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How to lose your job... ABC style

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List alphabetically ways to lose your job.

A-
Abruptly start yelling at your customers when your boss is passing by.
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B -

Botch up painting of a room, by knocking the paint can over on the carpet flooring, you were going to same time and did not install the protective drop cloth.
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C-

Catching the the CEO in the bathroom and blackmailing him and drive so him so mentally crazy insane
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damn stupidly - taking a crap on your manager's desk, with them there, in front of the rest of the office and getting caught on cctv.
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Emerging from the bathroom with the bosses son/ daughter adjusting his/her clothes
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Fire-starter: start a fire in the break room.

(Would say "Fuck the boss's kid, but Choosiemama beat me to it.)
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Great white shark - bring your pet shark into work, set it on the boss.
Cheeky Chick
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H - Hire a Hooker for everyone during the work hours.
Big-haired Bitch
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Insert your penis in your boss's daughter...or son.

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░


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(This one doesn't count if you're a hooker.)

Jerk off during work: often, and enough to hurt your productivity.
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K- bring in Kangaroos and have bounce of the walls
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Leave early to fuck bosses wife/husband
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massage your manhood/mammaries until orgasm reached.......whilst having your annual evaluation with the senior management team
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N - Nibble your boss's nipples/nuts. pick one.
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Dress like a slut
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Quote by vjlegbabe
Dress like a slut


pity its not an abc reply, but dressing like a slut is more likely to get you a job!!

Quote by trinket
N - Nibble your boss's nipples/nuts. pick one.


O - openly set up your own rival company whilst still working for your current employer
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Pass out perverse photos of the bosses provocative partner pounding petrified poles.... smile
characterized by intense feeling; passionate; fervent

Intensely devoted, eager, or enthusiastic; zealous

vehement; fierce burning, fiery, or hot
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quickie sex with every one else in the office except your manager
Cheeky Chick
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R - Rim your boss's wife on his desk
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S - Sperm: jizz in the boss's morning coffee
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T- throw the trash everywhere and set the teletubbies to destroy the work place
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Undress and do the willy snake dance.... lol
characterized by intense feeling; passionate; fervent

Intensely devoted, eager, or enthusiastic; zealous

vehement; fierce burning, fiery, or hot
Constant Gardener
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Vanish during the middle of an important meeting after sending a CC: email to every single person in the corporation, where you address the HR manager and instruct her or him that you'll vanquish every single vermin in the company unless you receive your yearly bonus. Make sure you bullet point all the office affairs, ass kissers and their deeds, backstabbing cocksuckers and social climbers and as many conspiracies as you can remember or invent.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
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W -- Wank over you desk, your boss's desk, everyones desk, then scream bloody murder and run around like a fucking lunatic
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Xylophone - Play one really loudly during important meetings and when challenged about it, play dumb, stop for a bit and then play again, louder than before.
Cheeky Chick
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Attack the boss, tie him to the chair as you fuck his wife, forcing him to watch.....
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break every company rule in the same day
Constant Gardener
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Close the elevator doors after you jump on, next to the CEO and CIO, then press the alarm button to stop lift. Let loose with a cacophony of anal blurtings from previous evenings burrito and tequila festival.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
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Dance naked through the office all day long