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How do YOU define submissive?

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Active Ink Slinger
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I've been wondering lately how people on here define what they think a "submissive" person is. I've looked at various websites and have read several theories on various types of submissive but I'm curious as to what YOUR personal definition is.
Active Ink Slinger
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Someone being taking advantage of by someone who fears being taken advantage of.
"Sometimes you have to believe in someone else's belief in you before the belief in yourself kicks in" ~Les Brown
Cock Connoisseur
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Quote by jacobport
Someone being taking advantage of by someone who fears being taken advantage of.



Seriously?
Lurker
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One that will give her all to feel and taste her lovers pleasure before her own. {}{}{}
Lurker
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Some one not afraid to obtain their satisfaction by serving the desires of their lover and who longs for certain types of "caresses" that so called "normal" people might think of as being abusive (spanking for example). A submissive obtains release from their inhibitions in their bondage and gets "permission" to engage in acts they might otherwise feel guilty about engaging in by "surrendering their will to another".
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by adirtysecretboy


I think this is an perfect answer.


I like this definition the best too.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by adirtysecretboy


I think this is an perfect answer.


I like this definition the best too.
Rookie Scribe
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The excitement in submission isn't the certainty that the pain or intensity won't cross the line......it's the possibility that it might
Rookie Scribe
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A submissive is someone who desires sin and punishment simultaneously..
Lurker
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Serving and pleasing my MIstress
Princess Popsicle
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This is a good question. I believe myself to be submissive but my Daddy Dom disagrees. He's say I'm no sub, I'm just a little brat. And I am a bratty little, very much so. I bend the rules, I push my luck, I do things I know I shouldn't but, ultimately, I RESPECT his rules and know that when I've been bad I will be punished. I need the structure he provides for me, even if I rebel against it, but for me that's all part of the fun. I crave his dominance and just a look from him is enough for me to know when to stop being a brat and when to start being Daddy's good girl.
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Lurker
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To me, submission is knowing you have the power but giving it another. Letting that person take control of my body and using it how they please.
Rookie Scribe
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A submissive is someone that enjoys giving over control to increase their pleasure. Perhaps each person has their own reason for being a sub and there is no standard response? Isn't it simply enough to know that they receive pleasure from their choice and be happy with that?
Chuckanator
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Depends/ Submission as an erotic fantasy or submission of a person willing to set aside their own ego to please another.

True submission is not a weakness but the foundation of love. For a couple willing to submit to one another puts the needs of their partner first. Doesn't that apply sexually too? Isn't a good lover the one that tries hardest to serve the pleasures of their partner?

My take is that it is not about dominance vs submissiveness as much as it is surrendering to love. That is why love, and commitment leaves you vulnerable and exposed.
Lurker
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I never considered submission until my heart decided for me, I've always been 100% alpha... I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR.

When I met my Daddy, on the second day I had an overwhelming urge to lay my head on his lap and feel him stroking my hair. I felt a very calm and comfortable feeling come over me. I didn't know what it was, or why I felt that way.

Over time I fell more and more in love with him, and began to respect him as a person. I looked up to him for everything he has accomplished in life. I started to take his advice to heart, and slowly allowed him to control little things.
*what to wear
*masturbation
*dinners
*reading material

I knew he had my best interests at heart, even if I didn't agree right away. I put my trust in him, and in the end, he is literally always right.

After over a year of being together, and building trust and love, he FINALLY allowed me to call him Daddy. He loves me like i'm his own, he is teaching me about all aspects of life, and he takes the best care of me. He earned the title Daddy, and he agreed. It was a natural progression, the way I believe submission should be.

To me submission is trusting someone to hold your heart, and have the best intentions to build you up as a person. It's allowing someone with experience of the real world, to help guide you with yours.



Lurker
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What some women see as degrading, others see as empowering
Bonnet Flaunter
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Quote by Fireycelt
A submissive is someone that enjoys giving over control to increase their pleasure. Perhaps each person has their own reason for being a sub and there is no standard response? Isn't it simply enough to know that they receive pleasure from their choice and be happy with that?


This is a great question, and it has been really interesting reading people's responses. Its given me better understanding of an area that I have not experienced personally.
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Quote by Jessica_Jones
I never considered submission until my heart decided for me, I've always been 100% alpha... I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR.

When I met my Daddy, on the second day I had an overwhelming urge to lay my head on his lap and feel him stroking my hair. I felt a very calm and comfortable feeling come over me. I didn't know what it was, or why I felt that way.

Over time I fell more and more in love with him, and began to respect him as a person. I looked up to him for everything he has accomplished in life. I started to take his advice to heart, and slowly allowed him to control little things.
*what to wear
*masturbation
*dinners
*reading material

I knew he had my best interests at heart, even if I didn't agree right away. I put my trust in him, and in the end, he is literally always right.

After over a year of being together, and building trust and love, he FINALLY allowed me to call him Daddy. He loves me like i'm his own, he is teaching me about all aspects of life, and he takes the best care of me. He earned the title Daddy, and he agreed. It was a natural progression, the way I believe submission should be.

To me submission is trusting someone to hold your heart, and have the best intentions to build you up as a person. It's allowing someone with experience of the real world, to help guide you with yours.







Great answer!
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Rookie Scribe
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I don't think being submissive has anything at all to do with the Dom, really.

I think it's all purely internal. If I'm submitting, I'm submitting to a few of my deepest desires. The ones that I can't express in my every day life because in practically all cases, it would be taboo and I could face some serious repercussions. And although I know that these desires can bring me true pleasure, I still force myself to close them off deep within me, until I get a chance to let them come play. And when they do come to play, it's an amazing sight to behold because I'm pushing myself and my own limits. I'm allowing myself to take more, even when I initially thought I can't. It's letting go feelings of embarrassment, guilt, fear, worry and just putting 110% of my own trust into the feeling of passion. And all of this magic is mental work.

While the Dom plays a huge role, he/she/they are only an addition to the sub's pleasure palace.

smile
Internet Philosopher
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Quote by seducedbycurls
I don't think being submissive has anything at all to do with the Dom, really.

I think it's all purely internal. If I'm submitting, I'm submitting to a few of my deepest desires. The ones that I can't express in my every day life because in practically all cases, it would be taboo and I could face some serious repercussions. And although I know that these desires can bring me true pleasure, I still force myself to close them off deep within me, until I get a chance to let them come play. And when they do come to play, it's an amazing sight to behold because I'm pushing myself and my own limits. I'm allowing myself to take more, even when I initially thought I can't. It's letting go feelings of embarrassment, guilt, fear, worry and just putting 110% of my own trust into the feeling of passion. And all of this magic is mental work.

While the Dom plays a huge role, he/she/they are only an addition to the sub's pleasure palace.

smile


This.
Lurker
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I think it's about SURRENDER.

But it's multi-faceted. I think you have to be REALLY CONFIDENT to be a sub; to TRUST a lover that much. (I think a GOOD dom knows this and accepts it...)

In My Limited Experience, the sub/dom relationship is a DANCE... (It really does take TWO to tango!)

You can only LEAD if she LETS you... (Change genders as appropriate...)

I'm NOT a BDSM fan, although I HAVE been described as dominant by some lovers. (As somebody who slaveringly licks pussy I'm not sure how that works!!!)

But then I was raised Irish Catholic and that FUCKS you up!

This thread kind of begs the SISTER (?) question, "How do you define DOMINANT?" (I'd suggest that the answer is EXACTLY the same?)

xx SF
Active Ink Slinger
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Definition depends on the two individuals involved and mutual consent.
For me it is about surrendering myself to the love and care of another
Relinquishing control
Seeking a deeper level of connectionivity/spirituality
Willing to go to higher planes of consciousness sometimes through pain, or ritual.
For myself, I am not into humiliation or degradation. I prefer a Daddy/Dom - loving, stern, wise, caring
Allowing myself to be vulnerable and tuned in to all sensations - physical/emotional/mental
Lurker
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True submission occurs naturally without being spoken or acted out.
Active Ink Slinger
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I have been exploring this world for some time now here on lush. In my opinion...

A submissive is one who finds pleasure, joy, euphoria even by submitting all control, all pleasure, and all freedoms to a dominant. Finding joy in what brings them joy no matter the cost to yourself.

However, it must be said that there are many caveats to the statement above because the right dominant must provide a safe, protective and caring environment in order for the submissive to fulfill their role.

Their are needs on both sides and at the end of the day, the goal is to fulfill those needs.

Of course just my humble opinion and I learn new things about this world every day.
I hope you enjoy my latest poem!

Secret Little
Rookie Scribe
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Giving me full power in all aspects of her life knowing I wont abuse it, but yet questioning how far it will go. Giving to me out of emotion, love and desire NOT by force or afraid of consequences. Knowing and feeling by the end of the day she will be a better more rounded person than she was with out me dominating her.
Scarlet Seductress
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If your Dom makes you bark like a dog, does that make you a subwoofer?