My sub is collared. Which for us was a HUGE step in the relationship, it was a definitive "we both want to see this thing through to the end" total commitment. For us that means that she wears a collar or keeps it as close as she can at all times. Even in public.
We have an innocent looking bracelet for family functions and public outings, something that for us says "she is mine" no one is the wiser.
We also have a leather collar that can be worn in private. It's soft royal blue and white, leather with a small padlock on the back and a D ring in the front. that's the at home collar.
Something I learned very early on in my BDSM journey is that it's not always about the flashy leather or huge padlocks. (although lets be real, those ARE pretty awesome)
I know a couple who use their wedding bands to represent that feeling of being owned for the sub. As well as others who symbolize ownership with a tattoo. As long as the person wearing the collar feels owned what it looks like on the outside is secondary.
As a side note, i used to work in retail and in my two years working there i saw three people who were wearing collars. Can't say if they were into BDSM or not, since there are some folk who wear collars as a fashion statement. It always made my day to see them (Although, I never spoke about them with the people i saw, to me it's not any of my business.) To wear a collar that looks like a collar in public takes some serious guts. People notice them, the giant Bell one girl wore hanging from hers made sure no one in the store missed it.
Being a collared sub has very little to do with wearing a collar to be honest. Anything can be a "collar" so long as both understand that this item (whatever it may be) means that you belong to another. A plain "vanilla" wedding ring is a collar of sorts. Wearing your boyfriends high school ring on a chain around your neck is a collar.
I have heard of people using anklets and bracelets as collars. The true collar is the understanding that you belong to another and they belong to you. My girl is collared yet she does not wear a collar in public. Her collar and her leash are her devotion to me.
I did have a real collaring ceremony in which time I gave her the collar she wears on occasion. However, we live in a world where wearing such is not completely accepted. So we have an understanding that we don't need such attention-grabbing wear (which would undoubtedly bring questions we don't feel like having to answer all the time!)
Funny story: I was at the store a few months back when a guy and his girl came down the aisle. She was wearing a collar and at first I thought it was just a young girl wearing a dog collar. As she got closer I could tell it was instead a sub collar (there IS a difference). As she passed by I said, "Nice collar subbie." I thought she was going to pass out from embarrassment! LOL! She said "T..thank you, Sir" as she blushed about five shades of red. She knew what I was and she knew I knew her status as well - I guess she wasn't expecting anyone to recognize her collar for what it was!
i would love to one to wear ;)
I think the word "collar" is used a little too literally, as with a lot of words in BDSM culture. In my opinion, it doesn't have to be an actual collar. I bracelet, watch, necklace, choker or any other piece of everyday jewellery can be used, as long as the intention in which it was given is pure and both parties know it's a "collar" and what said collar represents.
Interesting to see the opinions here
Someone has to be the Villain
Well said stardrinking! Its about the idea not the item. In fact you can be collared without one ... then you really are owned
Well said stardrinking! Its about the idea not the item. In fact you can be collared without one ... then you really are owned
Well said stardrinking! Its about the idea not the item. In fact you can be collared without one ... then you really are owned
I love wearing a collar.. leather and leash for play and more subtle silver one for public. It turns me on when he puts it on me.. Mmm
She has a babygirl collar she wears a lot of the time. She also has a couple leather ones but most the time I enjoy seeing her in the softer side.
I love having a collar but don't care for a leash.
What matters most is what the collar means to the person wearing it and what it means to the person for which it is being worn. Personally, I think there is something delightful in the more subtle options out there in that they can be worn publicly without anyone else the wiser as to their intended meaning.
I can’t think of a good tagline so this will have to do. Suggest a better one for me?
Collars come is many shapes sizes color and material, I wear something all the to reflect I belong to my Mistress
My collar is a plain solid rolled stainless steel collar, which came in two pieces and is locked. It's a very pretty piece of jewellery for when I'm out doing normal daytime stuff, but it also happens to have a little tag which is usually kept around the back of it, down the back of my top, which has my Owner's details on it.
When my nipples piercings are finally big enough (they're at 6mm at the moment but this will need 8 or even 10mm) then He would like to change the CBRs for flesh tunnels which have a flare on both sides and which will be pretty much impossible to remove once my body has shrunk back onto them, through which He will get rings welded to get them to be properly permanent.
I have a friend who wears a collar; I never actually knew why, I thought It was for fashion, but after reading up about the BDSM stuff on here I asked her and she told me she was actually a sub; a fair few people give her dirty looks in the street as well but her response is always this.
"I have chosen to give my life to someone I love and I will always follow; If they wish to judge me for that, then they do not know the true meaning of Loving trust."
Can't Handle The Heat?
Then Don't Mess With The Penguin!
I am for it, because it is like saying the words "I love you" for the first time. You only say it when you really mean it. So you would only get a collar for the person if you trust them 100%. If you know who they really are and are dedicated to that person.
i think that a couple can choose anything to symbolize their relationship, whether it be a collar, a ring, a tattoo, or a hairband. however, i have to say that those who wear an actual collar are beautiful.
This whole question about collars is dependent on the individual couple and the needs and wants they share.
Some Subs want and need to show they have a master and relish the wearing of a collar as a symbol of the commitment given.
Some Doms like to feel they have their property protected and show ownership of her and her commitment to him.
Personally I like to have my Sub wear a collar at home whether a choker or full collar is also up to her i will ask first but then expect compliance.
As a symbol the idea of even a necklace that i clasp around her neck before leaving the house signify's her collar.
And whether a torc a chain or a silk ribbon ,if i put it around her neck ,then, she is wearing my collar.
And just because i like to, a love bite or a hicky is also fun before we go out, it's just me and her she knows what she means to me