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You are the rock it has all been broken upon...

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Constant Gardener
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People tell you things.

You are the confidante. The dictionary claims that would be a female role. I would venture a guess that is because of the spelling.

Why is that? Do you care? Do you care too much?

Why do I inquire? What have I heard or read? A conspiracy perhaps.

I thought I heard that line in: Legends of the Fall - but, checking the script...it was never typed nor spoken.

What the hell...People tell you things.

Why?

I have a second cousin. He's my Mother's cousin actually, but he and I are close. Not in age but in thought and action. He has not groomed me, in any sense of that phrase. If he has any perversions, I know not what those would be. He did not need to, but he did..befriend me.

He is a good husband, father, man. I admire him greatly and always have. He is about 15, 16 years older than I.

On my mother's side of my family... Ken has always been the rock that it has all been broken upon. He knows all the secrets. Everyone has always confessed or just spoken to him - of things.

And he's confessed to me that knowing all of that, for all these last 50 years or so...

Has stressed him greatly.

His empathy and willingness to listen has always impressed me.

I would hope to provide some direction for his eulogy, if asked. Ken is a pretty good fucking guy.

But I know his secret(s) and I see how the burden has aged him.

Who do you know is like this? Perhaps you are?
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Constant Gardener
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I should add... Ken waited til I was in my thirties before he spilled the gory family archives into my own vault. And, it required a bit of prying from me...I did not really know most of those people, by the time I was old enough to actually remember them.

There is no way to white wash things, really.

Things are as they are, aren't they?
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Active Ink Slinger
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If asked, just tell it like it is. In your non-beat-around-the-bush sort of way. I'm sure all your family knows about his strength or they wouldn't have trusted him with all their dirty secrets. So, without going into any detail you can praise him for being the good listener that he was, and they'll all agree when flashbacks rush their own brains.

Curious, do you now feel burdened by the stuff he has shared with you? Has it changed how you deal with or view other family members?



When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Active Ink Slinger
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The eldest of 5, an absentee father, a fragile (youngest of 7) mother - all just about set me up to be that 'rock'.

The more you project the image of the strong resourceful type the more they come to you and the more you feel obligated to support. You counsel, support, and learn to compartmentalise their angst ever knowing they care not how you are coping with the burden of their travails. Keep the lid pressed down, build another compartment, contain the pressure.

You just hope and pray that one day the lid does not blow off.
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Her Royal Spriteness
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sometimes i find myself the girl people go to with their troubles, and yes, i love being able to be there, to listen, even if i don't have advice, but there are times when it becomes a burden. sometimes you need to find balance and not let it define who you are and not matter how strong you are, there are times when it will test you.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.