I think you're being a little sexist. Guys can have all the same hang-ups and sexual insecurities that women do.
We get nervous, anxious, and self-conscious. Some things are easy to say, but when it comes down to it, it can be terrifying for some guys.
I would imagine your attitude to the situation doesn't help him much. Cut the guy some slack.
Then the question is, is he still that same person? Marriage woman skirt chaser and all that jazz?
Hell, how long ago is "past?" Maybe he enjoys talking the talk, but no longer doing the deed. Maybe he actually developed feelings for you outside of the occasional roll in the hay.
Clearly you've been coming on strong for quite some time now. Your only option it to either give up or point blank ask him if he's interested.
Well if you have known him a long time, have been with him in the past, and you know he used to like getting with married women, I would say you need to pin him down. Ask him if he keeps canceling because you are married. Since you were out of touch maybe that changed for him. If the problem is not your being married, ask what the problem is since there obviously is one. Tell him its time to put up or shut up if he says there is not a problem or be prepared to walk away.
Sex is emotion in motion.
Mae West
It's probably not a guy or girl thing; we are all people and have various reasons to back out. On the other hand, I can see guys typically jumping at the opportunity, so I see where you are coming from.
That being said, I was stood up by a girl who was after me for a while... The only thing you can do is move on and try again.
Is it possible that he is feeling guilty (as you're still married) when the actuality arises, maybe he only ever intended it to be a fantasy and is scared of getting involved in what could be a messy situation?
Or maybe he's like a dog that finally caught the car he's been chasing...doesn't really know what to do with it.
Sorry...I've been watching the Dark Knight.
░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
Something else to add. Not knowing what happened 7 yrs ago when you guys split up, but he could have fallen for you and doesn't want to get hurt again. Talking to you now may fill a void but that's as far as he's prepared to go.
Well I see this (and I read all the responses and thought through this carefully) . . . I hope this doesn't offend.
But if he really likes you: he might not want to be your fall-back guy. . . the 2nd helping . . . the afterthought . . . the underhanded pleasure . . . the dog under the table begging for scraps.
I was the 2nd hand in a relationship and it made me feel like shit about myself - I was good enough to fuck but not good enough to BE with? I really loathed myself for being in that position . . . it was quick and fun when feelings were in the way.
Quick and fun is quick and fun
A 7+ year potential relationship being put on the burner because you're married is a whole other story - that is not quick and that is not fun.
Decide what you want - talk to him about what he wants - talk to your husband, too . . . maybe it's time to reassess your marriage?
Seems to me like no one in your neck of the woods is happy at all. Maybe if you talk to people about things you can work it all out for the better?
Maybe he has other things on his mind: like not wanting to wreck your marriage if you have no intention of divorcing? Having kids - maybe he doesn't want to ruin things for them? Maybe the idea is frightening and he doesn't want to get his ass beat? (That's what one of my exes did . . . put a guy in the hospital when he *thought* I was sleeping around - and I wasn't)
A lot comes with it when feelings - strong, deep feelings - surface.
Have you ever thought that he might be scared that your Hubby might find out? Try talking things over with him.
Dear Jessica,
Don't worry about it, I live the "Hotwife" lifestlye, (one sided swinging, my husband stays home). I get literally hundreds of proposals from guys wanting to go out, about HALF of therm are pure BS when it comes time to put up or shut up. They are either wankers , frightened, or just plain scared.
Of course, there are also those who will meet you and rock your world...
Don't take it personally, it's the guys who are losing out by not meeting you.
Bobbi jo
"When its too kinky for everybody else, its just gettin' good for me."
(Kinky Freedman)
There could be many reasons for this. First thing I think of is maybe he is just a plain old fashioned good guy down deep, and respects the fact you are married. The second thing that comes to mind is the possibility of some self-confidence problems. Neither of these two possibilities have anything to do with you as a person.
It could be that he enjoys the intellectual stimulation that comes with flirting but doesn't want to take it to a physical level (for whatever reason). It's kinda like a dog barking at trucks driving down the street; he doesn't really want to catch one but loves making the chase.
I can’t think of a good tagline so this will have to do. Suggest a better one for me?
Hard to believe NO ONE has hit upon the fact that the guy may have a medical issue he is afraid to own up to.
<3<3
. 
I talked to him, he says it's all just bad timing, not sure if I believe that but I'll take it for now. If things don't change, moving on will be the best option, I'm done investing time and everything else it takes to see him or not see him. Just doesn't make sense I am 100% sure there is nothing emotional from his ended and yet when I've moved on in the past he was upset and jealous... Ughhh
