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Keeping Your Mouth Shut or Speaking what is on your mind.

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I typically all my life keep things bottled up.
Yesterday spoke my piece and now I am the bad guy.
So guess I go back to keeping things in. And get in trouble for doing that too.
Active Ink Slinger
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Opening up for the first time can shock people and make you seem like that bad guy type but if it made you feel better than who cares what others think. Its whats best for you and your family right? And if you opened up to a family or friend then they need to accept that you are changing and opening up now instead of being the closed fist type. Because if you keep things bottled up for too long you might go and hurt others or more importantly hurt yourself. I know and understand cause I was the quiet one for so long as well. If you ever need a friend to lend you a ear feel free to message me back.
Lurker
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don't keep things bottle up it will eat away at you. say whats on your mind and who gives a fuck what the other people think.
dont worry about them be yourself and if you feel you need to speak up. do so.
Lurker
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Keeping things bottled up only really hurts you in the,end as it prays on your mind and it may stress you out.People change as they get older ie when younger they may feel that is not their business to speak up.
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Quote by countrygirl58
I typically all my life keep things bottled up.
Yesterday spoke my piece and now I am the bad guy.
So guess I go back to keeping things in. And get in trouble for doing that too.


It depends on the situation and the context. Sometimes it's prudent to keep silent. It depends on the circumstances. By speaking up can you hurt someone else? Is it just to make you feel better at the expense of someone else? Who can benefit by you speaking up? Are you exposing a secret that's best left buried? Are you telling a truth to right a wrong? There's too many variations on this question to just say screw it, tell it like it is.
Active Ink Slinger
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My opinions are usually not welcome, nor popular, so it's usually best to keep things to yourself. I like to be direct, but have found it usually just gets me into trouble.
Lurker
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I don't bother with the whole bottling things up. i am completely straightforward with everything i say. sometimes at the wrong time, but since i have been doing it for years, it's expected. It just depends on the context, and often that first unexpected outburst that gets you perceived negatively
Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
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As many have said, it's not in your best interest to keep things bottled up. And, as CK has mentioned, it depends on the situation, who's involved, and whether there is benefit to saying your mind/what your heart says.

In my life, I am one of those that writes things down. I'll stew over something if it's important to me or my loved ones. Sometimes, my opinion isn't popular, and as we all know, words can be like knives ... so I try to ensure my comments are not directly hurtful.

I have also found, as I "mature" (don't laugh, I am!) there are things that you really don't need to sweat over, things that will annoy you, and things that you do need to speak up about. The trick is learning what is which of those.

Good luck!

PA
Active Ink Slinger
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I'm with the OP here. I typically keep things in, I don't like to talk or give my opinion especially if it would hurt someone. But I've had a big life lesson that taught me keeping things in is bad not only for you, but for the people you keep the information from.

I know it's dependent on the situation, but there is always a way to express what you're feeling without rubbing someone the wrong way. I haven't necessarily learned the mind-to-mouth filter talent yet--I'm just naturally bad at it & keeping my temper in check too.

I hope you figure out the right thing to do. The right thing might not always be the easiest, just take it all in stride. Best wishes smile
Active Ink Slinger
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Hey countrygirl58, you're not the 'bad guy' just because someone else thinks you are, because others think you are not. I always had sort of the opposite problem of keeping things bottled up, I just blabbed. It has helped me to find other outlets: write it down, tell a trusted friend; go in the bathroom and throw water on my face., but there are times we can't do those things. In those times trust yourself. Of course you will be concerned about what others think, no one likes to have their thoughts rejected, but sometimes it is worth the risk to state yourself. Remember, you are important, just as much as anyone else, and so are your ideas.
If you ignore beauty, you will soon find yourself without it.................Frank Lloyd Wright

I always practice obedience, when it's in my best interest.
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Quote by countrygirl58
I typically all my life keep things bottled up.
Yesterday spoke my piece and now I am the bad guy.
So guess I go back to keeping things in. And get in trouble for doing that too.



You should be able to speak what's on your mind. Like what others have said, do not
keep it bottled up. It will eat at you. I generally speak my mind, I have learned that
by not doing it, they won't know and by doing it you get your point across. Even if you
seem like 'the bad guy', I personally don't think it's that bad. You wont be perceived like
that forever, because all is forgotten over time. Even if you might hurt the person, it may
be for their own good.

However, there are a lot of scenarios to when you feel you should or shouldn't
speak up. It's just a matter of what you feel is right or what you need to be heard.

Lurker
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There are times for both 58. Sometimes you just have to get things off your chest and just say fuck the consequences...
Active Ink Slinger
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i speak my mind...i get in trouble a lot ;) but i am learning to "know my audience" and temper my delivery. i have discovered that people cant hear you very well after you've smashed them in the face with a baseball bat. metaphorically speaking of course ;)
littlemissbitch ~ professional face ripper offer, at your service..
The Linebacker
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Some people are so narcissistic that they speak their mind or say what they think regardless of other people's feelings. Sometimes these know it all blabber mouth's just have no respect or regard for other people and think so highly of themselves that they cannot temper their mouth. Unfortunately for them, what they think is an intelligent statement usually just shows their ignorance.
Lurker
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As has been said several times, there is a time and place for speaking your mind and keeping your mouth shut. I have found out to my cost both. But at the end of the day, if you're not happy, tell someone and do something about it. I for one would definately just keep speaking my mind. it makes life more interesting.
Internet Philosopher
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Quote by Buz
Some people are so narcissistic that they speak their mind or say what they think regardless of other people's feelings. Sometimes these know it all blabber mouth's just have no respect or regard for other people and think so highly of themselves that they cannot temper their mouth. Unfortunately for them, what they think is an intelligent statement usually just shows their ignorance.


This is true. Whether or not one should allow ones self to become entangled in a situation should depend on a few key points. The first being of course, do they have a choice. If the issue is being forced upon them by the type of person Buz mentioned then there is no real option but to speak but even then it would be wise to listen carefully so that you have understanding.

Second, is it important enough for one to risk the consequence of involvement? Major disagreements can erupt simply because a person couldn't emotionally tolerate the very idea that someone didn't have an inconsequential fact straight and then became insulted when their correction was not taken at face value. Many arguments can be avoided simply by realizing that we don't need to protect everyone from their own ignorance. Don't try to educate the unwilling, their comeuppance is to go on looking foolish and you get to avoid the negative feelings brought on by trying to save them from it.
Lurker
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Have to know when is acceptable and when it's not. It's all about knowing your place. At work, if you aren't the boss, keep it shut. On the street, probably not the best. But there are times you are fully able, so go for it. It's good to vent.
Weaver of Words
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I often just don't say anything either, but the older I get, the more I feel the need to speak up sometimes. I typically only do it when not speaking up affects me personally, like someone persistently asking me about my personal business. Or if what someone is saying or doing hurts someone else. then I will speak up. but never just to hurt someone.
Active Ink Slinger
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all depends on the conversation and situation .I have no problem giving a statement or opinion.other times I sit back and just absorb .
Lurker
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i have to tell aloud tto the world about my feelings,good or bad,i always like the consequences rather than keeping my feelings to myself
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by SensualSharon
My opinions are usually not welcome, nor popular, so it's usually best to keep things to yourself. I like to be direct, but have found it usually just gets me into trouble.


This is me to a t.

Sadly often when I do speak out I get a group of people getting me into trouble and not the one I was talking to.
Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!
Active Ink Slinger
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Not only do I speak my mind but I use my hands while I'm doing it - I'm half Italian and half French after all silly
Classified
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Quote by BelleduJour
Not only do I speak my mind but I use my hands while I'm doing it - I'm half Italian and half French after all silly




Guy says to his wife while receiving head, ''Don't talk with your mouth full.''.
Wife replies, ''Who said my mouth is full?!''.
Of all our inventions for mass communication,
pictures still speak the most universally understood language.

Walt Disney
Active Ink Slinger
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There is a time for both i think. Sometimes its best to sit back and keep your mouth shut. And then there are times you should speak your mind. The real test is knowing when to each. Because so many people get them mixed up and disaster happens!
Active Ink Slinger
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There is a time for both i think. Sometimes its best to sit back and keep your mouth shut. And then there are times you should speak your mind. The real test is knowing when to each. Because so many people get them mixed up and disaster happens!
Active Ink Slinger
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I guess it all Depends on things I guess for me. If I trust someone than I might open to them, but I have a terrible habbit of keeping stuff to myself, and letting things bottle up, till I explode.
Lurker
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I base it on the situation, but quite often my thoughts are a bit too honest to be spoken out loud.
Lurker
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"We speak when we cease to be at peace with our thoughts. And in talking, thinking is half murdered. For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words, may indeed unfold its wings, but cannot fly" Kahlil Gibran. Gibran aside, I'd suggest our need to put our foot forward, if only verbally, is a need that is based on insecurity. We don't need to prove ourselves to others. We just think we do.
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"We speak when we cease to be at peace with our thoughts. And in talking, thinking is half murdered. For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words, may indeed unfold its wings, but cannot fly" Kahlil Gibran. Gibran aside, I'd suggest our need to put our foot forward, if only verbally, is a need that is based on insecurity. We don't need to prove ourselves to others. We just think we do.