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Sexting/cybersex: Is It Cheating?

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Lurker
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Seriously is it cheating especially if u have an significant other?
Lurker
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Of course it is. Especially "because" you have a significant other. If you didn't, who would you be cheating on?
Lurker
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That would be a solid YES!
Lurker
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I have to say yes.

On the other hand, is it as bad as actually meeting someone without your other half's knowledge?
Lurker
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Its not as bad as that. So thats why I posed the question.
Lurker
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I think it depends how its used and how would you feel if the significant other was doing it?

If you just use it as foreplay, and help yourself become horny and then go have sex with your SO, and you feel no connection to whoever you are sexting/cybersex-ing with I don't see it as an issue. Also if you are doing that and thinking of your SO as the other person again don't see the issue. However if you doing it because you like other person or getting off to said other person then, I think this is where it crosses the boundary. Also if you have been doing this with said person and then meet up with the IRL without your SO knowing this would also cross the line.

I think there are fine lines to it.
Lurker
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I wouldn't go try to meet another person irl. It was more or less foreplay and once I get horny then I would go have sex with my SO.
I may be dumber than a box of rocks but I'm not stupid enough to gain an emotional bond. That has happened in the past though.
Lurker
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If you were in a room with the person and they were naked and you were naked you would be cheating. Even if you never stick it to her you would be cheating and you know it. The same goes if you send explicit pictures to someone other than your significant other. Its cheating. Now the line in the sand starts to fade if you are texting only words, however, it is still probably cheating.
Lurker
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Thank you taranextdoor. I appreciate the candid response.
Lurker
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No problem. I hope I didn't come across too strong, this seems like a great but occasionally touchy community from the time I have spent lurking before joining.
Lurker
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While it might not be physical cheating (although, if both parties are masturbating, then perhaps it is?)

However, your mind is with the other person, so in my book, it does constitute cheating and you can bet your ass that if you got found out and were going through a divorce, it could be used against you...
The Linebacker
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I don't do it. Since I am married I would feel guilty. I am okay talking generally about sex, but not cybering.

Truthfully, I never desired to cyber much anyhow.

My wife and I do have fun sexting each other! That gets us good 'n' ready to be all over each other as soon as we actually get together.
Lurker
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Thanks you guys. I really appreciate all the imput and opinions. I guess I am just a horny muthafucka.
Lurker
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I don't think it is any different than thinking of someone else when you masturbate. If that is cheating then we're all guilty.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Mazza
While it might not be physical cheating (although, if both parties are masturbating, then perhaps it is?)

However, your mind is with the other person, so in my book, it does constitute cheating and you can bet your ass that if you got found out and were going through a divorce, it could be used against you...


This seems true to me.
Active Ink Slinger
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Generally this is how it I see it.

Pornography - Getting a sexual thrill/pleasure from watching other people having sex, however as it is a solo experience, its acceptable and is not cheating

Cyber Sex - Getting a thrill/pleasure from having sexual interaction with another person outside of your relationship, is not acceptable and is cheating (its no different than texting, videoing, phone sex)

Basically, stick with porn, its not exactly a fantastic and innocent solution, but its the least of all the evils.
Lurker
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Thanks again y'all. Appreciate it.
Active Ink Slinger
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The question is:
Do you hide this activity from your partner? If its yes, its violating the trust you have with each other and I would consider that cheating.
If, like me, its a no. My partner fully understands I may engage in it from time to time to keep myself "amused".
Its not a replacement for our sex life but an enhancement or a temporary solution for times we're apart.
I don't bring other men to bed, but while the cat is away this mouse is allowed to play. At a distance.
Lurker
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it is a yes. but sometimes it is fun when she is right here with me telling me what to say. ;)
Lurker
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it really is something you need to discuss with your partner, they're the ones whose boundaries you have to respect. ive met some people who dont consider it cheating, but i know that i do, and i expect my (hypothetical) partner to respect my feelings on the matter.
Active Ink Slinger
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Yep its cheating
Cuddles is all I want, Cuddles is all I need, with just a little hint of passion.
Her Royal Spriteness
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depends on the rules. if your partner knows about it and has given you their blessing. no. if you are lying about it, then yes. it's that simple. i'm not judging, btw, but it's pretty much black and white.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Lurker
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Thanks. Its like this. If she asks me I'm going to be honest and open with her. I'm not gonna go meet the person wherever they are.
I may not be very bright but I'm not that stupid.
Active Ink Slinger
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Yes. especially, if the SO have no knowledge about it and you do it because you are not satisfied enough with what do you have between you...however, it is another thing if you do it just to heat up your relationship with your SO (don't you think you must discuss any issues about this with your SO because he or she might help you more than anyone else)...and more so, a lot more different if the SO knows all about it and gives consent to it...
Sometimes, a bitch is just a girl who wears a mask to hide what's real inside her
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Beck
Thanks. Its like this. If she asks me I'm going to be honest and open with her. I'm not gonna go meet the person wherever they are.
I may not be very bright but I'm not that stupid.


IF SHE ASKS???

How can she ask about it if you HIDE it from her?

I'm always open and honest about it with my partner. BECAUSE I TOLD HIM. Thats being open and honest.

If I was your partner and you never mentioned it and I found out about it - I'd kick your ass to the curb - What else are you hiding if you can't come right out and tell them what you're doing?

Maybe its your choice of words but I'm not entirely sure about the stupid part if this is how you're thinking...
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Quote by TheDevilsWeakness


IF SHE ASKS???

How can she ask about it if you HIDE it from her?

I'm always open and honest about it with my partner. BECAUSE I TOLD HIM. Thats being open and honest.

If I was your partner and you never mentioned it and I found out about it - I'd kick your ass to the curb - What else are you hiding if you can't come right out and tell them what you're doing?

Maybe its your choice of words but I'm not entirely sure about the stupid part if this is how you're thinking...


I must ask you if you have told your current partner about our effing hot cyber sessions at all muffin?
The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
Alpha Blonde
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Quote by sprite
depends on the rules. if your partner knows about it and has given you their blessing. no. if you are lying about it, then yes. it's that simple. i'm not judging, btw, but it's pretty much black and white.


This is the correct answer.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Dudealicious


I must ask you if you have told your current partner about our effing hot cyber sessions at all muffin?


Ummm... it was him the last time... I wasn't home
Lurker
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Quote by sprite
depends on the rules. if your partner knows about it and has given you their blessing. no. if you are lying about it, then yes. it's that simple. i'm not judging, btw, but it's pretty much black and white.


Best answer so far!