Ive read some of your posts and now dont feel so bad about sharing mine....never been active on forum but always good to start eh? So....Ive been with my partner on and off since 2nd year in high school....9 years give or take...we moved in together 3 years ago and ever since shes made me sleep on the couch. She hates the way i breathe and snore. Best thing in the world happened....we had a boy 7 months ago. Hes my everything but she never leaves me with him...we always argue which usually ends up in me being battered. Her family are so fucked up also, all mental and or depressed.....ive stayed in the.....relationship if i can call it that for my sons sake but my dad done same for me n my sisters n ended up worse....with us in the middle. I do love her but we never have sex, maybe twice a year...we cant talk without arguing....its horrendous. What the hell do i do? I work fulltime n pay all bills basically i pay n she takes bt dont want to lose my son by walking........comments very welcome....Liam the forum noob
Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
Welcome to the Forums!!
It sounds very difficult, Liam.
you know, you can't "lose" your son if you leave the relationship. I would highly suggest you seek a lawyer/attorney/counsel who is well versed in Family Law to find out what your rights are as a parent who doesn't want to continue the relationship (if that is what you want). Sometimes, talking through what the reality could/may be helps you decide what to do.
Personally, I suggest - don't let the negative cycle continue ... you and your son (and your wife/gf) deserve happiness in this short life.
All the best of luck ... and remember ... be true to yourself.
I agree with PA. You have to decide if you want to live with her and make a go of it. Not for your son. For you. Children understand more than we give them credit for in the long run. If you two are always fighting, never sleep in the same bed and just don't get along, he's going to pick up on the fact that something is wrong. He'll end up talking to his friends as well and that will convince him that something isn't right. If you want to stay with her you have to talk to her to see if she wants the same. Then seek counseling/therapy to learn how to be a married couple. Or even lovers and cohabitants.
If you decide that perhaps your life would be better and happier without living with her, do as PA said and consult an attorney/solicitor. You can then seek joint custody with her. But remember she will always be in your life as she is the mother of your son and the two of you have to think of his welfare and happiness for the rest of his upbringing.
If you need advice on the legal aspects the Citizens Advice Bureau will point you to a suitable (and free/cheap) advice service, or solicitor.
Folks,
Thanks very much for this.
I also thought of speaking to a lawyer, believe it or not my dad was in the same situation with my mum but decided to just put up with it. He hated his life and eventually when I was 18 decided to leave without us knowing. Now he is with a new partner and looks happy...dont know if im subconsciously picking up on this?
Thanks for the comments.
