Women often have that desire to compare things with their girlfriends... whether it's the inside of her shoe closet or how much money they spent on their last haircut.
So when it comes down to the glorious pussy, women want to know how they measure up. A quick scan of skin magazines and porn typically tells us that it should be either smooth and hairless or have a short, neat landing strip. The lips should be symmetrical, trim and neat. The colour should be a lovely flushed pink. And the scent (according to some douching products) should be akin to a lovely island breeze. Well now we find out that pussy is supposed to taste like mint!
In the quest to achieve these standards, women go to many lengths ranging from a brazilian wax all the way up to labiaplasty to reduce a floppy or irregular vulva. Now, those crafty marketing gurus are taking it a step further by exploiting female insecurity and selling us more ideas on things we need to do in order to become a front-runner in the pussy competition.
So today I bring you some interesting information about the top three most bizarre things you could consider doing in order to achieve the perfect vagina.
What do we think of this, my dear Lushies? Is the pussy now supposed to be pink, minty and tighter than an asshole?
Olivia says No... but comments are welcome.
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Problem: Your Vagina Tastes Bad
Solution: Vagina Mints
If your partner is reluctant to give you oral sex, it's not because of pervasive cultural belief that cunnilingus is complicated to the point of being impossible and that vaginas are inherently icky it's because your vagina tastes bad. Enter the Linger Internal Vaginal Flavoring, or Altoids for your vagina. Linger assumes you already feel bad about your nether regions, stating on its Web site that the mint-flavored pill "decreases self-consciousness" and tosses out the unattributed statistic that 72 percent of women feel self conscious about their taste and odor. Dubious marketing practices aside, the Linger mint isn't just a harmless, if asinine, oddity. Mother Jones magazine did some digging into the origins of Linger and discovered that the vagina mint is no different from a regular mint. In other words, it's made out of sugar. And putting sugar-based mint directly into your vagina is a recipe for a mint-flavored yeast infection.
Problem: Your Vagina Is the Wrong Color
Solution: Vaginal Bleaching and Dying
Many women are under the impression that it's OK to have a vagina colored vagina. They're wrong, of course. They should be pink, and exceptionally so. What's a woman with a vagina colored vagina to do? Bleach it. Accomoclitic Laser and Wax Studio in Lakewood, Colorado, purveyors of an anal bleaching product called "Pink Wink," also sell something called Bleach Babe, a cream that promises to do away with the "natural discoloration surrounding the exterior of the vagina." Bleach Babe contains Kojic acid, the same ingredient that keeps salmon meat pink. South Beach Solutions sells a similar lightening product with Sodium hydroxide, which can also be found in drain decloggers and septic tank cleansers.
If bleaching fails to render your vagina the color of a Barbie Dream House, you can try My New Pink Button, billed as a "Genital Cosmetic Colorant that restores the "Pink" back to woman's genitals." Because vaginas that aren't vibrantly pink are old and sad. My New Pink Button is meant to be painted onto the vagina (it comes in powder form and must be scooped up with a moist Q-tip like device) and lasts 48 to 72 hours. After which, one supposes, users must reapply in order to maintain the youthful status of their genitals.
Problem: Your Vagina Is Too Loose
Solution: Vaginal Rejuvenation
Let's face it. Nature really screwed up when it made the vagina. Never mind that that it accommodates the birth of a child or that it's fundamentally better designed than male genitalia. (Who wants to carry their most sensitive reproductive organs on the outside?) While nature was busy dishing out things like multiple orgasms, it forgot to make vaginas vice-tight. Luckily, plastic surgeons have stepped in to put an end to womankind's collective suffering.
Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation is a trademarked phrase that refers to a practice developed and popularized by Dr. David Matlock, who's made several appearances on the E! channel's plastic surgery reality show, Dr.90210. Matlock and other doctors who carry out LVR claim that the $4,000 to $20,000 procedure makes women's vaginas tighter, thus increasing sexual pleasure.
But many doctors disagree. The American Urogynocology Society won't endorse it. And the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists cautioned in a 2007 statement that women seeking "designer vaginas" should be "informed about the lack of data supporting the efficacy of these procedures and their potential complications, including infection, altered sensation, dyspareunia, adhesions, and scarring." Sexy!
motherjones.com/riff/2010/02/6-weirdest-things-women-do-their-vaginas
Active Ink Slinger
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all the advice posted is just visual or you are going into the porn business.
You got it exactly right Tager
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