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High School Analogies

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When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
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Ahahahaha..... These made me laugh so much.

I believe I have a few very bad stories that I wrote back in high school that can't even match these.
Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!
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Number 9 isn't actually too bad, maybe in context it would be better, but it does convey the fact quite well that the person in the story has a bad vocabulary.
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Here are a few more. These came from a teacher friend a while back who posted it on FB.

1)They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
2)He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
3)The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
4)Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
5)Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

I actually thought number 5 was, in fact, awesome.
Comments and suggestions of my stories are always welcome.
Thanks, Scott

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