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You know you're a parent when....

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You know you're a parent when.... you're not evening watching, and you can sing/speak along to pretty much any pixar or childrens movie.
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- I knew I was a parent when my "shower repertoire" included the Spice Girls, sorry Don Henley and Stevie Nicks. And the kids loved it. Now when by mistake I found myself still whistling that tune the say "oh dad, yuk gross, what r you gay"

- You're a parent when you see your wife/partner and she replies " you want what again? You know what I did all day?

But # 1 you know you're a parent when the 7.0 liter convertible is still on that pic on the wall while in the driveway there's a 7 seater minivan.
Choose n Practice Happiness

Life is simple; we are what we eat and what we read. Talk is superfluous.
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you know your a parent when every time you hear a kid say "MOM!" you instantly turn around whether your kid is with you or not. that and you know every word to "Blue's Clues".....LOL!
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You know you're a parent when you come home to a hallway full of smelly, size 10 DC's (him!) and your favourite mascara keeps disappearing (her!)

Of course, the fridge and kitchen cupboards are always empty and so is my bank account !!

However, I wouldn't change a thing.
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They hold your hand for no other reason than they simply want to.
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So many times you know but you really, really know you are a parent when your daughter is out on her first date and its late and the phone rings and you get "that feeling"!!
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Quote by orangefox444
They hold your hand for no other reason than they simply want to.


Ain't that the truth! My little girl loves to hold my hand whenever we're walking somewhere. And I love it even more than she does.

You know you're a parent when you have to sleep with some form of clothing on because you know your kid will end up in your bed before the night is through.



When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
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You know you are a Parent when your happiness doesn't matter anymore, only your child's happiness matters.
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... the paternity test comes back
Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
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Quote by overmykneenow
... the paternity test comes back


I told you, you need to be working instead of watching repeats of Jeremy Kyle!
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you know you are a parent when your handbag is full of varying sizes of sanitary towels and tampons, and antibacterial handwash replaces your perfume
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You know your a parent when you find your 3 year old daughters socks in your purse because she likes to play with your stuff.
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I knew I was a parent the first time she kicked!
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I knew I was a parent when I could no longer go to the bathroom alone.
I thought 4hrs of sleep was a lot. I can function on 2hrs easily, just don't ask me direct questions.
And midnight runs to the drugstore for diapers and/or medication for a fever.
Now, I've hit a whole new level parenting... My teenage daughter is starting to date. (I need to buy shotgun shells)
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Quote by swollen
You know you're a parent when you come home to a hallway full of smelly, size 10 DC's (him!) and your favourite mascara keeps disappearing (her!)

Of course, the fridge and kitchen cupboards are always empty and so is my bank account !!

However, I wouldn't change a thing.

Lol my daughter eats like a machine. And never seems to lose energy. Also more destructive than both of my nephews ever were together
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Quote by TheDevilsWeakness


I knew I was a parent when I could no longer go to the bathroom alone.
I thought 4hrs of sleep was a lot. I can function on 2hrs easily, just don't ask me direct questions.
And midnight runs to the drugstore for diapers and/or medication for a fever.
Now, I've hit a whole new level parenting... My teenage daughter is starting to date. (I need to buy shotgun shells)

Ok i used to like the gun idea but think about this. I have an almost 6 foot sword, difference? swords are silent, plus for my size im
told are quite intimidating. luckily shes only 3 so they have awhile yet lol
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Quote by Princess4Jim
You know you are a Parent when your happiness doesn't matter anymore, only your child's happiness matters.


That is very true.
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Quote by musicluver

Ok i used to like the gun idea but think about this. I have an almost 6 foot sword, difference? swords are silent, plus for my size im told are quite intimidating. luckily shes only 3 so they have awhile yet lol


Nope... I want the shells. I can switch out the buckshot for rock salt.
And if I have to pull the trigger it's going to burn like a mf'er.
I want to scare the hell out of them, not kill them...yet.

PS I swear I blinked... It seems like mine was only 3, yesterday. Sigh
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you know you're a parent when you have no time to yourself after cooking cleaning and picking up toys, and your t.v consists of children's television only and early night's.
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You know your a parent when...
One; your son throws your Ipad into the bath because you forgot to put it out of reach. Fuck!!! ;D
Two; he tries to sit on it to hide it away because he knows he done something wrong.
And three; you can't yell or growl or be angry at him because hes too freakin' cute; his smile has the power to shatter your world, cascade light and bring you to your knees.

Worst of all!! He knows this!!
Damn, I've got it baddd.
Evil Brain Angel Heart - E.B.A.H
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All i can say is i hate spongebob and dora
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Quote by musicluver
All i can say is i hate spongebob and dora


yep!
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When you don't know if its poop or chocolate till ya smell it.
Cheeky Chick
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You know you're a partner when you catch yourself watching the Disney channel or Nick and your kids aren't even home!
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When Barney has a restraining order against you.
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When you get more excited to see the lastest Disney movie coming out..


Or you get excited when you see a Disney movie come out of the volt for a short limited time.
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You know you are a parent, when no one matter how much time has passed since your child died, the smallest thing reminds you of them...
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Quote by Princess4Jim
You know you are a parent, when no one matter how much time has passed since your child died, the smallest thing reminds you of them...


This made me stop and send a pray out to any who have.
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I knew I was a mum when my little one handed me a half chewed, soggy biscuit and I didnt think twice about finishing it

Ahhh the joys of motherhood
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You know you're a parent when you make yourself a lovely, strong, aromatic pot of espresso, then you get out your 1921 Wedgwood Patrician Ware cup and saucer; the one with the hand painted gold edging, then you pour into it the last few inches of leftover milk from the baby bottle your two year old has just discarded.