Hey guys and girls I have a bit of an issue I need some opinions on. For a while now I've been involved with a transexual girl. I met her in early march and originally met her just to have sex and get my mind off of the breakup I endured only a month prior. From that day on we stayed in contact though, saw each other a lot and had a great time together to this day. I liked to refer to our relationship as friends with benefits but I now know I definately developed feelings for her and would like a relationship with her. Now on to the problem. She does escort to make money for the surgery that comes up and for a living since she is still studying. Along with that is the occasional webcamshow and short porn clip with a friend of hers. Now no man likes to see "his girl" with other men and even though we are not together I tend to get quite jealous. So what do you guys think? Is a relationship between us possible under these circumstances?I'd really like to hear your thoughts
It's all up to you! If she has to change her life to make you happy, then forget it.
Accepting all parts of your partner is key to being happy with them and the relationship. It doesn't sound like you accept all parts of her and what she does. I say either accept the relationship as it is (FWB) or leave it if you can't do the former. 3 things to keep in mind: 1) You may not be over your ex fully 2) You can't pay for the surgery your friend needs and it's unfair to make that an issue 3) You may not be in a good place to be in a committed relationship right now if you have some jealousy issues.
I can definately say I am ready for a comitted relationship with her that is not the issue here. The thing is really as you guys said I can't make her stop what she does just so I am happy and I am aware of that I won't try that. As far as my jealousy goes I am able to contain it so far I mentioned it once and she said she understands but we never argued because of it. The thing is just I am in a weird position. as some of you said I can't make her stop what she does if she doesn't want to but on the other hand if we ever get together I can't have her fuck other men while she is with me
Ok, you've made your choice. Move on.
You should just ask her if she's interested in taking things to a more committed level and discuss the escorting situation.
Maybe she is willing to compromise (if she wants a relationship too) and just do cam and online stuff rather than full on escorting. Maybe she needs the money and this it the most viable option for her right now. Or if you have the means, you can supplement her income so that she can cut down on the escorting. If quitting is a non-negotiable, then you have to ask yourself if you can separate sex and love and understand that for her it's work - and not emotions.
Part of the reason why you may feel anxiety about this is that you met her under similar circumstances (just for sex), and presumably you both developed feelings. You may be worried that this could happen with another customer of hers - mutual feelings developing, maybe he has cash and is generous, and maybe your heart gets broken in the process. Thing is, you don't want to have regrets in life... When love comes into play, emotions are always going to be at risk. You just have to figure out if she's worth the gamble and then go from there.
I agree with Dancing Doll but would add that you need to be sure that she is as committed to the relationship as you are. If it is just a friends with benefits to her then maybe you should move on especially with the jealousy issue.
