Currently we have threads for men and women, as well as one for BDSM lifestyles. My thought is that maybe its time for a bisexual/gay category.
I've been pretty open about my own bisexuality, and I know there are a few other guys here who share such desires. There are also a number of bi or gay women on the site who might also be willing to share some insights of the lifestyle in a dedicated thread. In general, it might at least make some interesting reading!
Ive seen a few threads appear withing the ask the guys or gals, but nothing dedicated for them specifically. How would the membership on the whole view such a category?
I think it's a good idea. It's only fair to include them with their own category.
You seem sweet, mind if I lick you to make sure?
I see both sides of this.... but if I may... there is a BSDM section probably because that is a particular fetish and even lifestyle that is not dependent on sexual orientation.. and it is quite a bit out of the norm. There are homosexuals and bisexuals who participate in that as well, it is not simply a heterosexual "thing".
We see plenty of homosexual or bisexual based questions in the 'ask the guys/gals' sections. And from what I understand, homosexuals pretty much do the same things heterosexuals to, but their chosen partners are just different (or should I say, the same? lol). It is not a specific fetish or general lifestyle difference, it is an orientation distinction.
I have no problem with homosexuality or bisexuality. What does tend to bother me a bit though, is when I always here "we are just like everyone else and want to be treated the same" and then out the other side of the mouth we hear "give me a special title, special day, special t-shirts, special bumper stickers, special treatment, recognize and acknowledge my being different, etc." Hey, either we are all the same, or we are not. Either we want to be treated the same, or we don't. Now please, I will not get into a "gay rights" debate or even discussion.... that is NOT what I am talking about. ;)
So I guess I don't care one way or the other if there was a special section on the forums for homosexuals or bisexuals.... I just don't see the "need" for it.
i got a HUGE problem with you assuming we are phobic about sexuality just because we might NOT see the reason ..for this...
sex is sex whether you do it with a girl or a guy
sex is sex...
you will have the same issues as straight as with GLBT....THE act itself is sex...lust..love... domination..same no matter whom you do it with
please please dont EQUATE a thread on here with MLK holiday..that is so bad i am shaking with outrage on that
if you feel you are being discriminated here on lush well that is another story...and for a minute.. i considered it ..and thought hmm ..maybe... until you automatically
went that anyone that said no was a RACIST?? or discrimanatory towards gay people??really????
but to me ...I HAVE NEVER EVER met more open minded people in my life..than HERE ON LUSH!
they answer ALL questions with hearts and minds wide open
as little bambi said so well we are ALL the same...why make a divide
if you want an answer to a sexual issues it makes NO difference what SEX your partner is
and as i have said it before having a lesbian sister ...i know i am very much NOT phobic about issues concerning same sex AT ALL!
wow...wow....
Ok, once again I see BOTH sides, and frankly it was (in my eyes) presented, and then "justified" in a way that presented the idea that if you didn't AGREE, you were in fact being just like every other "discriminating" thing out there. It was presented in a way that if you didn't agree, you were somehow not as open minded or tolerant as others. That if you didn't agree you were somehow trying to PREVENT someone from doing something or having their own "special group"... whether they need one or not.
This was IMO a loaded question, by virtue of the responses to non-agreement, as well as how it was defended. Being open minded and respecting other views is not a one way street.
There is NO reason why a gay person can't answer a question about blowjobs that was asked in the "ask the gals" section. Heck, I have seen those answered by gays and bisexual folks on a regular basis.... no matter WHAT section the question or topic was asked in. So to think, or even claim that the forums are not open to everyone is far from being accurate. And if a gay or bisexual person feels out of place, it MUST be because of THEMSELVES and not anything anyone else has done, because I have seen every point of view, and sexual bend, posted about VERY openly and met with positive responses.
But I guess in short, if someone does not want to actually SEE what others think about any given issue, idea, or topic... don't ASK in the first place. And if you DO, please respect that others may not agree with you on all things. And myself, as well as others, just think that sexual preference isn't enough to create a special section for. Less so when it is quite obvious that they already participate in all other forum sections equally... and without hesitation (for the most part it would seem). This is not about exclusion at all, but INCLUSION. If someone who is gay feels uncomfortable with their sexuality, or in participating in general discussions, that is on THEM, not on the group that has openly welcomed and accepted them... in full INCLUSION.
John, first thank you for giving a reasoned response.
In answer, I am surprised that no effort has been made to consider the value that such a board would have. It seems logical to me that a more specific board would induce more specific content. I certainly don't see how it could be offensive, or cause cost or pain to any others?
The center of the statement against seem to be that I and others should feel perfectly okay in assuming that a straight man who is asking women about their sexual practices would welcome my response? I've been here for over three years and I can say that it doesn't always work that way. I'm very sorry if you don't see it, but just because you don't doesn't mean it isn't there.
Seriously, rather than lambasting me over my comfort zone and saying its my problem, wouldn't it be more constructive to attempt to find out more? Are you that sure as a straight man you can put yourself in my shoes?
I pointed out the fact that minorities are often given such 'benefits' not to insult, but to show a precedent. Precedents like this are commonly used as counter arguments to show the one requesting is not asking for something out of hand or historically unfair.
You've prefaced your statements with how open minded you are but you base your arguments on 'why should we get special treatment' Is it possible that this is more about sharing in a directed environment than it is about getting something special?
As I said earlier, I'm astonished that this has drawn such fire. The level of resistance is much stronger then seems warrented and despite what may be thought, I'm not a confrontational person. This idea is clearly unwelcome, so I'll pursue it no farther.
Thank you. And with all due respect, maybe folks HAVE given effort to consider the value, but don't believe that it is what you think it is? This type of discussion takes place on all types of forums, and sometimes what one person or a minority of people think is so "value" to the forum as a whole is not what the majority thinks it is. But that same way of thinking could be applied to any and all other sub categories or interests within a general group.... so why not simply make all sorts of sub-sections? Well, in truth, it can become counter productive to the group as a whole since discussions that all would normally see are now segmented and secluded from the rest. That, in point of fact, harms the forum in general.
Also, I don't think anyone, to include myself, has lambasted you. Because you may not like the frankness of the response (and I do try to use as much tact as I can without losing honesty) does not mean you were lambasted. And yes, as a bi-curious man I can put myself in anyone shoes when I try to think logically about things. But again, everyone in every type of group does not agree on ALL issues or things. So for me that is simply moot.
Further more, you don't SHARE by exclusion. You don't SHARE by getting something special.
As for how much fire this has gotten.... once again, it is not because of the question asked or even the topic. It is about it appearing that only your views have merit or were given any real consideration. That is a faulty argument and statement at best. Many times people of equal caring, intelligence, education, and tolerance can take the same information and/or idea, and come to different conclusions. And where we each draw the lines on any given issue is often quite different. What I find distasteful however, is when met with a difference in view or opinion, one party falls back on the idea that the other is somehow being mean to them, intolerant, or didn't truly give it enough thought... because SURELY if they did, they would OF COURSE agree with me. ;)
Milik, could you give some examples of the types of threads you would like to see in such a forum? I don't think it's a bad idea but, evidently, you're going to have to make one hell of a case for it.
I think a place for homosexual-specific topics could be quite useful and widely used. I don't think it's fair to say it's a way of segregating people—there wouldn't be restrictions on who can visit what forums depending on their sexuality. It's not about the people, it's about the content. It's quite likely that there are things that homosexuals would like to discuss but which many heterosexuals would have no interest in.
The 'Ask The...' forums are some of the most popular and things can get lost in the midst. Having a go-to place for the kinds of topics you're looking for, i.e., homosexual-specific topics, could be very helpful for a number of members.
Also, targeting a forum at a group of people with potentially similar experiences in life could encourage members to ask questions and discuss topics they might have felt uncomfortable airing to a much broader audience.
Rembacher, to answer your question. I referenced women for two reasons. The first. Is that I'm bisexual and women are as important to me as men. The second is that I feel more accepted when answering from a straight point do view. There have been at least a couple of times that my referring to homosexuality on a thread has led to several guys feeling the need to state their 'straightness' before adding to the conversation, and that kind of thing is very uncomfortable to me.
Clum, to me it would be a place where the assumption was that the answers would be from a homosexual point of view. Others would be welcome, but someone like me wouldn't have to qualify my answers each time I posted, and perhaps specific question about our desires and experiences would develope.
As far as having to make a hell of a case for it, that is apparently so, though why it would be still eludes me. I would have thought that the number of gay and lesbian members, the interest in such judged by the number of gay male stories and the number of such posts in other threads would have indicated a desire and acceptance for such a category. To be honest, the resistance to it caught me by surprise.
Truthfully, I really didn't think I would have to prove a need. I really thought it would just have been something that nobody felt a need to deny.
I find that the Ask the Guys/Gals sections are enough to handle straight and gay/lesbian questions/comments. Of the dozens of "do you like blowjobs" question, the answer can just as easily come from a gay man as a straight one. Also, I think comparing the BDSM section to a Gay section is an apples to oranges debate. Gay people can engage in BDSM too.
There are plenty questions that are Gay specific questions in the forums, no reason more can't be added. Within the already existing sections.
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates Lol, well I tip my hat to you John. You have an amazing ability to tip an argument on its side. I started with a innocent attempt to add something I felt would be of value, and you managed to completely derail the thread.
Yes, I admit that I felt it needed because I felt disenfranchised and I assumed that others in my situation felt the same. I also felt that lush of all places would understand this. I was wrong. If you and the other posters are a true sampling, and it seems you are, then I have misjudged this badly.
You say you are not reacting with hostility, but it certainly felt that way to me. The laugh and the famous Ronald Reagan quote ending in caps certainly felt like derision, but you say it wasn't so fine, I accept that.
You object to the term gay community. Well that's what it's called. Sorry, but even if I chose not to use it, you will still have to hear it from time to time.
So congatulations, you win. The thread will likely never get seen. Your lock on the status quo is safe from me. I apologize for daring to think I had something constructive to offer.
This has been an eye opening experience. I can't say I'm happy, but perhaps I shouldn't be as surprised as I am
In answer to the original post, Milik, I personally don't see the benefit of having a specifically gay/bi area. I agree with LM, that from what I've seen most topics are covered in the general forums anyway... Surely rather than split the community into groups (and I don't mean gals/guys - because we all post on those regardless of sex anyway) it would be better to have more threads to accommodate everyone's needs?
I mean, I personally would be unlikely to visit that section (not being gay) and in fact, I would feel that I "couldn't" visit that section - I don't generally see posts in the BDSM area for the same reason, unless I click on a friend's post in my newsfeed, but I am extremely unlikely to post in BDSM as I know nothing about it and have no experience...
As for the gay community, well, I do have some experience there, I worked in a gay pubs and nightclub for some years and still have many gay and bi friends (in both the real and virtual worlds). Most of my friends (from what I've seen and heard) would rather feel accepted, that being gay was not considered to be anything other than normal and it would that mean that we might lose lots of fantastic input on the general forums too, I think...
Why not just have more gay/bi threads in the regular forums, then everyone can read and post or not if they choose to - that way we all at least get to see the posts, get the benefit of everyone's collective experience and continue to learn and grow the way we always do here on Lush? I guess what I am trying to say and not doing it very well is that the regular forums would be crap without all of the people who frequent them just now... Why split us into groups?
