I don't mean can we learn extreme or weirdly thrilling things written to entertain. I mean legal and more or less conventional elements of eroticism.
Here are instances that I feel are unrealistic:
-- The guy takes the woman through several orgasms, then lets go. Do people really do that? Is that what women prefer?
-- most women I have known absolutely HATE anal sex. Some stories make it sound like that's not true.
-- women coming to orgasm in nonconsensual sex. That seems totally unrealistic and implausible.
-- And men who last through three, four, five orgasms in a row, but they're not 17.
-- Also, who thinks of people in terms of measurements? (And, guys, women prefer thickness to length.)
However, there are things I have learned.
Some positions I hadn't thought of turned out to be very satisfactory in real, consensual adult-to-adult sex.
Things I wonder about:
-- Do women really like to be called "slut" or "cum-bucket"or things of that sort? (Have never tried it.)
Maybe other people have other concerns about erotic fiction.
I'm kinda new so I hope I posted in the right place.
different strokes, I guess!
If I may ask ... Is this something you would prefer to, say, frontal genital sex? Does anal sex lead to orgasm by itself?
Oh, and what about the pain?
Acceptance of our desires; and tolerance of those of others.
New found skills and abilities.
A genuine passion for our craft; and an opportunity to share an intimate and personal experience with our partners.
There's a lot we can and do learn.
I think that while you have a point with certain generalizations, it's important to remember two things. The first is that people get pleasure from different things. Some women love anal sex. Some women hate it. Some women enjoy having several orgasms, and some are either not interested or too sensitive. Some men are legitimately capable of having several orgasms. As a bio-male individual, I can say that (at least when not medicated with large amounts of tranquilizers... grr...), I can usually have at least two in a session if my partner is into it, though as a rule, we both try to get ourselves/each other to cum once and just make it a good one.
The second thing to keep in mind is that erotic fiction is fiction. There's a degree of fantasy that's important in all fiction. Pure realism works for some writers, but not many. I've done it with certain projects. Actually my two lush-published erotic stories are near-total realism, but I actually tend toward dark or psychedelic surrealism and absurdism in most of my writing. I have enormous respect for those who do it well, but it's difficult to pull off with any degree of believability; so where do we go? Fantasy. It makes the world of fiction go round. And round. And round and round and round, whereas realism makes it rotate on the same axis, constantly and at a never-changing pace or direction. Realist fiction is great, but there's a lot more to it, and it's not necessarily a writer's job to portray sex in erotic fiction exactly as their experience or academic research indicates it to be. Another minor note is that sometime what we enjoy in a fantasy is different than what we enjoy (or allow ourselves to enjoy) in reality.
Just some of my thoughts on the subject.
I've learned and shared techniques and subtlies that were fun and interesting. I've learned that there truly is an interest somewhere for even the most exotic fantasies. I've confirmed my belief that romance isn't dead, it just needs a good lubricant once in a while and I've shared that there are plenty of women who do enjoy anal sex if the guy she is with knows what the hell he is doing back there
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