Okay, here's what you need to do. When you guys start to have sex, when he gets close, STOP. Just enjoy the feeling of him being in you, and the same for him, just kiss softly and very slowly start to work up speed again. If that doesn't work, have him pull out. give him a minute and just so you don't go cold, let him play with you. As soon as he can hold himself back from cumming, let him back in... trust me these things will work. Just please, for the love of god what ever you do, don't get mad at him for cumming to soon and DO NOT put him down for it. If you do that, he will do nothing but stress over it, and that will either make him cum sooner, or not be able to get hard at all. Trust me, he knows he is cumming too soon and is as worried about it just as much as you are, even if he doesn't say anything about it. You guys just have to work on this together with love and understanding. Best of luck to you both.
There is one exercise called the "Squeeze Technique" where when a couple begins sexual activity, and the urge to ejaculate becomes prominent, they can stop and the partner can squeeze the glans (the head) where it meets the shaft with a gentle pressure until the urge to ejaculate has gone. At the point, the couple can resume, let's say maybe 30 seconds later. This process can be repeated over and over until the urge is gone and the woman can be penetrated. With this technique and with practice using it, the sensation of delaying ejaculation can be achieved and knowing when would become a habit where the "Squeeze Technique" may not be needed.
Another way is to have him masturbate to orgasm before you two have sex. Most of the time, this will delay ejaculation when you two start to engage in the act itself.
There is also topical numbing creams that can be applied to the penis, but they can be deceiving because they could numb his sensitivity too much and also cause you to have a loss of sensitivity because he is inside you.
This is also more than likely a psychological issue and he could get help with talking about it. He more than likely has performance anxiety and gets worked up about it. Maybe if he thinks less about ejaculating too early, he could enjoy being with you and having you stimulate him in a relaxed environment.
Whatever you do, I agree with Wolfie22. Do not chastise him over it. He is very aware that he is doing this and I am sure he feels ashamed.
As long as you two work together and build your relationship, it will get better.
"So don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
Don't lie to me,
Just get your things.
I've made up your mind."
--Evanescence
a few small things you can do.
1. get him to masterbate. it will help him last longer.
2. during if he sayd he is getting close make him pull out and gently tug his balls and pinch the tip of his cock.
that always works for me.
Condoms will help him last longer. The thicker the better. Having sex more often will also help. He can also learn to distract himself by thinking about things that aren't erotic. More foreplay for the woman to get her much closer before penetration is also helpful.
I'm surprised at the number of suggestions for him to masturbate first. There are several possible flaws to that approach. First off, if he is multi-orgasmic, which he'd need to be for that to work, why waste the first one? Do a quickie, then a slow romantic mingle. Second, he may not be able to cum a second time; that would make even the suggestion an insult. Third, look first for the cause, then a solution. He may be one of those guys who mistakenly "saves it up" so by date night the system is overcharged. In which case masturbating during the week would help. If his penis is very sensitve, the creams, lubes and condoms, suggested by others here, could be a huge help. There is also the possibility that he just gets too wound up during the date. For that I'd suggest you look into some of the orgasm delay self-help tricks like stopping when he feels he is getting close, let him pleasure you until he has regained control and then restart; repeat as necessary. There are tons of books and videos on the subject. Some guys have improved by learning to give the woman an orgasm via mouth, hands, legs etc., then when they get to 'the act' there is no pressure to perform as the man knows he has already pleased her. As with any relationship angle, dialogue is critical. Guide him in pleasuring you, so he will know what you want and how to provide it. Sharing a girl-on-girl video might allow for some pointers without the suggestion that he is doing anything wrong. Hope some of this helps.
supposedly a guy told he if he did his muscles like we do our
kegels (stop the pee)....
this helps...
but thank you for all of your help
