THIS QUESTION IS NOT OF A SEXUAL NATURE!
One of the things I'm really trying to challenge myself in is being more sociable and speaking to more people. As a religious man, I know that happiness spreads through one to one dialogue and building bonds of friendship. I'm not great at putting myself out there and casually striking up conversations with strangers, but I'm trying.
One place which seems to offer a lot of opportunities for meeting new people is the gym. I go to my local gym three or four times a week (I'm not a fitness freak, I'm fat) and there are load of people there who it would be so easy to talk to if only I could build up a little more courage.
My question to you fellas is this: Would you find it strange if someone you did not know started to speak to you (friendly) in the changing/locker room?
There seems to be a layer of awkwardness added to this situation by the half- and fully-naked men around (I probably wouldn't start a conversation while the guy had his wang out) and I just don't know what the social etiquette is here. Is it like in a public bathroom where conversation is verboten? Or is it as fine a place as any to start a new friendship?
Follow-up question: What is a good conversation starter for someone you met in the gym?
Can I go to the old faithful that is the weather? Do I talk about gym things? I don't really know what guys who go to the gym like to talk about, really.
Thanks in advance for your answers. I'd especially be interested to hear what British guys have to say because I feel this is a bit of a cultural thing and North American attitudes may not be the norm on this side of the Atlantic.
Once again - this question is NOT about finding a date or someone to sleep with. It's purely about having dialogue with our fellow man and possibly forming friendships.
Thanks in advance for your answers.
I'm not a Brit, so you may not care what I say. But for me, some random dude trying to chat me up in the locker room wouldn't garner him any points. Especially if I'm in some state of undress. When I was in high school and college I belonged to a large gym. A group of us would go work out together, 2 or 3 times a week. There were a few guys we called "followers", as they'd follow us around the gym and into the locker room. Once we even passed one in the hallway, he was freshly showered and on his way out as we were going in. Miraculously, he showed back up in the sauna and showers when we were done.
Talking to someone in the actual gym/work out area. I'm not good at starting conversations either but I think I'd be more receptive to one in a more public place. If your gym has a trainer, start talking with him. He may know someone that needs a workout buddy and you can form a friendship there and gain more friends from his associations. I'll think more on it.
edit... once you know a guy, or have at least spoken to him before... then a chat in the locker room would be a little more acceptable
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates Yeah, unless you are looking for a gay hook up I wouldn't just start up a conversation with a guy in a state of undress. Don't even start by saying how hot the new girl instructor is - it sounds like you're testing sexuality
I'd suggest taking a class at the gym rather than just doing your own set. Spinning classes are good as they can make you feel part of a team without the whole team sport thing. Going every week you'll see the same faces and make friends.
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Why not read some stories instead
NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber Sports related topics would go over well in a gym atmosphere i would think. In the U.S. Health clubs /Gyms are very business like. Get in> get changed> workout routine> get clean> get changed again> get on with your day. Some small talk here and there but, nothing like sitting around and getting to know each other.
I've found that strangers usually wait until all parties at least have their pants on before starting chat. If its someone you know well, just tie a knot at the end of your towel and towel pop them on the ass real hard.
I appreciate all the response so far and am still thinking about them but I just wanted to add something...
Guys, give me a little fucking credit! I'm not going to start talking about the weather while a guy is towelling off his danglies; I do possess SOME common sense. I'm talking about when a guy just finishes his work-out or is just putting his shoes on to leave, not when they're fresh out the shower.
I know myself that I wouldn't much appreciate a friendly chat when my ass is on show.
Locker Room conversations have always been clumsy Clum, just like getting into a crowded elevator and nobody speaks a word after the doors close.
But I don't let that bother me. I enjoy being the first one to blurt out something relating to the days situation to help lighten the thick atmosphere.
Locker Rooms are no different, I don't care if a guys drying his dingle berries or not, say what you need to if it's appropriate.
Just don't get caught looking at the dudes package afterwards.
As with a woman, look them in the eyes as you talk to them, and don't let your eyes roam.
scooter
I started at a new gym when my old gym shut down and did not know anybody at the gym but maybe two or three people. I got to know people by seeing them all the time and then you can make small talk like your here as much as i am. Dont force conversations let them flow if someone is not receptive no problem they are there to workout and get out not date. At my gym they have a tv so alot of the time we'll talk to random guys about the game. Conversations will come as long as you are not trying to force any awkard and unwanted conversations.
My gym is quite a large one and I don't go at the same time every week so it's rare that I see people more than once or twice. Maybe I should think about getting into more of a routine with rather than just when I feel like I should.
As a guy who's always struggled with chatting to strangers, I'd probably find it quite strange if someone started randomly talking to me in a changing room. It would be different in the actual gym, for instance, my local gym in pretty small and so it's not rare for 2 or 3 guys to be standing around waiting to use a piece of equipment, and starting up a conversation with those would just help pass the time. But unless I know you, keep silent in the locker room.
Fitness is what's important here Clum.
Go when it's convenient for you, and work hard.
Soon they'll all be chatting you up.
(:
Talking to strangers in the locker room is not hard. Take it easy and do not push it. Keep in mind that most guys don't want to talk.
It is best to have already broken the ice out in the gym.
Myself, I hate talking at the gym. I'm trying to focus on the work-out or trying to catch my breath after. You really want to meet people take a class or join one of the events your gym offers.
It is alright with me.. but I prefer having my boxers on before someone starts talking to me (otherwise its a tad bit awkward).
I would sign up for some classes, Clum. Have you tried martial arts - maybe kickboxing or Muay Thai. Some gyms are offering variations of these now or you can find a separate gym/studio for them. You'll get paired up with people during the classes for practice and sparring. It's an easy way to get conversation flowing and build a rapport.
Or as someone else said - starting conversations while waiting for the machines or weights or seeing if your gym has social events or a running club (to train for half marathons or something). Some gyms have a lounge area or juice bar in the front too where you can read a paper, set up a laptop or hang out and maybe have an opportunity to socialize. As someone else mentioned - going at the same time everyday is also helpful because you'll start to see the same crowd over and over again.
I think every gym has a different kind of social culture, but even as far as girls go - if I don't know someone in the changeroom, I'm not likely to start up an in depth conversation. A few exchanged pleasantries now and then maybe, but I think it's still viewed as a 'private place' if you don't already know the people or aren't coming from the same gym classes where you have something in common already.
Piss on a guys leg in the shower area sometime and see what kind of conversation occurs.
The only locker room conversational experiences I've really been familiar with in my life, occurred when I was a part of a football, basketball or baseball team...and then, there's usually quite a bit of horseplay occurring as well as general bullshit being traded back n forth between those whose lockers are closer to one another. I have been known to launch balls of wound-up, used tape, 30 feet across rooms to hit a locker door and attempt to startle panic a guy or two, before.
But it's primarily because you're on the same 'team' with those fuckers and you're talking to them on the field of practice all the time.
At a commercial gymnasium such as Bally or Golds - here in the states... I've rarely had a conversation with anyone else. I don't know 'em...I don't want to know 'em and depending on what someone might say to me - 'they' would have to be pretty direct when addressing me, as I tune out all the other guys when I'm showering, dressing, etc.. When I've been traveling and wanted to use equipment at any of the equipped hotels...I go to work out...I don't go to meet people.
I turn off my gaydar when I got to a workout. It's just a bunch of other men in the locker room, they've got the same package I have and I'm not interested, but I'm also not on Defcon 3 alert mode either.
Clum...you should go to get fit...I guess in your situation, be open to small talk if someone speaks to you, but a gym/locker room is not someplace I'd go to try to make acquaintances with anyone. Maybe the gym/bar-lounge area for your protein/carb shake or smoothie afterward would be better. Different strokes for different folks, though.
Good luck, Clum
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
If I were clothed and you brought up the professional sport team whose logo I had on my t-shirt, I wouldn't have a problem with it. Depending on how big a fan you were it might turn into a good conversation.
(that be a bro hug, not a gay hug and not in the locker room either)
