To me a gentleman is one who considers other peoples feelings, whose word is his bond and who is polite to all without being sycophantic.
Sincere, courteous, man of his word
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there is always a choice - make it a conscious one
It appears all the gentlemen are on here and not in the real world! Or at least none near where I am, causing ladies to have a generally bad disposition towards men. *sigh* The world we live in.
Keep em coming!
A gentleman, huh? Do those even exist anymore?
I suppose my definition of a gentleman would be someone who's courteous, attentive, honest, loyal, and sincere. Bonus if he's a romantic at heart (double bonus if he's not, but tries to be anyway). I don't need some guy to open doors for me and pay for every outing we have-- I can do all that by myself, thanks. I just want a guy who knows how to listen and pay attention and who tries to do the right thing (even if he sometimes gets it wrong). Someone who's willing to be open and who genuinely cares about me AND our relationship. A guy who doesn't lie or cheat or manipulate, and who'll always respect me, even if I suggest we try freaky stuff in the bedroom.
That's a real gentleman in my eyes. =p
It's great to get some feedback on it all.
I asked simply so I could see what the modern day gentleman should adhere to without seeming, as put by dancing doll, as smothering. Gone are the days where a large sword, although arguments can be made it is simply called something else now, and a suit of shiny armor would sway a lady into your arms. Got to say though in the list diamond supplied the biggest thing that confused me was "No.31 Call her babe". There was me thinking it objectified women and made you seem stereotypical macho man.
Then again, at my inexperienced age, what do I know?
somebody who treats you as an equal, not better, not worse; someone who respects you and respects themself, and expects the same from you. it's really that simple. the other bits, the window dressing, are all a result of those basic tenants.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
There is one thing I don't understand after that forum post of great detail and truth that simply radiated a man of honor... How is yourmisterdark single?
I will echo many of the things people have listed on here but the one thing I did not see is good old-fashioned chivalry. Seriously. Having returned to the world of dating after being away for a while, I am amazed at how much it has changed including and especially how men treat women. Perhaps my age is really showing now but I remember a time when being a gentleman included such things like opening doors, letting a woman walk into a room first or letting her order first at a restaurant etc.,
I know, I know there will be some of you (especially the young women) who will go absolutely ape-shit reading that saying they don't NEED a man to do those things for them, that they can do all those for themselves...Of course we can! It's not about being helpless.
I consider myself to be a feminist and am NO prima donna. I have always made my own money and have no issues with asking men out on dates or even paying. I have my own opinions and am not afraid to express them. And I've also tirelessly advocated for women's rights both here and abroad over the years but when it comes to dating and relationships, I guess I'm still a bit old-fashioned. I enjoy being treated like a lady. It's the little things that men do that set's them a part from the rest. I think being chivalrous is that little edge.
The replies are most interesting and certainly serve to separate the alleged "classes" of society.
@ Belle du jour: Chivalry was included in my comments about courtly love in which it traces its roots and is often exemplified by the famous story of the nobleman's cloak laid across a mud puddle so that Queen Elizabeth 1st would not soil her slippers. There are still a few remnants to be seen in society but, as you say, they are sadly rare and, I suspect, certainly not among the ilk of "Felix" and his crowd.
@the fellow from the UK who commented. MrDark was once not single,but is now by choice. Finding a Lady today is almost more rare than finding a gentleman.
@Felix. Considering your commentary, the less said to and about you, the better, I believe.
Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
Interesting thread.
I have found that a true gentlemen does not have to advertise that they are respectful, nor do they need to implore they have manners.
True gentlemen are found in all walks of life, all ages, any profession and any status. They wear jeans, or board shorts, some wear suits, others wear uniforms. It's not how a man looks, but how a man treat another person .... regardless of gender or age or status. A true gentleman in my books has compassion, empathy and a sense of his own worth (not selfish, nor conceited, nor arrogant) that he wants to share with you and others.
To be honorable. To do those things you've said or implied you would. To not do those things that you know you should not. To act in a way that will not shame you or bring shame on others.
To know the limits of those you love, and when the time is right, push them to the edge but no farther. To be able to like the man you see in the mirror. To be a man others can trust, and be sure they can predict how you will react when they treat you well or treat you badly.
To be there when needed, and to be gone when your presence is against the greater good. To leave others with nothing bad to say about your affect on their life. To have your word be of value.
Be a man who fears to wrong others, and others fear to wrong.