I ask this because I have been in a relationship for quite a while and I think that his feelings are far greater then mine. I'm not exactly sure if it is just me not expressing my feelings as freely as he does. Is it fair to be in a relationship with someone if your not really sure if you love them ( I have told him I did because I was freaked out when he said it) but they are in it 100%? I'm just wondering from all your past experiences if you have ever felt like the feeling in the relationship was unequal and how that turned out for you.
Another thing that has crossed my mind is that maybe the right relationship should have equal amounts of affection. But I have never had this. Maybe I have never been in the right relationship...
i really dont think its possible to be totally even...emotions ebb and flow always. the trick is to find a relationship where its close. its no fun to love someone that isnt that into you and vice versa.
littlemissbitch ~ professional face ripper offer, at your service..
I would recommend a chat about your relationship. You don't have to be at the same level but it will only harm the relationship (and both of you) if you're nowhere near and never talk about it.
If he loves you as much as he seems to, he'll understand what you are saying and back off a little, giving you the space to breath and the time to determine if you'll ever get to where he is.
You shouldn't have told him you loved him if you didn't but I can understand if you were feeling under pressure when he said it. It's not the end of the world but you've got to realise that he now thinks you're just as into this and that's part of the reason that he's so... intense.
As for affection; no. Some people are affectionate; some people are not. You don't have to be the same but you have to respect each other's levels. If he is overly affectionate, let him know that you're not really like that. At the very least, he will understand and not take it as a really bad sign when you're not all over him all the time.
Best of luck.
Probably most relationships are not exactly equal.
Some may actually be but one person is just much more expressive or has a better ability to express their true feelings than the other, therefore the relationship does not seem equal (but actually is.)
Mostly its about compatibility. Do both give each other what they need?
I think one always loves more than the other. It certainly seemed that way with Seinfeld and Kramer, Buffy and the vampires, and Spongebob and Patrick, but I'm only going by what I've seen.
I believe it can be so. For example I tell my other half I love him almost daily. He will just go "uh huh" or "Thanks". Apparently his responses are because when he told me he loved me I apparently changed or whatever.
There is times I feel like that I have put more effort into the relationship. However the S.O has shown his love for me by accompanying to dental appointments and specialist appointments. He doesn't have to but he has been there.
Though there is times when he thinks of his first real girlfriend. A woman who was dating his brother before S.O got with her. Who then cheated on him with some guy and S.O's bestfriend. There is this glimmer of sadness when he always brings her up. Sometimes I think if that woman came walking back into his life and said she was single. He would drop me like a hot potato and run back to her.
I just finished reading "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus."
Yeah, yeah. How Oprah. No. Really. Guys, go read the book. You too, ladies.
Any straight person who thinks his or her partner loves him or her less than he or she probably doesn't appreciate the differences between how men and women behave, think and love.
Here's a preview:
Men, your woman want to be cherished, validated, for you to be devoted.
Ladies, your man wants you to trust, accept and admire him.
Those are all "love," but they're not the same things.
The golden rule isn't "do unto others as you would have them to unto you."
It's "do unto others as they would have you do unto them."
I have tried to talk about it before with him, but all of our talks like that always turn into fights. I guess I will try it a bit differant and try a bit harder instead of putting it off.