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Nursery Rhyme Short Ditties

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Active Ink Slinger
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Did anyone else make up their own versions of classic rhymes.

here an example:

Little miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
her knickers all tattered and torn
It wasn't the spider
That sat down beside her
but Little Boy Blue with the horn.
Lurker
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Little Jack Horner sat in the corner
Fingering Lady Day...

Then slick as a Vicar he removed her knickers
And had his evil way...


xx SF
Lurker
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Eenie Meenie Miny Mo
Daddy loves a LITTLE HO...

When she SQUEALS then you know...
Eeenie Meanie Miney WHOAH!!!

xx \SF
Lurker
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Hickory, Dickory, Dock.
Her lips wrapped
round my cock.
The clock struck two ,
I shot my goo.
All she said
was ewwww!!


Lurker
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A tisket, a tasket ,

did her from behind

bent her over a casket.

It might sound drastic

but sooooooooo fantastic

just another classic.
Lurker
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Quote by Ajax
A tisket, a tasket ,

Her bent over a basket,

I did the little Madam from behind.


It might sound Rather drastic

But felt quite sooooooooo fantastic

And put me in a classic state of mind!



There Y'go!

xx SF
Lurker
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Ba Bah, BLACK PUSS
Are we NEARLY done?

Daddy is just waiting now
For BABY GIRL to cum?

SIGH HARD BLACK SHEEP
Be his little FAIRY?

Daddy creams inside his love
His perfect little lady.

xx SF

(for KS!)

(Everyone there over 18 and not related BTW. Just to be clear, 'Cos I'm in enough shit here. )
Short Arse Brit
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If you go down to the woods today you're in a for a big surprise,
If you go down to the woods today you'd better close your eyes,
Cos Mum and Dad are having a shag,
And Uncle Frank is having a wank,
And Auntie Flo is having a go at Gran-dad!
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

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And my latest poem, The Temptation.

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Site administrator
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Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
Shut the fu .. flip up John and get to work!.
Lurker
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Quote by simplyjohn
Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are,
As I kind of wonder more
I think that you're a little whore...

No matter darling, this is right,
Pull up your knees and shine quite bright,
I'm CUMMING in you missy doll
You Twinkle Twinkle pretty moll.






Shut the fu .. flip up John and get to work!.



(I should charge for this shit...)


xx Steph
Active Ink Slinger
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Rose's are red
Leaves are green
I like your legs
Can I get inbetween
Story Verifier
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Jack And Jill went up the hill
So Jack could lick Jills fanny,
all Jack got was a mouth fall of cock
'Cause Jill's a f**king Tranny.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall...
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall...

All the kings horses and all the king's men
Fucked his cracked egg ass and balled...

(except for the horses 'cos we don't allow that...)

xx SF

(But they did.)

Nicola: "Bestiality, necrophilia and forced sex... You've gone too far..."

Me: "A horse fucking an EGG isn't bestiality..."

Nicola: *RINGS THE LAWYERS*
Matriarch
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This thread delivers, for all the wrong reasons.
Lurker
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Quote by nicola
This thread delivers, for all the wrong reasons.



COMMERCIAL BREAK!!!


Advert Silky Sexy Man Voice: "Because, see... Madam Nicola is right... This thread does indeed deliver... But unlike this thread, well... We at DHL EXPRESS just deliver... For all the right reasons... DHL... We deliver... FUCK the reason..."

Director: "CUT!!!"

xx Steph
Her Royal Spriteness
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Jack Spratt could eat no cunt,
his wife could eat no cock.

That's all i got. thank you, good night!

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Lurker
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"The eyes in your head go round and round, round and round, round and round,
The eyes in your head go round and round,
'Cos Stevie's your wee button found...

The cheeks of your ass move up and down, up and down, up and down,
The cheeks of your ass move up and down,
Cos I am cock deep up your brown...

The missy in the bed groans wah wah wah, wah wah wah, wah wah wah,
The missy in the bed groans wah wah wah,
(Can you be a little quieter or you'll wake the kids?)"


See... REALISM... (Except for the ass-sex... She hates it...)

xx Steph
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Quote by sprite
Jack Spratt could eat no cunt,
his wife could eat no cock.

That's all i got. thank you, good night!


Jack Spratt could eat no cunt
His wife would eat no cock...

And so between the two of them
The relationship was shot...

Until a FRIEND arrived with advice of a peculiar nature.
"Put some cream on her puss and some JAM on your prick
And it'll be just like a TEENAGE date, Yeah?"


xx SF

(Available for children's parties, bar mitzvahs etc...)
Story Verifier
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Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
What I thought was vaseline,
Turned out to be glue!
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
Lurker
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If you go down to the woods today,
You're in for a big surprise...

If you go down to the woods today
You'd better go in disguise...

'Cos it is now a dogging hot site
And people fuck quite all through the night...

Today's the day that you can have
Your prick licked...

xx SF
Lurker
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Quote by splodger
Did anyone else make up their own versions of classic rhymes.

here an example:

Little miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
her knickers all tattered and torn
It wasn't the spider
That sat down beside her
but Little Boy Blue with the horn.


Couldn't resist...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5w8zV9Uoos


xx SF
Lurker
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Little Miss Muffet
sat on a tuffet
and fingered herself
until Spider showed his slim
naked body and she laughed at him
because his dick was smaller than an elf.
Rookie Scribe
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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner,
Playing with Little Boy Blue,
Along came Miss Muffett. she said "Oh fucking dear,"
How does anyone get a shag round here?
Rookie Scribe
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Mary had a little skirt,
With slits right up the sides,
And every time she crossed her legs,
The boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt,
With a slit right up the front....
She never wore that one
Rookie Scribe
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Mary had a little sheep and with that sheep she went to sleep, the sheep turned out to be a ram, Mary had a little lamb!

Mary had a little lamb
The midwife had a stroke!

Mary had a little lamb she kept it in a bucket and every time the lamb got out the dog would try to....... pick it up and put it back in again !
Lurker
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Paula Paula pussy eater
was busy licking on another
babe's cunt to see her pal Nick
watching and playing with his dick.

Paula Paula pussy eater
had then suddenly felt her
panties being pulled off before Nick
gave her an ass fucking with his dick.
Active Ink Slinger
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Jack Spratt would eat no twat
His wife thought he was mean
But if she begs and spreads her legs
He'll go down inbetween.
Lurker
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A-tisket a-tasket
I found sex toys in a basket
before I looked in and saw Mom
naked and performing the trick
of letting my boyfriend Patrick
go into her pussy with his dick
which made me lift my skirt up
and pretend I'm fucking Patrick.