.
Active Ink Slinger
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Nah, Im more angry than anything.

Waste of fucking space.

NO ONE is THAT busy.

Don't like being used, don't like being a last resort.
Active Ink Slinger
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We are very complex individuals.
That's life.
Active Ink Slinger
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It sounds like you're feeling more than just anger, and nothing wrong with that, we are just humans after all. I believe in providing replies, usually almost-immediately or at least on a timely manner - that's just me, as I respect the person's time. However, in this day and age, respect seems to be lacking in today's society.

Others who have posted to this thread have made good points but you'll have to decide what's best for you.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soonest! smile
Lurker
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humblemetsuke let me lay down what's what. I'm guessing she is really attractive on the outside. Girl is just trying to find a guy before he becomes successful. Saying you two should meet up for coffee says she doesn't want it to be too serious. So don't share your thoughts and feeling with her. If you had a good time don't tell her. She is the type that thinks: of course you did. The 'or something sometime smile' is designed to be suggestive and to keep you thinking about her and to keep the mood lighthearted.
Her answer back shows me her planed had changed. Meaning she mostly likely met a guy she like more than you (aka dude with money or keeps her attention). And one odd thing I notice: it seems the "I am SOO sorry . . ." and the "I'm actually insanely busy . . ." message were written by two different people. Either that or she has sent out that similar message "I am SOO sorry . . ." to other guys.
Me, If I had to give you my best guess so to what is happening I would say based on they info: A guys is writing you or at least some of the messages and for some reason this girl is showing up. Yeah I know, it doesn't make sense to me either. But guys and gals we think differently for each other so naturally we write differently. And I would say two different writer. One boy the other chick. But if I had to say all the message came from a dude and the last message sent you a message he wasn't planning on sending you.
When it comes to people I'm almost always right. But this seems very weird even to me. Keep your wits about you. You'll find a girl right for you.
Wild at Heart
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Quote by CheifPussyPop
humblemetsuke let me lay down what's what. I'm guessing she is really attractive on the outside. Girl is just trying to find a guy before he becomes successful. Saying you two should meet up for coffee says she doesn't want it to be too serious. So don't share your thoughts and feeling with her. If you had a good time don't tell her. She is the type that thinks: of course you did. The 'or something sometime smile' is designed to be suggestive and to keep you thinking about her and to keep the mood lighthearted.
Her answer back shows me her planed had changed. Meaning she mostly likely met a guy she like more than you (aka dude with money or keeps her attention). And one odd thing I notice: it seems the "I am SOO sorry . . ." and the "I'm actually insanely busy . . ." message were written by two different people. Either that or she has sent out that similar message "I am SOO sorry . . ." to other guys.
Me, If I had to give you my best guess so to what is happening I would say based on they info: A guys is writing you or at least some of the messages and for some reason this girl is showing up. Yeah I know, it doesn't make sense to me either. But guys and gals we think differently for each other so naturally we write differently. And I would say two different writer. One boy the other chick. But if I had to say all the message came from a dude and the last message sent you a message he wasn't planning on sending you.
When it comes to people I'm almost always right. But this seems very weird even to me. Keep your wits about you. You'll find a girl right for you.


Fascinating.
Lurker
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@Magical_felix yeah I have no clue either as to why something like that would happen. I just go by the info that is given to me. And believe me I am more confused by this than this young man is.
Active Ink Slinger
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She actually posted on the site.

"Most importantly set a date that works for YOU, don't plan around people who may or may not turn up as lots of people will end up flaking."

She posted that on the site, in response to a girl trying to organise a meetup.

I couldn't pass the opportunity to challenge her so I quoted her and said:

""Yes, it is frustrating when someone ignores you, can't respond to messages or the like, under the false guise of "being busy".

Right away I get a MASSIVELY long email. How she IS insanely busy, and shes got all these personal problems, and sick relatives and shes logging into the site for a few moments at a time, just for an escape.

I replied, I was sorry to hear that, but to reply would taken 10 seconds. No one is THAT busy. And would saved us both a lot of trouble. I said that waiting 3 months for a first reponse was massively excessive in itself. But waiting an additional 2 months was just taking the absolute piss. I mean, farting takes me 10 seconds. Coughing about that length of time. Takes me longer than to light a cigarette!

Cue her response:

""IIt hasn't been 3 months. My last PM was sent 24th February, not even 2 months ago. I was in London longer than I had planned as I had extra time off work and uni and being around my family made me feel better. I came back on March 24th and had an essay due in 29th. I had a friend come on the 30th and they're leaving tomorrow. I'm then back to London for my best friends birthday and to visit my mothers grave and spend time with my family. Then I'm back here and I have 4 exams. So yes, it IS a busy time and I had every intention of responding to all of my messages tomorrow once my friend had gone home as I don't like being glued to my phone in company and I like to give full attention to messages. I've never been someone to just cut contact with someone because I'm 'bored' and I'm hurt by the suggestion in all honesty. Me and my closest friends often leave it a long time before responding to each other because we know it doesn't mean anything and it doesn't affect our friendships.
Anyway I'm sorry to hear that April is equally a difficult time for you and I wish you all the best.""

I find it amazing and hilarious, NOW she has ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD to write out essays to me, basically making it my fault, guilt-tripping me, and avoiding any responsibility for being such a shallow, supercilious and manipulative girl. How the fuck am I supposed to know that about her closest friends? I BARELY EVEN KNOW HER, BECAUSE SHE NEVER FUCKING EMAILS.

Im done. Fuck the cancerous cunt. Waste of my fucking time and energy. Don't care if she comes offering nights of passionate sex, Im totally bored of her now.I don't date "children."
Lurker
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Quote by CheifPussyPop

Me, If I had to give you my best guess so to what is happening I would say based on they info: A guys is writing you or at least some of the messages and for some reason this girl is showing up. Yeah I know, it doesn't make sense to me either. But guys and gals we think differently for each other so naturally we write differently. And I would say two different writer. One boy the other chick. But if I had to say all the message came from a dude and the last message sent you a message he wasn't planning on sending you.
When it comes to people I'm almost always right. But this seems very weird even to me. Keep your wits about you. You'll find a girl right for you.


I was thinking along those same lines. Those "female" accounts nearly always seem to be men posing as women. I'd say about 90% of online "female" accounts are men pretending to be women.

They just do it to get your hopes up, make you think you've met a game girl and will soon be getting your nuts wet, just to be nasty and disappoint you. There are some evil bastards in the world.
Active Ink Slinger
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Thing is, we DID actually meet in person
Lurker
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@humblemetsuke your 2nd post I find even stranger. No where in the first post did you make it sound like she dropped you because you were bored. I am the one that said that. Which makes things stand out even more to me. Yeah it seems like I said she went to see another guy dude didn't turn up and now she's feeling vulnerable.

Base on the her message you shared, your message you left her in the forum meant a lot to her. Because to her it shows you care and right now she needs that--someone caring.

No doubt it was a dude typing you or at least telling her what to type. Maybe it was meant as a joke. She is at the point that she is willing to give you another chance. Don't call her names. You're a man, no need to lower yourself to that level.

This is what you should message her: If we do go on another date I don't want it to be coffee. We need to do an active that forces us to show our true self to the other. Maybe hike or a visit to the flea-market, or go to a local event. It's cool that you compere me to your closest friend. I am not your friend though, never will be. I am a love interest. If you want to make a team and conquer this world together we can do that.

We are both going to have to grow because it is something neither of us is used to. Look, before we go on another date we are going to have to find common ground. So we can make a date the fits both of us.

Then when you guys do meet up. You should have me go instead. I'll be like such and such sent me. Then she'll be like: umm who are you? And I'll be like: You like running around for guys that could care less about you; so me and humblemetsuke figured I would be a prefect match for you. Her: Ummm I don't know you like that. Me: It's okay we are going to do something I know you'll like. Her: what are we going to do. At which point I would take her back to my spot and T.K.O that pussy. Then leave her, and every time her pussy is hurt she'll think of me.

If you really want to wife this girl. Reach out to me via PM. I'll give you everything you need to make a girl like her happy. But really I'm down with the first plan I suggested too.
Active Ink Slinger
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Err yeah.

Im just gonna cut my losses.
Lurker
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Good choice. She missed out on a great guy. A girl like that ends up with a guy she doesn't truly love and over time gives into the notion that: it's suppose to be like this between a guy and girl.

You'll find your other half just be strong my friend.
Gingerbread Lover
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Quote by CheifPussyPop
Me: It's okay we are going to do something I know you'll like. Her: what are we going to do. At which point I would take her back to my spot and T.K.O that pussy. Then leave her, and every time her pussy is hurt she'll think of me.


WTF?!
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
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Lurker
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It's a joke if you didn't know, duh.
Constant Gardener
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Geeze, that poor, confused young woman...you sound like a real keeper.

What losses exactly has she made you suffer? How has she put you out or stomped upon your masculinity and sense of self-worth?

Sounds to me like she sized you up pretty well in your first and only meet and decided your particular flavor of misogyny wasn't her cup of tea.

Methinks she is the one who has dodged a bullet, in this instance.

There's little hope for you, at present, with the attitude you're showing us all here.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Active Ink Slinger
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I am a misogynist?

Nods. You base that on my posts fair enough.

**Content removed by moderator. Violates Lush TOS.**

"Sounds to me like she sized you up pretty well in your first and only meet and decided your particular flavor of misogyny wasn't her cup of tea. "

That maybe true. Which begs the question, why even bother offering to meetup again?

**Content removed by moderator. Violates Lush TOS.**

Your right I lost nothing. I just dont like having my time wasted, or being strung along by some cheap cunt.
Lurker
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Quote by humblemetsuke
I am a misogynist?

Nods. You base that on my posts fair enough.

Allow me to offer my assessment of you: a fucking idiot who doesn't know the first thing about me, a half-bright armchair psychologist who not only struggles with limited intellect, but lacks the common decency to know its fucking place.

"Sounds to me like she sized you up pretty well in your first and only meet and decided your particular flavor of misogyny wasn't her cup of tea. "

That maybe true. Which begs the question, why even bother offering to meetup again?

Try actually reading what has been posted before posting your unsolicited diatribe, you fucking moron.

Your right I lost nothing. I just dont like having my time wasted, or being strung along by some cheap cunt.


That told him. You go for it, fella!
Active Ink Slinger
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Not sure if your being sarcastic or not.

Regardless, I apologise for the sharpness.
Active Ink Slinger
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Not sure if your being sarcastic or not.

Regardless, I apologise for the sharpness.
Lurker
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Quote by humblemetsuke
Not sure if your being sarcastic or not.

Regardless, I apologise for the sharpness.



No, I'm not being sarcastic. I know what it's like when these bloody women get your hopes up, give you the impression you're about to get your nuts in, and then let you down.

It fucks me off. I know how you feel, mate.
Lurker
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Quote by WellMadeMale
Geeze, that poor, confused young woman...you sound like a real keeper.

What losses exactly has she made you suffer? How has she put you out or stomped upon your masculinity and sense of self-worth?

Sounds to me like she sized you up pretty well in your first and only meet and decided your particular flavor of misogyny wasn't her cup of tea.

Methinks she is the one who has dodged a bullet, in this instance.

There's little hope for you, at present, with the attitude you're showing us all here.


You shouldn't wind people up when they've had their heart broken. It's not nice, you know. Next time it happens to you, we'll all have a go at you, shall we?
Lurker
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Quote by humblemetsuke
I am a misogynist?

Nods. You base that on my posts fair enough.

Allow me to offer my assessment of you: a fucking idiot who doesn't know the first thing about me, a half-bright armchair psychologist who not only struggles with limited intellect, but lacks the common decency to know its fucking place.

"Sounds to me like she sized you up pretty well in your first and only meet and decided your particular flavor of misogyny wasn't her cup of tea. "

That maybe true. Which begs the question, why even bother offering to meetup again?

Try actually reading what has been posted before posting your unsolicited diatribe, you fucking moron.

Your right I lost nothing. I just dont like having my time wasted, or being strung along by some cheap cunt.


He doesn't know what he's talking about any way. **Content removed by moderator. Violates Lush TOS.** Don't rise to the bait. Ignore the idiots and just enjoy yourself.
Lurker
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Quote by humblemetsuke
I am a misogynist?

Nods. You base that on my posts fair enough.

Allow me to offer my assessment of you: a fucking idiot who doesn't know the first thing about me, a half-bright armchair psychologist who not only struggles with limited intellect, but lacks the common decency to know its fucking place.

"Sounds to me like she sized you up pretty well in your first and only meet and decided your particular flavor of misogyny wasn't her cup of tea. "

That maybe true. Which begs the question, why even bother offering to meetup again?

Try actually reading what has been posted before posting your unsolicited diatribe, you fucking moron.

Your right I lost nothing. I just dont like having my time wasted, or being strung along by some cheap cunt.


I get like that when women mess me about as well. You don't need it. They are just bloody time wasters some of them.
Lurker
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Quote by WellMadeMale
Geeze, that poor, confused young woman...you sound like a real keeper.

What losses exactly has she made you suffer? How has she put you out or stomped upon your masculinity and sense of self-worth?

Sounds to me like she sized you up pretty well in your first and only meet and decided your particular flavor of misogyny wasn't her cup of tea.

Methinks she is the one who has dodged a bullet, in this instance.

There's little hope for you, at present, with the attitude you're showing us all here.


Quote by humblemetsuke
I am a misogynist?

Nods. You base that on my posts fair enough.

Allow me to offer my assessment of you: a fucking idiot who doesn't know the first thing about me, a half-bright armchair psychologist who not only struggles with limited intellect, but lacks the common decency to know its fucking place.

"Sounds to me like she sized you up pretty well in your first and only meet and decided your particular flavor of misogyny wasn't her cup of tea. "

That maybe true. Which begs the question, why even bother offering to meetup again?

Try actually reading what has been posted before posting your unsolicited diatribe, you fucking moron.

Your right I lost nothing. I just dont like having my time wasted, or being strung along by some cheap cunt.
Lurker
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Quote by WellMadeMale
Geeze, that poor, confused young woman...you sound like a real keeper.

What losses exactly has she made you suffer? How has she put you out or stomped upon your masculinity and sense of self-worth?

Sounds to me like she sized you up pretty well in your first and only meet and decided your particular flavor of misogyny wasn't her cup of tea.

Methinks she is the one who has dodged a bullet, in this instance.

There's little hope for you, at present, with the attitude you're showing us all here.


Quote by humblemetsuke
I am a misogynist?

Nods. You base that on my posts fair enough.

Allow me to offer my assessment of you: a fucking idiot who doesn't know the first thing about me, a half-bright armchair psychologist who not only struggles with limited intellect, but lacks the common decency to know its fucking place.

"Sounds to me like she sized you up pretty well in your first and only meet and decided your particular flavor of misogyny wasn't her cup of tea. "

That maybe true. Which begs the question, why even bother offering to meetup again?

Try actually reading what has been posted before posting your unsolicited diatribe, you fucking moron.

Your right I lost nothing. I just dont like having my time wasted, or being strung along by some cheap cunt.
The Bee's Knees
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it honestly sounds to me, based on your original post, that she was just using you as an option. the first reply was simply a way of staying on your radar. it got your attention, but was vague enough to not set any promises.

Say. Her. Name.