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Should I act like his friend or "girlfriend"?

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I met this guy a couple of months ago (6 months) on an online dating site. He lives about 150 miles away. He told me that if I lived close by, he'd ask me out, but since I don't, he said we aren't dating. He told me he needs physical contact.

Today is my third time meeting him, other times I've been flirty and this time, I don't know... Since he's said I'll never be his girlfriend, should I be physical with him like a friend (poking, shoving, hugging) or a girlfriend (cuddling, kissing, holding hands)?

We are very close by the way and he seemed comfortable kissing and hugging me the previous two times.
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I think only YOU can answer this one. From what I can see based on what you've said, he's made it very clear that because of the distance, you'll "never be his girlfriend".

As for him feeling comfortable kissing and hugging you, of course he does!! He's a guy for heaven's sake!! And if you offered up your body and gave him the green light for GO, he'll be comfortable with having sex with you too. Guys, particular young guys will NEVER pass up an opportunity to get laid and will probably say and do whatever they can to get what they want.

You seem sweet and you're very young and it's clear that you're wanting more despite the distance. This is where you need to spend some time and think about the reality of your situation. You need to understand that there is a real strong possibility that IF you decide to act like his girlfriend including sleeping with him, it won't change anything between the two of you except that you now have a physical relationship without monogamy. If you're okay with that, if you think you can handle the intimacy without the exclusivity, then enjoy your time with him but remember to continue to live your life and have fun when you're not with him because he certainly will.

If you ask me, he's just another guy looking to have his cake and eat it to when it comes to you. Not unusual for young men I don't think. The writing is on the wall with this guy and he's been honest with you from the start. Don't be disillusioned into thinking that you can change his mind and therefore give all of yourself to him only to realize you're the only one giving anything. You'll end up being the only one hurt in the end. Be smart about it and remember that expectation is the root of all heartache.

Good luck sweetie.
Alpha Blonde
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As Belle said, he's just looking for a casual hook-up.

He's basically told you that for an actual relationship, proximity is really important to him. Because he's already told you this, he will asume that you know that whatever happens between you won't be leading anywhere. He's kind of giving you a heads-up incase you might be thinking his affections could lead to something more committed.

As for how you should act - it depends on whether you're fine with something casual. If you think your feelings could get involved or hurt, I'd take a step back and give him the impression that you want to keep things platonic.
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Quote by Nyctophilia
I met this guy a couple of months ago (6 months) on an online dating site. He lives about 150 miles away. He told me that if I lived close by, he'd ask me out, but since I don't, he said we aren't dating. He told me he needs physical contact.

Today is my third time meeting him, other times I've been flirty and this time, I don't know... Since he's said I'll never be his girlfriend, should I be physical with him like a friend (poking, shoving, hugging) or a girlfriend (cuddling, kissing, holding hands)?

We are very close by the way and he seemed comfortable kissing and hugging me the previous two times.


Ok 150 miles isn't that far especially since you are now meeting for a third time. He has given you the qualifier that "you''ll never be his girlfriend", but he met you on a dating site. Now maybe he is scared of you rejecting him, but him being comfortable kissing and hugging on the previous two meetings would seem to disqualify that thought.

To me this is a guy looking to hook up with no strings attached, hence the aforementioned you'll never be my girlfriend. Now if you're comfortable with that, then roll that way, if not don't give the milk away for free.
“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you."
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Can you say MARRIED? He might not be but that would be my first guess based upon what you've said. At any rate, you've gotten some VERY good advice from the three posters above me, mine is to listen to them.
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Quote by Wardog
Can you say MARRIED? He might not be but that would be my first guess based upon what you've said. At any rate, you've gotten some VERY good advice from the three posters above me, mine is to listen to them.


My thoughts exactly. y