A few days after my birthday, a guy added me on some website. I accepted, he sent me a message and we hit it off. It said he was single. 2 weeks ago I had to cancel a date but then I changed my mind about going on the date so I sent him a text to meet me where we were going to go. He told me never mind because he was having dinner delivered to his house (because I had canceled.) This past Wednesday, we met up at my college and he helped me with an assignment I needed to get done. Right before I left he kissed me. I was pretty happy.
Well today I searched for him on Facebook (I tend to do that sometimes just so I don't get hurt). On his Facebook page it said he is in a relationship with some girl named Katie and it started on Feb. 19th. I have sent him a text waiting to see if he responds (which I am going to highly doubt with my luck). Should I back off?
Trolling cheaty dicksmack, in my opinion
To piggyback off of what Milik has said, if he and Katie have broken up but he hasn't changed his status, he may just not be over her...and is on the rebound.
As Milik said, find out Katie's significance in his life and go from there. Proceed with caution, and good luck!
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It's very early in a relationship to be so worried...
I guess that the main thing is that you are able to feel comfortable and confident in it. Now, while it's true that he may not have updated his relationship status on FB, it does seem unlikely - I mean, you're much more likely to update it if you've finished a relationship, aren't you?
I would say you need to back off, detach, just a wee bit - it sounds like you're quite emotionally involved already?
He might well still be in a relationship with this girl but it doesn't sound like much has happened between the two of you?
Speak to him, just ask if he's with this other girl... If he is, then back away gracefully, with your dignity still intact. If he's not, well, see how you feel about that and what you want to do then...
However it all pans out, I wish you the best of luck xx
The only reason I checked his Facebook page was so that I didn't get hurt again. I haven't faired well in the dating pool because guys ended up lying to me. I want to make sure that I'm not going into something where I will already be screwed over from the beginning.
Yes, the first thing you do when you're single is chance your FB status. Provided a relationship was important enough for you to change your status in the first place, the dissolution of this relationship should likely impact someone enough to change it back to single.
Unless... they're on 'a break' or in the final stages of the relationship - and in both cases, I would suggest proceeding with caution.
Quite honesty, some guys who are looking for some fun don't think twice about publicly being viewed as in a relationship or married. I met a guy in an upscale bar a few years ago, he gave me his card, we had a fun night (non-sexual, although he was pushing to drive me home and come to my place for 'one last drink'). He wanted to take me out, asked if he could call. He was good looking and fun, so I thought sure, why not. Then the next day, in my hangover haze, I pulled out his card and did a little googling. I found his Facebook page and not only was he married, but his profile pic was of him and his lovely wife. lol. He called me later that day wanting to take me out for dinner - I asked him about being married without mentioning Facebook - he admitted that he was and then asked if I thought that was a problem. Uhmm... ya think? This kind of thing has happened to me a few times - Google and Facebook are a girl's best friend. Use them. Anyway - moral of the story - don't put it past people. Many cheat, many don't care, and many will assume you won't care either.
Since you started online, I don't think it's a big deal to say that you were going to add him on Facebook but then noticed his status. Do it in a casual way - just say that it's cool, but you don't want to be 'that girl' so you wanted to know. If he spins an unrealistic tale, take it with a grain of salt. You can continue, but if you notice he's secretive with his phone, always needs to text when you're out late with him, won't introduce you to his friends or isn't available on Friday/Saturday nights, I would assume Katie is still around.
You're very wise to be wary! Especially as you've been hurt by lies before. By all means give him a fair hearing but trust your instincts on whether his story rings true or not.
If he doesn't get back to you then that says it all really...
Call me cynical, but if you smell a rat, sooner or later you'll find one. Ask the hard questions before your emotions take over. They tend to make you blind.
if you are sure that he is really in relationship with someone then you should stay away from him, but if u are not sure about it then u should try and meet him and clarify the things. Try not to get involved with person who is in any relationship it can be painful .
Move on and get over it - why keep wasting time to figure him out. Why fight for something? If it doesn't flow then let it go!
Don't over-analyse your relationships.
Stop playing games with yourself.
A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.
Frtiz Perls, father of Gestalt therapy said, (and I live by these words) I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped.”
However, if your're into mental self flagellation then go for it - nothing like emotionally self induced pain to prevent you from finding people that really care for you.
Play it Cool. If you try hard, you die hard.
I don't see the reason why you're particularly attracted to this person any more than other eligable bachelors in the pool. So you chatted and got on, but thats trivial information at this stage. You're giving yourself a hard time unnecessarly, but we've all done it. I can't count the amount of times I've been missed around, or received the 'hot cold hot cold' treatment. It's frustating, but it sounds like you're veering more towards obession, that has been strengthened because of rejection, than actual attraction. Even if he was interested, obsession is likely to drive him away and be intimidated.
Remember that you live in your own reality, so in matters like this, you need to flip script. You be the confident one, you be the non-needy one, you show how much fun you are, and love of life you have, without actually trying to direct too much attention to yourself. Theres a huge difference between showing off, and people knowing that you're showing off. One of the Paradoxes of dating and courtship behaviour, is that that it takes alot of effort, to look effortless (Thank you for that Neil Strauss).
One scenario that I suspect, is that he has been dating or courting this Katie, and they've hit a rough spot, pahaps not talking to each other or on the rocks. Often when this happens, people don't change their facebook status, because they are not sure if this situation is dead, or if it will flower again. However during this period they are more open to interest for others, and will make considerations for other potential partners as rebound or backup. Thats my guess on this, it could be entirely false, he may just be a player, on the other hand, she may just be his half-sisters best friend, that he didn't mention.
Checking his facebook is a natural reaction, but The fact that (at least you made it sound like) you are not friends on facebook, tells me you didn't get that close, nor do you really know that much about him. You're getting into territory where you're gonna destroy your own self-esteem, for no good reason.
Relax about the whole thing.
Just Chill, if it's meant for you, you'll get it. He sounds like a playah.
Just be the beautiful, confident person you are.
To those saying he may not be over this Katie girl, or hasn't had time to change is Facebook status, if I'm correct if they had broken up and he hasn't changed the status but she has which would be likely, his status would not say 'In a Relationships with Katie' It would just say 'In a Relationship' as she's taken it down. I say try to confront him about it, but not in a harsh way. If he acts dodgy about it or makes up an excuse then leave him. If he actively uses Facebook and hasn't changed his status if he's apparently single then he's lying to your face. I'd hate for you to get caught up in drama like this, and get into trouble with his girlfriend. So I say leave while you can, before you get too deep.
