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Advice for my story idea

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Advanced Wordsmith
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I'm planning to write a story featuring a young white Australian couple who move to Singapore after the husband's firm posts him there. While they're there, the husband and wife decide to enact a long cherished mutual fantasy by allowing his wife to receive an erotic massage from a local male masseur. Things go as planned and the wife and her new lover develop a powerful chemistry. The husband is more than willing to relinquish his monopoly on his wife and step into the background so that his wife's fun with the Singaporean masseur is not interrupted. Now, at this point, I want to continue the story in such a way that the Aussie couple begs the masseur to impregnate the wife. They both desperately want children but the hubby is sterile. Accordingly, he sees an opportunity to let his wife get impregnated by her lover, thus allowing her to fulfill her wish of someday having her own biological child. Do you think that this additional element will be too extreme for most readers to stomach? Thanks in advance for the feedback.
Mazztastic
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Hi there, it sounds like you have the story quite well planned out.

I would suggest that you concentrate on the three of them in the story and how the relationship takes off (with maybe a small mention of the desire for children) and then write a second part where you tackle the impregnation subject. It feels like they could easily be two separate stories...
Alpha Blonde
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As Mazza mentioned, I would definitely establish the dynamic of the couple before they go the masseur. Earlier in the story, you could use the move to Singapore to mention how there is hope that the wife will be able to immerse herself in a new culture and explore a new city and have something to focus on, thus hopefully taking her mind off their infertility issues and her longing to have a child of her own etc. You could even mention that they'd been trying IVF in Australia etc without success and the couple was hoping the move would be a fresh start for their marriage, away from the stresses of trying to conceive.

I think this would help the reader understand and empathize with the husband's decision later on during the sex scene.
Advanced Wordsmith
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Thanks for the advice, everyone. I really appreciate the helpful feedback and suggestions. So based on the responses that my thread has elicited so far, I think I'll divide the story into the three chapters, with each being a fully developed story by itself. The first will pertain to the existing relationship between the husband and wife, as well as the obstacles that they've encountered in trying to have a child, while the third will detail the husband's motivation for deciding to allow the masseur to impregnate the child. In your opinion, will the tripartite division enable the readers to understand the decision making processes motivating the central protagonists? Again, thanks
Her Royal Spriteness
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one more thing. you'll want to put dinosaurs in your story. trust me on that. Dinosaurs are hot. smile

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Alpha Blonde
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Quote by brown_raptor
Thanks for the advice, everyone. I really appreciate the helpful feedback and suggestions. So based on the responses that my thread has elicited so far, I think I'll divide the story into the three chapters, with each being a fully developed story by itself. The first will pertain to the existing relationship between the husband and wife, as well as the obstacles that they've encountered in trying to have a child, while the third will detail the husband's motivation for deciding to allow the masseur to impregnate the child. In your opinion, will the tripartite division enable the readers to understand the decision making processes motivating the central protagonists? Again, thanks


I don't think you need to elaborate on their fertility struggles so much that it needs its own chapter and heavy storyline and detailing.

Just infuse it into the present-day story you're telling. You can weave in little snippets of the backstory where appropriate - to explain why she's distant at first, or why her mood is improving with the new scenery and living circumstances or how devoted the husband is to her happiness etc. The reader will be able to fill in the rest with their own imagination.

You can start in Singapore and in showing us who these characters are in a seemingly unrelated scene (shopping, unpacking, morning coffee, post-sex pillow talk etc), their whole struggle can be revealed in the way they behave, converse, and in how they relate to each other.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by sprite
one more thing. you'll want to put dinosaurs in your story. trust me on that. Dinosaurs are hot. smile


I always look for dinasaurs in my erotica soup.

Good luck with the story. Sounds like it has all the elements needed for good erotica.

I think you've figured out the three chapter plan, and it sounds like a good one.

One other thing aspect to this:

Depending on how you treat the fertilization aspect of that third piece, you might want to consider putting this in either the fetish or interracial categories.

There is a subculture of readers who enjoy interracial breeding as a fetish topic.

It's mostly having to do with white women being bred by black bulls, but this is a variation on that theme.

Hope it turns out well.
Lurker
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Quote by brown_raptor
I'm planning to write a story featuring a young white Australian couple who move to Singapore after the husband's firm posts him there. While they're there, the husband and wife decide to enact a long cherished mutual fantasy by allowing his wife to receive an erotic massage from a local male masseur. Things go as planned and the wife and her new lover develop a powerful chemistry. The husband is more than willing to relinquish his monopoly on his wife and step into the background so that his wife's fun with the Singaporean masseur is not interrupted. Now, at this point, I want to continue the story in such a way that the Aussie couple begs the masseur to impregnate the wife. They both desperately want children but the hubby is sterile. Accordingly, he sees an opportunity to let his wife get impregnated by her lover, thus allowing her to fulfill her wish of someday having her own biological child. Do you think that this additional element will be too extreme for most readers to stomach? Thanks in advance for the feedback.


I don't see why the element you mentioned would be problematic. And even if it was "too extreme" for most readers, their reaction would be irrelevant. I say that because when you write you should write for yourself and only for yourself. It should always be that way in any creative endeavor. If you write well, you'll find an appreciative audience that will welcome your efforts. Naysayers are inevitable and the vast majority of the time they're just timid souls who don't like being challenged. Express yourself as you see fit. If you're not harming others, then there's no issue.
Lurker
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Quote by sprite
one more thing. you'll want to put dinosaurs in your story. trust me on that. Dinosaurs are hot. smile


dinosaurs with laserguns
Certified Mind Reader
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Quote by brown_raptor
Thanks for the advice, everyone. I really appreciate the helpful feedback and suggestions. So based on the responses that my thread has elicited so far, I think I'll divide the story into the three chapters, with each being a fully developed story by itself. The first will pertain to the existing relationship between the husband and wife, as well as the obstacles that they've encountered in trying to have a child, while the third will detail the husband's motivation for deciding to allow the masseur to impregnate the child. In your opinion, will the tripartite division enable the readers to understand the decision making processes motivating the central protagonists? Again, thanks


I guess if I was to give some advice, it would be to keep in mind what the site is for. I like stories (as opposed to scenes that are entirely sex-based with no plot), but ultimately the readers are going to be looking for the erotic elements. If you publish a chapter without some kind of sexual element, there's a good chance readers will get bored. So, pay attention to how you're pacing your story. By all means tell the story you want to tell, but try not to get bogged down in it, sacrificing the erotic charge.

Also, robot witches riding laser dinosaurs would be an awesome addition.

Post-avant-retro-demelodicized-electro-yodel-core is my jam.

Lurker
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Quote by brown_raptor
I'm planning to write a story featuring a young white Australian couple who move to Singapore after the husband's firm posts him there. While they're there, the husband and wife decide to enact a long cherished mutual fantasy by allowing his wife to receive an erotic massage from a local male masseur. Things go as planned and the wife and her new lover develop a powerful chemistry. The husband is more than willing to relinquish his monopoly on his wife and step into the background so that his wife's fun with the Singaporean masseur is not interrupted. Now, at this point, I want to continue the story in such a way that the Aussie couple begs the masseur to impregnate the wife. They both desperately want children but the hubby is sterile. Accordingly, he sees an opportunity to let his wife get impregnated by her lover, thus allowing her to fulfill her wish of someday having her own biological child. Do you think that this additional element will be too extreme for most readers to stomach? Thanks in advance for the feedback.


Wow! Great story you made, a well-planned story. I would love to hear the story ends with happy ever after. Would it be? Well, maybe it's weird idea what you think? If it's possible can you send me a copy? This is so hard for the part of a boy at all when the making is on while hubby is out the door way though quite fantastic.