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He's married, I am single....he is not making enough time for me....should I bail out or stick w
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Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by michellesam51
You might get a few bruising answers to this!
As monogamy doesn't seem to be an issue, why not find a couple more guys that could fill in for your lover. He doesn't seem to mind sleeping with both his wife and you, how could he possibly object?
Better yet, find yourself a nice single guy and you get him all to yourself.
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
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Assuming he's not open about it to his wife, why would you want a guy who's a known cheater?
=== Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER ===
Mazztastic
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He's not making enough time for you because he is married.
You are not (and I suspect will never be) his first choice or a priority to him, unless he is horny, in which case he will probably give you more time than normal so he can get his rocks off.
If you are happy to just hook up for sex, then go for it, but be aware that you will be kept hidden from his "real" life, if you were discovered, he would most likely cut you off completely.
If you're looking for the respect and attention you deserve, you'd be better to ditch this guy and find one who can give you more than this...
You are not (and I suspect will never be) his first choice or a priority to him, unless he is horny, in which case he will probably give you more time than normal so he can get his rocks off.
If you are happy to just hook up for sex, then go for it, but be aware that you will be kept hidden from his "real" life, if you were discovered, he would most likely cut you off completely.
If you're looking for the respect and attention you deserve, you'd be better to ditch this guy and find one who can give you more than this...
Devil's Advocate
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What Mazza said.
You are worth more than this. You deserve more. It's okay to treat yourself with respect.
Good luck.
You are worth more than this. You deserve more. It's okay to treat yourself with respect.
Good luck.
My latest story is a racy little piece about what happens when someone cute from work invites you over to watch Netflix and Chill.
Story Verifier
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You should ask yourself why you are in the relationship.
If it's him you want then I think your chances are pretty slim. Sorry to be blunt but you are a 'bit on the side'. He is with you for sex, nothing else.
If it is the sex you want then why complain? He is married and his priority is his wife/family. But you should also ask yourself 'is this fair on his wife and family?' Would you like this to happen to you?
As Wilful said 'have some respect for yourself. You are worth more than this.' There are lots of single guys out there looking for love so go and enjoy.
If it's him you want then I think your chances are pretty slim. Sorry to be blunt but you are a 'bit on the side'. He is with you for sex, nothing else.
If it is the sex you want then why complain? He is married and his priority is his wife/family. But you should also ask yourself 'is this fair on his wife and family?' Would you like this to happen to you?
As Wilful said 'have some respect for yourself. You are worth more than this.' There are lots of single guys out there looking for love so go and enjoy.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
Lurker
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I agree with everything said on this thread already.
While you are wasting time with him, you are going to miss out on meeting someone who is single, someone who will love you and everything about you, which is no less than you deserve. Think about it.
While you are wasting time with him, you are going to miss out on meeting someone who is single, someone who will love you and everything about you, which is no less than you deserve. Think about it.
Lurker
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M'dear, I have to concur with Trinks, Mazza and the others.
This is not the type of relationship you should continue - while the sex might all you want in that area, what other parts of your life are you neglecting for that.
Find a single man who treats you as the only one, the good sex will come from that.
This is not the type of relationship you should continue - while the sex might all you want in that area, what other parts of your life are you neglecting for that.
Find a single man who treats you as the only one, the good sex will come from that.
Head Nurse
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Not only everything that has been said already on this thread; but even if you are only in it for the sex, you have made yourself emotionally unavailable to anyone else, as evidenced by your need for us to validate your relationship in the form of this thread.
Active Ink Slinger
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I love threads In Ask the Girls/Guys that get taken over by the opposite asked the question. Though I wonder about either the age difference between the two of you or even what the real world, non sexual relationship is if it exists. All of the women above are on point with their comments above, though more than likely his only priority is what ever the status of his penis is.
“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you."
Head Nurse
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Quote by wolverine15
I love threads In Ask the Girls/Guys that get taken over by the opposite asked the question. Though I wonder about either the age difference between the two of you or even what the real world, non sexual relationship is if it exists. All of the women above are on point with their comments above, though more than likely his only priority is what ever the status of his penis is.
Mazza, trinket, and myself are women, but the rest are all men. 3 is hardly taking over.
Lurker
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I agree with everything that has been said. You are just a bit on the side I'm afraid, and he will not leave his wife for you for all kinds of reasons other than sex. Find yourself a compatible single man, and choose for more thansexual reasons - good sex can be learned, as long as there is the willingness to do so, and it is great to learn together with someone you love. Illicit sex is exciting, but in the end not as mutually enriching as sex within a stable loving relationship. You might ask what is missing in his marriage, and might it not be better for him to seek an answer to that, through therapy of counselling if necessary. One thing is certain - you are not the right answer, and you will end up getting terribly hurt.
This all sounds a bit tough, but along life's journey we all have to take tough decisions, even if they are painful to start with. Take this from me as one who has experienced the end to a painful affair. Over thirty years ago when my children were still at primary school, I fell in love with another woman, who was a work colleague. She was married, she said unsatisfactorily, but who knows the truth. I was open with my wife about what was going on - perhaps it would have been better to have lied. The sex was fantastic, as it often is when two experienced people come together, but the affair caused my wife great pain, and she had to seek treatment for depression, and it almost led to the breakup of my marriage. We only stopped because my mistress's husband more or less caught us in flagrante and threatened to kill me. Later that week he followed me when I was taking my children to school, and that made me realise that the threat of at least serious injury might be real. The shock led to the abrupt end of the affair, we went away fro a couple of weeks, and started rebuilding our marriage - although it took a long time for my wife to trust me again, and the sex was crap for quite a long time, not surprisingly. Thirty years later we are still together in a mutually enriching relationship, which I expect to last until one of us passes away. A fantasy sex life can be stimulating, and can be used to enrich sex with one's partner. Even sexual flirtation online through sites such as Lush is OK as long as you don't overstep the mark and mistake fantasy for reality.
This all sounds a bit tough, but along life's journey we all have to take tough decisions, even if they are painful to start with. Take this from me as one who has experienced the end to a painful affair. Over thirty years ago when my children were still at primary school, I fell in love with another woman, who was a work colleague. She was married, she said unsatisfactorily, but who knows the truth. I was open with my wife about what was going on - perhaps it would have been better to have lied. The sex was fantastic, as it often is when two experienced people come together, but the affair caused my wife great pain, and she had to seek treatment for depression, and it almost led to the breakup of my marriage. We only stopped because my mistress's husband more or less caught us in flagrante and threatened to kill me. Later that week he followed me when I was taking my children to school, and that made me realise that the threat of at least serious injury might be real. The shock led to the abrupt end of the affair, we went away fro a couple of weeks, and started rebuilding our marriage - although it took a long time for my wife to trust me again, and the sex was crap for quite a long time, not surprisingly. Thirty years later we are still together in a mutually enriching relationship, which I expect to last until one of us passes away. A fantasy sex life can be stimulating, and can be used to enrich sex with one's partner. Even sexual flirtation online through sites such as Lush is OK as long as you don't overstep the mark and mistake fantasy for reality.
Lurker
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I agree with everything that has been said. You are just a bit on the side I'm afraid, and he will not leave his wife for you for all kinds of reasons other than sex. Find yourself a compatible single man, and choose for more thansexual reasons - good sex can be learned, as long as there is the willingness to do so, and it is great to learn together with someone you love. Illicit sex is exciting, but in the end not as mutually enriching as sex within a stable loving relationship. You might ask what is missing in his marriage, and might it not be better for him to seek an answer to that, through therapy of counselling if necessary. One thing is certain - you are not the right answer, and you will end up getting terribly hurt.
This all sounds a bit tough, but along life's journey we all have to take tough decisions, even if they are painful to start with. Take this from me as one who has experienced the end to a painful affair. Over thirty years ago when my children were still at primary school, I fell in love with another woman, who was a work colleague. She was married, she said unsatisfactorily, but who knows the truth. I was open with my wife about what was going on - perhaps it would have been better to have lied. The sex was fantastic, as it often is when two experienced people come together, but the affair caused my wife great pain, and she had to seek treatment for depression, and it almost led to the breakup of my marriage. We only stopped because my mistress's husband more or less caught us in flagrante and threatened to kill me. Later that week he followed me when I was taking my children to school, and that made me realise that the threat of at least serious injury might be real. The shock led to the abrupt end of the affair, we went away fro a couple of weeks, and started rebuilding our marriage - although it took a long time for my wife to trust me again, and the sex was crap for quite a long time, not surprisingly. Thirty years later we are still together in a mutually enriching relationship, which I expect to last until one of us passes away. A fantasy sex life can be stimulating, and can be used to enrich sex with one's partner. Even sexual flirtation online through sites such as Lush is OK as long as you don't overstep the mark and mistake fantasy for reality.
This all sounds a bit tough, but along life's journey we all have to take tough decisions, even if they are painful to start with. Take this from me as one who has experienced the end to a painful affair. Over thirty years ago when my children were still at primary school, I fell in love with another woman, who was a work colleague. She was married, she said unsatisfactorily, but who knows the truth. I was open with my wife about what was going on - perhaps it would have been better to have lied. The sex was fantastic, as it often is when two experienced people come together, but the affair caused my wife great pain, and she had to seek treatment for depression, and it almost led to the breakup of my marriage. We only stopped because my mistress's husband more or less caught us in flagrante and threatened to kill me. Later that week he followed me when I was taking my children to school, and that made me realise that the threat of at least serious injury might be real. The shock led to the abrupt end of the affair, we went away fro a couple of weeks, and started rebuilding our marriage - although it took a long time for my wife to trust me again, and the sex was crap for quite a long time, not surprisingly. Thirty years later we are still together in a mutually enriching relationship, which I expect to last until one of us passes away. A fantasy sex life can be stimulating, and can be used to enrich sex with one's partner. Even sexual flirtation online through sites such as Lush is OK as long as you don't overstep the mark and mistake fantasy for reality.
Mazztastic
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Quote by naughtynurse
Mazza, trinket, and myself are women, but the rest are all men. 3 is hardly taking over.
Oh, I didn't even notice this was ask the guys!! Oops!
(What I said still stands though)
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by naughtynurse
Mazza, trinket, and myself are women, but the rest are all men. 3 is hardly taking over.
It was an analogy not a statistical evaluation because lord knows that I am not going to check the gender of everybody posting above me. But far be it from me to tell you how to spend your time.
“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you."
Mazztastic
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Quote by wolverine15
It was an analogy not a statistical evaluation because lord knows that I am not going to check the gender of everybody posting above me. But far be it from me to tell you how to spend your time.
In fairness, you posted on my thread in ask the gals, not that I mind, a few guys have. I only put it there to sort of wave it in the general direction of the lassies...
I like it when everyone jumps in...
Advanced Wordsmith
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Bail.... There r other guys out there....
Lurker
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He's using you, and being married he's not going to do anything else so use him the same. Enjoy the amazing sex but don't make him a priority when someone else enters your life, also don't wait for someone to come into your life..... get out there and bring them in yourself.
Active Ink Slinger
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You've already had your fun (you've said he's good!)
Bail out ... It will be you that gets hurt in the long run if you don't!
Bail out ... It will be you that gets hurt in the long run if you don't!
Story Verifier
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This is what you're doing. It's called "Beating a dead horse." and if you need explanation just ask.
Don't just leave,
RUN
away. Fast!
Listen to these people. He just goes home and screws his wife when he's done screwing you. Maybe he screws you right after he's screwed her.
You are just getting screwed in more than one way. What does it feel like when you know he's screwing his wife? If that's what you like or need, stick around because that's all you'll get out of it in the long run.
Maybe you should call her and try for a three some. You're doing it now without the possible benefit of you helping each other.
I am always a gentleman.
Big-haired Bitch
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As others have said, you've had your fun. He's married...probably with a family. It was probably all fun and spontaneous and secret sex and now that's probably dwindled. To be quite honest at this stage, he's probably bored with this affair and is already considering another.
The problem is that you've made him a priority while he's obviously made you an option.
And to be blunt, I doubt you're the only other woman.
I'm not judging you. You're consenting adults and such. But affairs are complicated things, and it's kind of one of those 'Know your place' situations. It's something you chose, so you have to deal with all the bullshit and the inadequate feelings that go along with it. You can't be having an affair with a married man with all the demands of a regular relationship. It just doesn't work that way. Because at the end of the day, he's not committed to you. He's promised that to someone else. He's done a shitty job of it, but his obligation will always be to his wife. And I promise you, you'll never come first.
The more demanding you get, the more distant he'll get. And it will just end abruptly and on his terms. Get out now while you can do so with dignity.
The problem is that you've made him a priority while he's obviously made you an option.
And to be blunt, I doubt you're the only other woman.
I'm not judging you. You're consenting adults and such. But affairs are complicated things, and it's kind of one of those 'Know your place' situations. It's something you chose, so you have to deal with all the bullshit and the inadequate feelings that go along with it. You can't be having an affair with a married man with all the demands of a regular relationship. It just doesn't work that way. Because at the end of the day, he's not committed to you. He's promised that to someone else. He's done a shitty job of it, but his obligation will always be to his wife. And I promise you, you'll never come first.
The more demanding you get, the more distant he'll get. And it will just end abruptly and on his terms. Get out now while you can do so with dignity.
░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
Chat Moderator
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I think the fact you merely are asking the question means you already know the answer, you just dont want to admit to it... I totally get the connection you feel sexually... You just have to decide if your willing to accept what he gives... I think you know you should walk away, but are finding it very hard to do... If you choose to walk, you need to cut all ties and dont look back... I hope the best for you...
characterized by intense feeling; passionate; fervent
Intensely devoted, eager, or enthusiastic; zealous
vehement; fierce burning, fiery, or hot
Intensely devoted, eager, or enthusiastic; zealous
vehement; fierce burning, fiery, or hot
Lurker
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Been there but never worth it no matter what.
You'll just drive yourself crazy.
You deserve so much more!
Good luck to you..
(((((hugss))))
You'll just drive yourself crazy.
You deserve so much more!
Good luck to you..
(((((hugss))))
Lurker
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Your life is your own, BUT the sooner you come to value YOURSELF the better off you're going to be, both now and in the future. what you are to this individual is... a sex toy. And, he's busily proving to you that it's ALL you will EVER BE to him. Learn to care about yourself to love yourself ENOUGH to say "I DESERVE BETTER than this' AND BELIEVE IT! It's a lesson we all need to learn at some point in our lives. Take this experience and learn from it; further along in life you'll either be glad you did or regret that it took you so long. I'm urging you to make the decision that's in YOUR best interests, now and in the future. As "Daddysweetheart" said above, Good luck to you.
Active Ink Slinger
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Run Forrest Run, get out as fast as you can, you deserve better. While it may have been fun, don't settle, respect yourself and find someone who respects you and have all the time for you
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two words my sweet
SELF WORTH
are you yourself not WORTH more
more than a part time thing
more than whatever slice of his pie he gives you
why give him all the benefits of say a wife... sex, listening to him yet get NONE of the PERKS
he will never leave her
unless SHE leaves him
he loves that fact that he has two women
one at home to do all his mundane things
and the fantasy girl when he needs to get off
am I being mean
just a bit
but I want YOU to get mad
but if you love him
give him a date to either tell his wife (he doesn't have to divorce her yet...he just needs to be truthful to all)
or to leave her
draw that line in the sand
stick to it..and if he doesn't meet what YOU need..yes you NEED
walk
we only accept what we let others DO to us
go for something better please
before you wake up and YEARS have gone ....by
praying you choose YOUR needs not his
hugs
SELF WORTH
are you yourself not WORTH more
more than a part time thing
more than whatever slice of his pie he gives you
why give him all the benefits of say a wife... sex, listening to him yet get NONE of the PERKS
he will never leave her
unless SHE leaves him
he loves that fact that he has two women
one at home to do all his mundane things
and the fantasy girl when he needs to get off
am I being mean
just a bit
but I want YOU to get mad
but if you love him
give him a date to either tell his wife (he doesn't have to divorce her yet...he just needs to be truthful to all)
or to leave her
draw that line in the sand
stick to it..and if he doesn't meet what YOU need..yes you NEED
walk
we only accept what we let others DO to us
go for something better please
before you wake up and YEARS have gone ....by
praying you choose YOUR needs not his
hugs
Candyman
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He's married - you're single. Think long about this. How would you feel if you were his wife and found out he was having fun with some single babe on the side?
Do your sled a favor. Dump his ass before you get really hurt. Trust me, he won't be spending the holidays with you. He already has commitments.
Do your sled a favor. Dump his ass before you get really hurt. Trust me, he won't be spending the holidays with you. He already has commitments.
"I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." Nikos Kazantzakis
Candyman
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God I hate my phone for double posting. Happy there is an edit button. Why not a delete button, too?
"I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." Nikos Kazantzakis
Prolific Writer
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The only way I would stay in a relationship like that is if the man is buying me things. I would make sure he gets me everything I want.
He is using you for sex. Use him for monetary and or things that make you happy.
I have been in relationships like that when I was single.
He won't leave his wife. He may say he will but they usually don't.
If you want more then date a single guy who will give you the love and attention that you crave. Being with a married man is very complicated.
Good luck with your decision. Stay true to yourself.
Big hugs,
He is using you for sex. Use him for monetary and or things that make you happy.
I have been in relationships like that when I was single.
He won't leave his wife. He may say he will but they usually don't.
If you want more then date a single guy who will give you the love and attention that you crave. Being with a married man is very complicated.
Good luck with your decision. Stay true to yourself.
Big hugs,
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Mysteria27
The only way I would stay in a relationship like that is if the man is buying me things. I would make sure he gets me everything I want.
He is using you for sex. Use him for monetary and or things that make you happy.
I have been in relationships like that when I was single.
He won't leave his wife. He may say he will but they usually don't.
If you want more then date a single guy who will give you the love and attention that you crave. Being with a married man is very complicated.
Good luck with your decision. Stay true to yourself.
Big hugs,
"He's your guy
When stocks are high
But beware when they start to decend
It's then that those louses
Go back to their spouses
Diamonds are a girl's best friend"
