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The Bible - source of erotic porn?

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Kat
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Say two hail Mary's and self flagellate Lush!
SusanEngland
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A great advert (which has little meat to it - if I dare express it in that way) for a $21 book.

The journalist likes his words, doesn't he !! He actually has plenty to say but nothing to contribute.
insomniac
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Quote by SusanEngland
A great advert (which has little meat to it - if I dare express it in that way) for a $21 book.

The journalist likes his words, doesn't he !! He actually has nothing to say or contribute.


You should be a critic Susan, you have an excellent way of putting people down!

Have you any new stories up your sleeve?
SusanEngland
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Quote by insomniac
Quote by SusanEngland
A great advert (which has little meat to it - if I dare express it in that way) for a $21 book.

The journalist likes his words, doesn't he !! He actually has plenty to say but nothing to contribute.


You should be a critic Susan, you have an excellent way of putting people down!

Have you any new stories up your sleeve?


Insomniac, I need to bring my "Growing Together" to a final conclusion. I would also like to write a sequel, or at least another story, to follow "Please Don't Make Me Do it." At the moment my inspiration is lost in a fog of inpenetrable density.

I have been asked to write three stories - the snag is that two of them are for an Indian site and while I can write the stories and already have ideas for them, my major problem is making them sound authentic-ish in a culture of which I know pitifully little.

The third is a fetish story - requested by a fan - and once again I am trying to gain knowledge of and inspiration for a fetish of which I'm ingnorant !!! I shall try though.
mrplow
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I always keep the bible under my pillow when I need literature to stroke to. Doesn't everyone?
SusanEngland
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Quote by mrplow
I always keep the bible under my pillow when I need literature to stroke to. Doesn't everyone?


After pondering this mrplow, and after due deliberation, and without prejudice, and not to beat (so to speak) about my bush, I think my scales tip in favour of The Kama Sutra.

Having read the previous few words please delete "my" and insert "the"
Thank you.
Susan
bigdog
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In the beginning god created.......ohhhh.....ahhhh.....yessssss......
SusanEngland
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Quote by bigdog
In the beginning god created.......ohhhh.....ahhhh.....yessssss......


and just see what THAT discovery by Adam led to
SusanEngland
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Actually the Bible got it wrong - Eve was God's first creation : -----

Adam & Eve - the real story...

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain," reported Eve.

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more symmetrically 'balanced', as she put it.

"That is a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away." And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. "Well, Eve, how is my favourite creation?"

"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now let's see... where did I put that useless boob?"

Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that crap about the rib?
nicola
Matriarch
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I'm sure the male members will appreciate being called "useless boobs"!

Funny stuff - you too bigdog.
Catnip
Internet Sensation
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Quote by SusanEngland
Actually the Bible got it wrong - Eve was God's first creation : -----

Adam & Eve - the real story...

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain," reported Eve.

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more symmetrically 'balanced', as she put it.

"That is a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away." And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. "Well, Eve, how is my favourite creation?"

"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now let's see... where did I put that useless boob?"

Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that crap about the rib?



heartofdarkness
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I dont know about a boob, but I have been called a useless tit now and again