Please educate me. If it were the reverse, I would hope that my partner would get all revved up and then I would jump their bones. But the reverse usually happens... Is it a jealousy thing? Please educate me.
Clay
It may be you are watching it alone. It's different if you are together as it becomes a turn on together.
But if she is finding you alone watching porn, she could feel that you are watching that "instead of" her.
Women are funny creatures. They WILL take it personally and they WILL NOT forget .
I've never found my other half watching porn alone, we have always induldged together (although i'm sure he's done it, we all have) but once, i did find a few lady pics on his PS3.
I think the trouble is, we take it personally, they looked nothing like me, so I assume I'm not what he likes- simple.
Once I calmed down, I swiftly deleted them ALL and replaced them all with men with massive cocks and muscles, just to see how he felt.
I think he felt the same way in the end.
Funny thing is.. i've never found anything since, but it's probably because I can't be bothered to look anymore either.
That speaks way more volumes than the porn, so choose your battles.
I never had a relationship with a man who was that into porn but if a guy I was with was watching porn alone all the time, Id feel he prefered that to me. Why watch other people fuck on video when you have someone who is ready to do it for real?
But that would be if he was obsessed with porn. Watching alone once in a while is cool.
If he's watching porn instead of fucking me then I'm surplus to requirement and I can't match his fantasies, so it's end of the road for him
I appreciate all of the posts. If we were not discussing visual porn, would you get just as upset if it were reading stories? Honestly, if you came over to your boyfriends house and surprised him and he were online reading LUSH stories. What would your reaction be?
I guess from a male perspective, reading the stories might be like foreplay. As a woman may prefer cuddling and such, I guy is more visual and by reading the stories, it gets him hot.
Ladies, I must thank you. You have me at least thinking about what the female perspective is on this matter. Obviously, girls and guys think quite differently. i do not think that a make would ever feel threatened if he caught his girl watching porn, much less reading it. Maybe Harlequin does have a point, although a bit tame for me. Frequency, replacement and obsession are good indicators to women.
It doesn't bother me unless it's a replacement when I'm there and clearly available OR something that he's overly obsessed with.
If a woman has a 'headache' or isn't in the mood, I can't see why her man watching porn should bother her much. I would typically rather watch with the guy and have fun together, but it's not really a big deal as long as the relationship is working and we have good sexual communication overall. Same goes for strip clubs and reading erotica. It's just sexual entertainment. Someone that has a high sex drive probably isn't going to channel all their focus on just their partner forever. I don't think that's realistic. As long as we have a good sex life in general, I wouldn't be concerned at all.
When people get 'mad' about stuff like this, it's usually because there's something going wrong in the relationship already and insecurities are happening.
You wonder he watches porn? I won't do this, im so insecure I would dump him if he...., I'm not good enough...., just listen to yourselves. Here's a hint to a good sexual marriage/relationship. Be completely and totally honest with your partner, watch the porn with him or her and find out what he/she likes then do it with them. Try saying "NO" a lot less in the sack, and maybe he'll stop watching porn and coming to you for all his perverted needs and fantasies. You may not like what he wants, and that's ok, but there is an old saying, "I would rather try and fail than not try at all". I have come to love anal because of my hubby and watching porn with him. Just remember, you chose him, what are you willing to do to make him totally love you and could not live without you?