This is about my "drug". The drug is not a physical or tangible one but an emotional one. I wonder if others experience the same thing. I was very worked up today with everything going on. I wrote this in about 3 minutes out of anger and frustration. This was the easiest thing I have ever wrote, probably because it's the truest most honest thing I've wrote.
My god I'm having an awful day,
Tell me I'm gorgeous,
and send me on my merry little way.
Tell me how much you want to fuck me,
all the naughty things you wanna do,
tell me quickly because Ill soon be done with you.
Where does this rage come from inside me?
Who acts like this….honestly?
It's my constant struggle,
it's what brings me down,
I search and search in hopes to be found.
Found by what?
I ask myself that too
To be found by someone amazing, sexy and brand new.
Oh, the newness I love and like,
it's what draws me in
and wraps it's arms around me so tight.
That feeling is the best in the world,
it's what I call my drug,
but some would disagree and even look at me smug.
I struggle to suppress these feelings or find a new vice,
but sometimes they just come flooding back,
and I graciously accept them because they are ooh so nice.
It's almost scary how this feeling rules me,
I can only compare it to a drug
because I want it, need it and drink from it wholeheartedly.
I need to shake this thing,
get over it once and for all,
I have been trying for years now but it's so easy to fall.
I'm still searching,
and looking for a way,
to be fully content and happy with each day.
But that feeling pulls at me and I end up giving in,
oh that feeling,
that unexplainable rush of pure adrenalin.
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