Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login

Cunnilingus and men

last reply
23 replies
2.3k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Cryptic Vigilante
0 likes


Cunnilingus and men

I've heard many women here say that men are generally less proficient at cunnilingus than women. My question is, why is this the case?

Are men simply less enthusiast? Are they less aware of your genitals? Are they too soft or too harsh?

Feel free to elaborate.

Thanks and enjoy!
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Sometimes guys are just too impatient.
Switching back and forth between fingers, tongue, pressure on different areas is all fine and dandy but when it really matters a guy will switch things up, at the wrong moment, at last possible second and then the moment is lost.

Not cool... Not cool at all.


Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
An ex girlfriend told me that I ate pussy like a woman smile~
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by TheDevilsWeakness
Sometimes guys are just too impatient.
Switching back and forth between fingers, tongue, pressure on different areas is all fine and dandy but when it really matters a guy will switch things up, at the wrong moment, at last possible second and then the moment is lost.

Not cool... Not cool at all.



This.

And there are those guys that know the clit needs attention so they attack it in 5th gear right off. Big turn-off. They don't jack their cock at full speed when they first start, so WTF would make a guy think that is the way to make a girl cum?
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
change-ups, listed above, are a reason.

another is that many men (not all) think of it as a way to get women started so that you can move on to other things, when it has to be something you work up to. i gather that for a guy, a woman just starting to do whatever with her mouth before he's even hard works really well. it doesn't work quite that way for the reverse. if i''m not yet excited, being licked isn't really that pleasurable.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
I understand all of the comments and complaints ladies, but do you ever talk to your partner during sex and tell them what/how/where/ and when you like it? Just a thought!

Lurker
0 likes
I have no idea.... giggles.... never experienced a male there... but as a woman I seem to know instinctively where to touch and how... after all, masturbation is a great learning curve.. and I can also imagine where I would like to be touched and how.. knowledge is empowerment biggrin ...
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by TheDevilsWeakness
Sometimes guys are just too impatient.
Switching back and forth between fingers, tongue, pressure on different areas is all fine and dandy but when it really matters a guy will switch things up, at the wrong moment, at last possible second and then the moment is lost.

Not cool... Not cool at all.


Well just so you know, that's also the #1 mistake women do while giving a blowjob (in my opinion). It's not always about impatience; it's actually pretty damn difficult to keep repeating the exact same movement over and over, and your tongue/jaw will become numb in no time.

But yes, it's rather enraging when you feel like you're really close to cumming, and then she just pauses or changes pace/style, because she can only keep at it for so long. It's one of the reasons why I prefer penetration over blowjobs by far (unless she is extremely talented at sucking cock, and even then it's debatable).

Obviously, I'm only speaking for the guys such as myself who have a bit of stamina, and don't explode uncontrollably in 30 seconds regardless of what she's doing..
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by TheDevilsWeakness
Sometimes guys are just too impatient.
Switching back and forth between fingers, tongue, pressure on different areas is all fine and dandy but when it really matters a guy will switch things up, at the wrong moment, at last possible second and then the moment is lost.

Not cool... Not cool at all.




Ms Devil I had planned to comment but after that what do I say.
Mazztastic
0 likes
Quote by leucine


Well just so you know, that's also the #1 mistake women do while giving a blowjob (in my opinion). It's not always about impatience; it's actually pretty damn difficult to keep repeating the exact same movement over and over, and your tongue/jaw will become numb in no time.

But yes, it's rather enraging when you feel like you're really close to cumming, and then she just pauses or changes pace/style, because she can only keep at it for so long. It's one of the reasons why I prefer penetration over blowjobs by far (unless she is extremely talented at sucking cock, and even then it's debatable).

Obviously, I'm only speaking for the guys such as myself who have a bit of stamina, and don't explode uncontrollably in 30 seconds regardless of what she's doing..


Yes, we KNOW that guys can't always get a decent BJ!!

As for cunnilingus...

I've posted about this in threads before but I'll have a go here too.

I've very rarely had decent oral from a guy. In my experience, they're too impatient, too hasty and ultimately tend not to pay attention to what the woman is doing, how she is reacting. I'm not an expert, but I do believe that we're all different.

They seem to think that just licking or rubbing in the general area of the clitoris is enough, plunging their fingers in a bit here and there, causing stubble burns too sometimes Grrrr!

I think that the trick is to be observant, know when to be gentle and when to be rough, know when to go fast and when to go slow. Find the sweet spot where the woman rubs when she's masturbating and work on that, rather than blindly guessing.. Sometimes less is more.

Ultimately I think that a great deal of the responsibility lies with the woman - she needs to communicate what she likes, what does it for her. I know that for me it takes time and practice - it's not the sort of thing that you can just "get right" and I'm sure that if we applied the same things to fellatio, blow jobs would be much more enjoyable for the men...
Internet Philosopher
0 likes
I agree with what the ladies have posted. Some guys, especially younger men, tend to default to what feels good to them. They haven't yet learned the value of working up to it by kissing her thighs and slowly stimulating her entire sex before he starts to direct his attention to her clit.

Conversely, I've been with less experienced women who don't quite understand just how much speed and strength of grip or whatever I prefer during oral or a hand job. For both sexes, experience is critical to being a good lover.

I also think that same sex relations offer better oral sex. Whether it's man on man or woman on woman, there is the obvious knowledge of what feels good. It's more instinctive in gay or lesbian sex. Another reason same sexes are better sometimes is that, at least in my experience, no one is sucking or licking because they feel they should. They are in it all the way and are likely enjoying it as much as those that receive. That is often true in heterosexual relations, but honestly less often so.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Found a funny video that could really help many. Alas, I am inept at adding the link. Maybe someone, with superior skills can do this for me
It is "Keye and Peele Cunnilingus Class."
Head Nurse
0 likes
Quote by Masteratarms
I understand all of the comments and complaints ladies, but do you ever talk to your partner during sex and tell them what/how/where/ and when you like it? Just a thought!


This is another problem.

Many men take offense when you try to encourage, point out what you like better.

I had a bf who would use so much teeth that I literally bled, and was incredibly sore after. When I said something ("I like it when you use your teeth, just maybe not quite so much") he got very angry, told me that he would do it how he liked, and if I didnt like it then that was too bad. Sadly this attitude is a fairly common one, maybe not that extreme, but the "I know what I'm doing, I'm great at it because someone once told me so" attitude.

To a degree I think we create part of the problem. Because many men don't go down that often, we tend to heap praise on your heads as soon as you do. We are praising the action of gong down, rather then the actual process. So many men then think that the way they are doing it is right, it must be for the woman to have praised you so right? or they apply a one style fits all template to all women.
Head Nurse
0 likes
Quote by LusciousLola
Found a funny video that could really help many. Alas, I am inept at adding the link. Maybe someone, with superior skills can do this for me
It is "Keye and Peele Cunnilingus Class."


Mazztastic
0 likes
Quote by LusciousLola
Found a funny video that could really help many. Alas, I am inept at adding the link. Maybe someone, with superior skills can do this for me
It is "Keye and Peele Cunnilingus Class."


Ha ha ha

That made me giggle!

Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by naughtynurse


This is another problem.

Many men take offense when you try to encourage, point out what you like better.

I had a bf who would use so much teeth that I literally bled, and was incredibly sore after. When I said something ("I like it when you use your teeth, just maybe not quite so much") he got very angry, told me that he would do it how he liked, and if I didnt like it then that was too bad. Sadly this attitude is a fairly common one, maybe not that extreme, but the "I know what I'm doing, I'm great at it because someone once told me so" attitude.

To a degree I think we create part of the problem. Because many men don't go down that often, we tend to heap praise on your heads as soon as you do. We are praising the action of gong down, rather then the actual process. So many men then think that the way they are doing it is right, it must be for the woman to have praised you so right? or they apply a one style fits all template to all women.


This may be a lot of the problem, but the other part is we may not convey to our guy that we are not all the same. Therefore what Janie likes may not be just right for Alice.

My guy is great at oral sex, but this was not always the case. but we have good communication and I love this style.

Ladies if your guys does not want to pleasure just a much as he wants pleasure maybe you still need to look for the right guy.

Sometimes, especially when we have had great sex the night before and he is going to be away for a day or more. I do not like early mornings, but before he leaves he will throw the blanket back spread my legs and go down on me and give me a beautiful orgasm, then kiss me, cover me up again and tell me that was so I will not forget him while he was gone.

Now that is how I like to wake in the morning.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Please read the above! Communication makes for a happy lady. I rest my case.

Cryptic Vigilante
0 likes
Thanks for the replies people.

Quote by TheDevilsWeakness
Sometimes guys are just too impatient.
Switching back and forth between fingers, tongue, pressure on different areas is all fine and dandy but when it really matters a guy will switch things up, at the wrong moment, at last possible second and then the moment is lost.

Not cool... Not cool at all.


This seems to sum up the root of the issue, at least according to what all the others replied. I tried to figure out why this did not apply to women performing cunnilingus as well; I guess some men might tend to be more focused on trying to impress rather than on pleasuring their partner per se.

When I go down on a woman, I like to start by teasing her with many different moves, all the while trying to figure out what she prefers until I find my 'finishing move'. Obviously this finishing move is going to be focused on the clit, but women are very different in that regard; some enjoy being licked with a tensed/stiff tongue while having their clits popped out from the hood, others prefer something gentler where a soft tongue is simply applying some pressure on their hoods.

Once I've found my finishing move, I simply keep teasing her while building her climax. When she's all sensitive and ready to get off, I switch to this specific move and don't stop until she has reached orgasm.


Quote by leucine
Well just so you know, that's also the #1 mistake women do while giving a blowjob (in my opinion). It's not always about impatience; it's actually pretty damn difficult to keep repeating the exact same movement over and over, and your tongue/jaw will become numb in no time.

But yes, it's rather enraging when you feel like you're really close to cumming, and then she just pauses or changes pace/style, because she can only keep at it for so long. It's one of the reasons why I prefer penetration over blowjobs by far (unless she is extremely talented at sucking cock, and even then it's debatable).

Obviously, I'm only speaking for the guys such as myself who have a bit of stamina, and don't explode uncontrollably in 30 seconds regardless of what she's doing..


I agree with this. In fact, it's rare for me to expect getting off with a blowjob; more often than not blowjobs are simply part of foreplay for me, or just an interlude between two other practices/positions.

The best asset a girl can have to make me cum with a blowjob is to also use her hand to jerk me off. Girls who know what they're doing often purposely apply a lot of saliva on my dick to make it all slippery, then take short breaks with their mouths and jerk me intensely.

Either that, or the girls build my climax with their mouths and then I jerk my own self until I cum.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Women are usually better. My take on it is that because we have the vag/ clit/ flaps, we know how they work better. We understand the slow build, the light touch, the rhythm. We know what we like and can do it in return. Same reason we're probably not as good at BJ's. Bi men friends tell me that guys give better blowies for the same reason.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Women are usually better. My take on it is that because we have the vag/ clit/ flaps, we know how they work better. We understand the slow build, the light touch, the rhythm. We know what we like and can do it in return. Same reason we're probably not as good at BJ's. Bi men friends tell me that guys give better blowies for the same reason.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by hayley
I have no idea.... giggles.... never experienced a male there... but as a woman I seem to know instinctively where to touch and how... after all, masturbation is a great learning curve.. and I can also imagine where I would like to be touched and how.. knowledge is empowerment biggrin ...

Exactly
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Practice makes Perfect x
My Karma just ran over your Dogma
0 likes
Quote by Masteratarms
I understand all of the comments and complaints ladies, but do you ever talk to your partner during sex and tell them what/how/where/ and when you like it? Just a thought!


Absolutely! I agree. I think that, like anything, it is learned, and even though there are general understandings, we are all a litte different. One person said here that if they are NOT already excited they do not want that ~ and I would have to say that is not always the case ...
another person said that her man would not listen even with some gentle reproof in something she needed and that would not be a man for me who would not listen! Stubborness and pride has no place in the joys of sex when making things enjoyable you need to be willing to listen and should want to (BOTH partners).

To answer your question, some men are more attentive than others and able to read things, or catch on better (like anyone ~male or female). It is because this is NOT their anatomy and likely they are not as aware because they do not experience it and know what it feels likes. In reverse, some may not ask or it may be awkward even if it should not be. The closest a male will cum to feeling what it is like for women is annilingus. There are just men who are good studies and some who may not understand the process as well because their anatomy differs, and their mindset may be any number of things, but they can learn, like us. Like you said, with patience and communication on our part it helps. I also think that beyond some encouraging guidance, that when I let go of control and strop struggling in my own frustrations and impatience and go with~ I am more likely to feel better. It works both ways I think, and although building up is great and getting exactly what my body is yearning for is divine... I like allowing for the opportunity at the more spontaneous orgasm because I let go of that need to control.

Practice may not make "perfect" - but it does make better!
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by naughtynurse




I almost pissed myself...


I think each respective sex would be more skilled at perform oral on the organs they've been living with for their entire lives... If a woman touches herself and is familiar with what makes her tick, she'd be able to apply that if she ever had to satisfy another woman. Same with men. Some people think they can just go down there and wing it like it's a damn game, but you CAN'T.