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boyfriend wants more.

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Rookie Scribe
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I think my boyfriend wants me to be more of a slut and I'm not sure how to go about doing this. Hes always looking at skimpy-clad women online and in front of me. Not sexually really, just to look.
I want to make him happy so I want to get more comfortable with my inner slut but I'm not sure how to do that. I really mean "inner slut" with my style and personality. I'm already a big flirt and neither of us would be comfortable sleeping with other people. Tried that. How can I be more appealing to him but remain dignified?

Any suggestions?
Her Royal Spriteness
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my suggestion: wait for Dancing Doll's response and then follow her advice to the letter. smile not being funny here, i'm serious! that girl knows how to balance slut with dignity like nobody's business, and she know's how to articulate it into words far better than i can. :)

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Orgasm Aficionado
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Quote by naked_journey
I think my boyfriend wants me to be more of a slut and I'm not sure how to go about doing this. Hes always looking at skimpy-clad women online and in front of me. Not sexually really, just to look.
I want to make him happy so I want to get more comfortable with my inner slut but I'm not sure how to do that. I really mean "inner slut" with my style and personality. I'm already a big flirt and neither of us would be comfortable sleeping with other people. Tried that. How can I be more appealing to him but remain dignified?

Any suggestions?


Your boyfriend is an immature prick who doesn't deserve you. He is making you feel insecure by looking at other women - which is making you compare yourself to their appearance. A relationship is based on more than looks alone.

You want to make him happy? Great. But he needs to make you happy too. Connecting with your inner slut should be about you, not him.

Never, ever set out to change who you are (style and personality) to please someone else. It won't work and will make you unhappy.

People mould together within the comfort of a good relationship - you kind of knock the edges off each other - but it's something that just happens.

My advice to you - talk to him. Tell him how his behaviour is making you feel. If he doesn't change, you need to dump him and find someone who wants you.
Scarlet Seductress
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Quote by sprite
my suggestion: wait for Dancing Doll's response and then follow her advice to the letter. smile not being funny here, i'm serious! that girl knows how to balance slut with dignity like nobody's business, and she know's how to articulate it into words far better than i can. :)


When I see one of these threads, I find myself automatically scrolling down looking for DD's post lol.

Quote by AbigailThornton


Your boyfriend is an immature prick who doesn't deserve you. He is making you feel insecure by looking at other women - which is making you compare yourself to their appearance. A relationship is based on more than looks alone.

You want to make him happy? Great. But he needs to make you happy too. Connecting with your inner slut should be about you, not him.

Never, ever set out to change who you are (style and personality) to please someone else. It won't work and will make you unhappy.

People mould together within the comfort of a good relationship - you kind of knock the edges off each other - but it's something that just happens.

My advice to you - talk to him. Tell him how his behaviour is making you feel. If he doesn't change, you need to dump him and find someone who wants you.


Damn good post. Agony Abi is in the house.
Lurker
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Please, I beg, remain dignified. If your boyfriend wants to be more adventurous and you do too then great. But don't do anything you're not comfortable with, try new things but don't become someone you don't like. If he doesn't appreciate you now then he doesn't deserve you. Looking at skimpy girls right under your nose is just rude. I'll admit, it's very hard to avert my eyes from a skimpy girl, even when I'm with a girlfriend (damn testosterone!), but going looking for it is just not on.

Personally, I like girls that are dignified in public but only show their full sexual nature to me in private; it makes me feel like I'm getting to know a part of her that no-one else knows. Give him something to look at in the bedroom, but don't dress like a slut in public, especially if you don't want to.

At the very least, talk to him, like Abi suggested. Take it from me, us guys are idiots when it comes to picking up on what you ladies are feeling, so just tell him what you think and how you feel, and ask him why he wants to look at other girls when you're right there for him. Keeping an open line of communication is key to making a relationship work. However if he wants to change you into someone you don't want to be, dump the bastard.
Alpha Blonde
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This is a difficult one to answer, because you used the words "I think my boyfriend wants me to be more of a slut" and I'm not sure if you're basing this solely on him looking at slutty looking girls, because in all honesty - most guys (and even a lot of women) will have their eyes drawn to provocatively dressed girl. Looking and/or noticing doesn't necessarily mean that he wants you to act or dress like that though.

If, however, he's told you he'd like to see you get in touch with your 'inner slut' and you want to keep things monogamous, then really all this boils down to is role play.

Basically this is covered by three main areas: outfit, dirty talk, and assertiveness.

1. Outfit
I don't know what your go-to sex outfit consists of at the moment but if you're mostly a lacey lingerie and sophisticated silks kind of girl, then to get the slutty-girl look, you probably need to 'dumb it down' for lack of a better word. Again - this will depend on personal taste because versions of slutty looks vary widely, but it probably involves a bit of a cheaper look. Think Britney Spears in her prime. Maybe ultra short skirts or 'skirtinis' or tight super-low rise jeans or shorts, crop tops, tight tanks, shiny/strappy things. The options are really all over the map so you might want to just pick something you like as a surprise (to start with) or shop together for new outfits. Check out online stores like wickedtemptations.com or even some lines on Fredericks of Hollywood might work. Or you can just create something yourself - especially if you're thinking of dressing like this in public. Pretty much if you keep it tight and/or skimpy, it should fit the bill. Obviously make sure you're comfortable with whatever you're wearing though. If you're not comfortable or feeling sexy then it will affect points #2 and #3.

2. Dirty Talk
I'm guessing he wants something girly, submissive and hyper-sexual here. Dirty talk should feel natural but really you can drill it down to creative breathless ways to do 1. ego-stroking and 2. telling him what you want. The latter is part of point #3, but really a lot of guys just want a girl to tell them explicitly what they want, how they want it and why they want him (specifically) to give it to them. I use a lot of dirty talk in many of my stories and in general I would suggest reading erotica to maybe pick up tips of verbiage you can use if you're not already a dirty-talker type. If you want to get advanced with it, you can also role-play various 'slutty' scenarios while still keeping things monogamous. For example, he can come home and maybe you're waiting for him in a hot little outfit and then pin him down on the bed and tell him all about this fictitious slutty afternoon you had where you fucked a couple of guys in a bar bathroom or started rubbing yourself under your skirt while you had a bit of a public audience - or whatever... be creative. Keeping it mind it's fictitious so you're the storyteller here but if you like the 'idea' of playing with others while still staying monogamous - shared fantasies are really the way to go. Again - if dirty talk isn't your forte, read some erotica to get ideas or talk to your boyfriend about what your mutual fantasies are.

3. Initiating sex and being more assertive
Showing off your inner 'slutty girl' really just means a girl who is extremely comfortable with her sexuality. Some guys say they want a girl to be more slutty because they want the girl to take the reigns of control in a way and not wait for the guy to do all the seducing and initiating of sex, position changes etc. Maybe you want to try a bit of public teasing, a BJ or handjob in the car when you're out, walking out in front of him while he's bored and watching tv dressed in a slutty outfit and sitting and grinding on his lap and telling him all the dirty things you want him to do to you. The reason guys often look at the 'skimpy dressed or slutty girls' is that they give the illusion of being free and confident in their sexuality. That might be all he wants from you so if you find you're usually the type to let him initiate sex or control the pace, maybe switch things up and surprise him. Maybe try exploring some sexual areas that you haven't already gotten into. Again - erotica is your friend here when it comes to research. For example, I have a great 'how to' guide with a lollipop in my latest story. smile

Lastly - as others have said - don't do stuff you're not comfortable with, but since you said you're both happily monogamous then really this isn't about losing 'dignity'... it's just about consensual role-playing within a relationship. If you're typically a lace panties and scented candles kind of girl, it could be that he just wants to try something a little dirtier and wants to see you more uninhibited/raw in your sexuality. Nothing wrong with that if you're willing to explore. Have fun!
Rookie Scribe
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Thanks Dancing_Doll. That was what I was looking for. I don't want to change and he doesn't want me to either I just want to do more things to make him happy.
Dirty talk is something we need to work up to as hes kinda shy there but hes coming around.
But again that was very helpful and I loved the story you wrote with the lollypop ;) Thank you.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by naked_journey
I think my boyfriend wants me to be more of a slut and I'm not sure how to go about doing this. Hes always looking at skimpy-clad women online and in front of me. Not sexually really, just to look.
I want to make him happy so I want to get more comfortable with my inner slut but I'm not sure how to do that. I really mean "inner slut" with my style and personality. I'm already a big flirt and neither of us would be comfortable sleeping with other people. Tried that. How can I be more appealing to him but remain dignified?

Any suggestions?


You don't have to look or act like a slut per se. You can dress up, look sexy and still dignified. It's important that you ask your boyfriend whether he wanted you to wear skimpy clothings and not just assume based from what you see him do in front of you. Communication is a must!
Active Ink Slinger
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I have a question ---- does he want that from you in private settings or out and about?