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Can online relationships be significant or meaningful?

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Active Ink Slinger
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I've had two great relationships on here that have meant a lot to me and has lasted a long time, I feel connected and have real feelings toward these two even though I may never meet them in real life. Can online relationships really be meaningful and can someone really have a connection with someone across the web?
Advanced Wordsmith
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I'm in love with someone on this website, so yes I believe they can. We talk every night, but haven't and probably will never meet each other in real life. I still love him.
Cheeky Chick
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I’ve had two relationships here on Lush, I’ve also had relationships with others elsewhere online, and yes, simply put, you can.

If both parties are both honest, open and true to what they say, you can. I think that you never to be even more honest and true to your partner, if you date online, because it’s even harder to be with someone online than in person.

You can have a true, meaningful relationship anywhere as long as the communications between the two people are always open and honest.

Relationships aren’t easy, regardless where you have them. But, if you care and love for the other, it is worth it.
Lurker
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I agree with Poppet and lovely vamp. a meaningful relationship is definitely possible on the web. As with a traditional relationship honesty and communication is vitally important.
Lurker
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Absolutely. I've made some great relationships online.
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yes they can as long you both put in the effort. Be honest.
Empress of the Moon
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No. An online relationship has to be meaningless and tawdry to be any fun.
[url]http://[/url]
Lurker
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Most emphatically yes, until I experienced it the idea seemed laughable. What I have found here has been life altering for me.
Short Arse Brit
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Quote by jeremiahbull
Most emphatically yes, until I experienced it the idea seemed laughable. What I have found here has been life altering for me.


Honestly I completely agree, I thought it was an absolute joke until I met Hero_ and was swept off my feet, I used to laugh at people who were in online relationships, but well now I see it can work if you both put the effort in and I just changed my status, something he has wanted for months and I was reluctant to do.

I guess only time will tell if it works out Im new at this but for now I am happy.
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

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And my latest poem, The Temptation.

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Lurker
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Quote by kiera


Honestly I completely agree, I thought it was an absolute joke until I met Hero_ and was swept off my feet, I used to laugh at people who were in online relationships, but well now I see it can work if you both put the effort in and I just changed my status, something he has wanted for months and I was reluctant to do.

I guess only time will tell if it works out Im new at this but for now I am happy.


Love you so much baby xxx ♥♥♥♥ and we won x
Active Ink Slinger
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Online relationships are just as real and just as meaningful as any other. The Internet hasn't changed how two people meet. You still go through the same emotions, worries, fears and concerns. All the Internet did was make the "shopping" easier. Instead of having a handful of people in your area to choose from, now you have the whole world to choose from.

I looked all over My local area to find My girl and didn't like what I had to choose from. So I went online and that is how Me and Sugarbaby met. Yes I have a "mail-order bride" of sorts, but it has worked for us.

Whether it is a face-to-face meeting in a bar, or through an old fashioned "pen-pal club" or through one of the online meeting places like eHarmony or Match.com, it doesn't matter how tow people meet so long as they do. And when they do find each other, love can and does bloom.
Lurker
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Absolutely, although there is a downside. The most difficult aspect is coming to grips with the limitations of an online relationship.
Active Ink Slinger
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Everyone has different aspects on how online relationships affect them. From my point of view, I had never been in a chat room in my life and I'm not on Facebook, Twitter et al. However, all this changed over the past few months. I've been introduced to some great people on this site and it has been a very needful release for my current situation. Folks....you know who you are......thank you.
My Karma just ran over your Dogma
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by jeremiahbull
Most emphatically yes, until I experienced it the idea seemed laughable. What I have found here has been life altering for me.
hi Honeyman smile

We were not looking, or expecting to find such a thing as this wonderful, beautiful love... And yes, I believe it actually takes more work and patience to make it work. Both of us are very impatient and yet.. Here we are.. Still inlove .. Through the rough and the easy

I adore you baby
Lurker
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You can have a very deep and meaningful on-line relationship if you put in the effort. Honesty, openness and trust are all key ingredients to making it work as in all relationships. The deep intensity and raw emotion can make an on-line relationship very addictive and immensely enjoyable.

The downside to these is when your feelings become detrimental to your real life relationship.
Gingerbread Lover
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Nothing can substitute actually being together, able to read facial and body language, physical intimacy (of whatever nature), and simply spending time in each other's company without worrying if the other isn't talking because they're bored, not just because you're Being Quiet Together. Even webcams cannot truly bring in the dimension that being in each other's physical airspace can.

However, when words are your only communication, there is both safety and vulnerability. We are more likely to open up and be truly honest without fear of seeing rejection and condemnation in the eyes of our companion.

But we also have to work harder at the tone of our written "voice" in case it is read wrong. We must learn to question calmly where we are offended or hurt, as the fault may be in our own misunderstanding of an innocent remark. We can bare our souls a little more comfortably, in most cases, and truly learn to love the heart of each other, whether we are just friends, or something more.

But we are wide open to hurt and pain, because measured words are not always truth. Any insult can be a thousand times more hurtful if one has dared to strip one's heart of barriers, and found out that their friend/lover has been lying to them all along. This is true in real life, but just as, if not more, cutting in cyberspace. Cyberspace has its own timescale. Minutes are hours online, days are weeks. Those who have experienced it know what I mean. We can fall harder and faster online than ever we would dare in real life.

We must be cautious, slow to act and discerning. But we must also be reckless, daring and confident. I have friends and family who have found their life partners through being penpals or building online relationships. It can happen, and be wonderful. I have met some very close, wonderful friends this way, as well as some very nasty people. Just like real life.

And the amount of waffle I have just splashed across the post is why I don't chat much. Sorry.

Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
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CurlyFries
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Quote by shelley2013
I've had two great relationships on here that have meant a lot to me and has lasted a long time, I feel connected and have real feelings toward these two even though I may never meet them in real life. Can online relationships really be meaningful and can someone really have a connection with someone across the web?


Yes!

However, my most meaningful relationships and/or friendships on Lush have moved into real life and not just stayed online, although that was not a quick process.
Lurker
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Great responses folks. It always makes me shake my head when I see people act/claim that online relationships can't be meaningful or they scoff at those who form those connections... because, of course, it isn't "real" right? Being "online" is just entertainment and you can't, nor should, fall for anyone since it is not "real". Well, the heart knows no distance or medium. Sure, being able to physically touch the other person is preferred, but when your heart is touched, it is touched; period.

However, learning from personal experience, I warn how much you post openly about any relationship you may have. It can cause you to become a target for others, as well as can cause issues later on when/if that relationship ends; and how it ends. People get caught up in the euphoria of the situation, and that is understandable, but keeping things toned down on the open forums is always best IMO. Again, learned this the VERY hard way. We all make mistakes.
Active Ink Slinger
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SHYLASS wrote above: "And the amount of waffle I have just splashed across the post is why I don't chat much. Sorry. Embarassed "

My admonition to you is don't EVER feel like you need to apologize for your postings. I often find an awful lot of 'depth' and 'meaning' in your comments as well as your writing. What you have written above is very meaningful and I appreciate your considered comment to this topic.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Yes, online relationships can be significant and meaningful. As others have suggested the lack of being physically in one another's presence does present challenges to be dealt with and compensated with. THAT, in and of itself, can be a means whereby the depth and strength of the relationship grows and intensifies without the allure of being physically present being a distraction.

I thought one time I had 'lost it', but the on-line part of the relationship held fast and enabled the relationship to advance to a much better and more meaningful place. And for that, I'm eternally grateful and feel blessed. I just hope its a mutual feeling.

...and that's all I've got to say about online relationships...
Lurker
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I think any relationship online or offline is hard work. It requires intense communication and giving of yourself.
Lurker
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Only if both are sincere and honest. Unfortunately shadows lurk in the bellows of certain places. Communication is the key to most doors.
Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
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Quote by JohnC
Great responses folks. It always makes me shake my head when I see people act/claim that online relationships can't be meaningful or they scoff at those who form those connections... because, of course, it isn't "real" right? Being "online" is just entertainment and you can't, nor should, fall for anyone since it is not "real". Well, the heart knows no distance or medium. Sure, being able to physically touch the other person is preferred, but when your heart is touched, it is touched; period.

However, learning from personal experience, I warn how much you post openly about any relationship you may have. It can cause you to become a target for others, as well as can cause issues later on when/if that relationship ends; and how it ends. People get caught up in the euphoria of the situation, and that is understandable, but keeping things toned down on the open forums is always best IMO. Again, learned this the VERY hard way. We all make mistakes.


JohnC speaks and shares some very good advice. Particularly the bolded above. As many here have experience a lush-crush or lush-relationship ending ..... nothing worse than seeing a seething person post tantrums and drama in the forum for all to see. Then .... the cycle starts again, because in lush (or other online sites) there's always another one, or two, to hook up with. I actually laugh when I see the "in relationship with ____" change regularly or quickly after the love of their life goes.

And .... I agree that the heart knows no distance or medium or age .... the saying, "seduce my mind and my body (heart) will follow" is indeed true - just ask all those here who have experienced it!
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Yes, I do. Although, it is very hard. You really gotta work through it. If you don't have one, I say try to avoid them. Yes, this is speaking from experience.
Active Ink Slinger
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it is nothing impossible, but it is difficult and toughest to maintain the bond. Because it leads to lot of misunderstandings or clashes, I guess its better to avoid them. But it could be success for some you know
Active Ink Slinger
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Yes I believe so.

Like any relationship. put the effort in and reap the rewards. be honest and upfront, always and ensure emotions are shared to ensure both people are on the same page.
Active Ink Slinger
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They sure can be meaningful and can lead to something more permanent i.e. marriage, as happened with my wife and I. We met on-line and were friends and lovers on here for years before we met in real life. Having the close connection before we ever met made it more real when we did. We are very happily married now. Couldn't have ever met my soulmate without the net.
Raised on Blackroot
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Sure they can.

I wouldn't necessarily say it is your best option, but I suppose that can be applied to relations of all sorts.

The thing with online relationships is the "unknown factor." Until you meet face to face, you really don't know what the person is like. Online personas can be GREATLY different from the persona they carry in their day to day life. You'll never know the other person until you interact with them in person on a daily basis. You just can't. Hence why many end in disaster. A bunch of sick fucks out there who prey on folks and put up a sweet loving front, only to tear you or others down later. And they do it for fun.

They you can get the ones who takes things way too seriously for it being online, especially if there is a large distance barrier.

Call me what you like (I prefer cynic, product of being a journalist) but I find the "love knows no distance" to be utter bullshit. Unless it is an established relationship beforehand, it just doesn't work, as long distance relationships tend not to work anyway. As with anything, there are outliers, but they are few and far between.

Love to me needs some form of proximity to work. Words cannot replace intimate touches, spontaneous laughter, a hug, kiss, hand hold, etc. Online can seem a bit too sterile for my tastes.

That said, I'm sure they can and have worked out. Like all relationships, it requires work. And trust. Tons more trust than your average relationship as the unknown is far greater. As are the risks.

You can cut off contact completely with the flick of a switch (i.e. deleted account). It is harder to do if you know the person in real life and see them often.

Then you get the super creepers...The creepy jealous types. Yea, it's like dealing with bloody children. I've already experienced it once because of some wacked out nut job on here. Unpleasant.

--------

At any rate. To each their own. If you wanna put yourself out there in an online community, be my guess.

It isn't really my cup of tea though. Not to say that it can't or won't happen to me, I'm not that stupid. Anything can and will happen. I just don't see it happening. It'd have to take someone really special to cross that line in the sand.
Head Nurse
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I've enjoy a number of relationships online that run the gauntlet from good friend, to lover. I've meet a few in real life(a couple from here, a few from different-non sexual- sources) Some were exactly like there online persona, the ones I had the most successful relationship with, and a few were completely different. The reality is that you can feel attachment for and care for someone's online persona, but that doesn't make them that person. so nothing beats meeting face to face. That said, it's no different then meeting someone at work, a bar, or any where else. either way you still have to learn the person, discover if you really understand them.
Lurker
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I think it is best to keep it just as friends when it comes to these sites. I fell head over heals for two guys in another site and I am the one who got hurt by it.
Lurker
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I keep reiterating...common sense and logic. Anything is possible, but first you have to understand what you are dealing with. Remember the duck thing. If it walks and talks like a duck, it probably is. The truth is...there are men out there who are basically up to deceit. "Happily" married men don't play. REMEMBER, I said happily. The web is full of drunks and men with no thought for anything but to lie and get attention. Sure! There are some good people do bad things. All one has to do is Google and read about on-line chat rooms. It's not a pretty story. However, if you meet the right person...then its a success. Don't think with emotion, use your brain.