Okay, so I have been with my lover for over a year and we have very little intimacy for our scheduals are always conflicting. So I bought a dildo, and he found out about and wasn't too happy with me because of it. (He thinks I'm gonna replace him with a robot, but I assure you the real thing is much better then a toy.) The dildo is a piece of shit anyways (need a new one soon!), so how would I go about convincing him that dildos could be fun for him as well?
That's a tough question you would probably get better advice from a woman's point of view
Maybe involve him in the purchasing of a new one. You could turn the whole shopping experience into a fun erotic game. Then I would suggest that he watch on as you use it, put on a performance. If he then can't understand, I do beg to question is he really that much better than a toy.
To boldly Lush where no one has Lushed before
Don't tell him you bought a new one. You don't need to share everything. Just buy a big one and go ape-shit with it.
Ask him if he would like to help you pick out a new one, then ask him if he would like to use it on you. Show him that, yes it gets you excited, but then show him how much you enjoy being with him. If he feels involved, maybe it won't be as offensive to him.
I agree with kitty40. Plenty of guys, like myself, have very possessive feelings (even when we know they are silly/destructive) and react badly to any form whatsoever of sexual competition. A dildo could definitely fall into that category, especially one that is modelled on a real cock and even more so if it is visually larger than his own erection. So getting him feeling involved with the choosing and using is a way of seeing the toys as connected with him rather than separate. And you could try opening up the conversation to include other toys, get him to talk about what he likes and dislikes about all kinds of toys before narrowing in, because he might be a bit reluctant to discuss a topic that is a bone of contention. So to speak.
You need to know if you using it will turn him on. Otherwise it will be a problem on his side because he can't connect with the idea or not even excited about it. Tell him when you are away from each other, you always think of him and it turns you on when using a dildo. That you would want him to use it to you when you finally spend sexy time.
I could show you INCREDIBLE things...
Have u thought about going shopping for a toy together?
Lelo makes dual pleasuring ones
Or getting one that looks less like a penis and more like a massager so he is not threatened?
Sex drives are rarely the same...
Talk to him..let him know the more ah pleasure u get the more u will WANT with him
I agree with Magical Felix. Your partner does not need to know everything. But if you are trying to keep the relationship honest, tell your partner and ensure him it's not a replacement but an enhancer.
Maybe buy a toy that is smaller than his or a vibe that does not imitate a penis. Telling during sessions, that his is much bigger and better than the toy.
And like how many have suggested, go shopping for the toy together and try to be playful while you guys are shopping. I love going to the adult toy shop and always end up buying more things for the bedroom than intended, Additionally. it opens up communication to express wants, fantasize, and unexplored desires.
I love shopping around the clothing area. They have all sorts of sexy lingerie, panties (love the crotchless panties) costomes and role playing kits like nurse or maid, they are pretty cheap and fun.
Is the toy bigger than he is? Thicker? Some men have issues with that because they are insecure. If that isn't the issue, then he just needs to get over it. Sex toys can be fun, and there is nothing wrong with having a BOB if he isn't available. You can even have one made with a cock cloning kit. You can make a mold of his and use it.
My first reaction is to roll my eyes at a guy who needs to get into a pissing-contest with a dildo. But on the other hand, if my guys started using an inflatable girl with a working pussy-hole, I'd probably start to feel insecure too. Since propitious timing is the real problem, maybe you can both work at making more time in your respective schedules for sex. It may be hard to arrange, but it's better than suspicions and insecurity. Otherwise... be more discreet, and hide your toys better!
Years ago, I was in a similar situation with a live in lover. He said I have an addiction to toys & I should see a shrink. I did and the shrink kept saying in a very heavy low tone 'tell me more..'
:D
