Sorry for the length, but it's complicated...I reconnected via Facebook with a girl about a year ago (I had known her briefly about 10 years earlier when we worked at the same place). We met, really hit it off (we have a LOT in common), I asked her out, she said yes. The date went well, but when I asked her out again she said due to various personal issues (including the fact she's bipolar & seeing a therapist) she couldn't date anyone at the moment. But hoped we could be friends. Yep, I got friendzoned.
I actually liked her beyond any romantic/physical attraction, so decided to give it a try. We hung out fairly regularly for a few months & did become close friends but around the same time I had an old health problem reoccur. I confided in her a lot about what was going on and she was very supportive...more than most of my other friends. I make a lot more money than she does so to show my gratitude for her being there for me I always paid when we went out anywhere and bought several of her framed photos (she's an amateur photographer). I was starting to fall for her as more for a friend but knew for various reasons it wasn't going to happen (my health for one).
Anyway, the health problem hasn't gone away (still in horrible pain) and I seriously overshared all of that with her, but I honestly didn't feel like I had anyone else to talk about it with. About 2 months ago, we went out to dinner (I had promised her I'd buy two more of her photos) and she mentioned she had dated somebody for a short time but it didn't work out. She also mentioned that she was back seeing a therapist, this time to try and cut back on her drinking after work every day. I decided that if she was dating again, even with her assorted issues, I was going to ask her if she'd like to try a more-than-friends relationship.
So I asked her. She seemed stunned/surprised. I asked her if she would think about it and I'd give her some space. We hugged as we always did and parted amicably. She said she would think about it.
I screwed up on giving her space because I still emailed her a few times--about other stuff, not about the "will you date me" issue, but I know now I shouldn't have done that. She never responded to anything I sent.
About 6 weeks ago I had a major personal crisis (long story), got drunk (very unusual for me) and sent her an email saying it was clear she wasn't interested in me as a friend, much less anything else, and unfriended her on Facebook (and told her I had stopped payment on the check I had mailed her for the photos, which she hadn't cashed). I apologized profusely several days later and sent her a re-friend request, but she never responded and clicked "ignore" on the friend request (it changed on her profile from "Friend Request Sent" back to "Add as Friend).
Two weeks ago, I mailed her a gift card that I'd won at work which covered the cost of the photos I'd stiffed her on, apologized again for screwing up a great friendship, and said it would be great if we could hit "reset." I guess I miss her enough that I'm willing to just be friends again even though my feelings are still stronger.
She's clearly received the gift card & note, but, again, no response. Should I try to contact her again, maybe in a few more months? I know I screwed up, especially with that awful message, but is my behavior really unforgivable? I really have it bad for her and combined with my health issues, it's pretty much tearing me apart.
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