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Erotica writers have no self-respect?

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First Person Smartass
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----- Original Message -----
“How do you deal with someone saying that erotica writers have no self-respect?”
-- Fellow Erotica Author
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay kids... Rolling up sleeves... It goes like this. You get in their face and say:
"Yeah, I write SMUT and I'm crying all the way to the BANK, you B*TCH!"

Repeat as many times as necessary.

Why do people say this crap to us?
There’s a couple’a reasons…

1) It’s all about THEM.
Ordinary people rarely think outside their own heads. They measure everyone else against their own perceptions.

“Well I hated that movie, so no one else will like it either."
"Don’t drink that! That brand of soda sucks, you won’t like it.”

It’s called Tunnel Vision or Narrow-mindedness. If they can’t do it, or they don’t like it, you shouldn’t be able to do it, or like it either.

"Well if that was me I would never...!"

Yeah well, you AREN'T THEM which is why you Do, and you Have, and you are getting CASH (or at least a lot of attention) for it while they are not.

Unlike the average human, the writer is a unique creature. We can get out of our own heads long enough to view a perspective Other than Our Own. In fact, in order to write successfully, we are forced to view MANY different perspectives, frequently opposing and usually simultaneously. Consider how many characters are in the average novel with ONE author to think for them all.

As a writer, USE that unique talent to step out of your feelings of rejection and get into Their head. As a writer, you have the ability to look at the character traits they are displaying and interpret pretty darn accurately what’s really going on in their twisted little reality tunnels.

2) Petty jealousy.
Ever spend time with someone who just bought a new car? Without fail, someone just has to come along and tell them what's Wrong with that make or model. This person will list fault after fault until the new owner is deflated enough to salve the bruised ego of the person who Didn’t have a new car.

The technical term is: SPOILSPORT.

Believe me, these nasty buggers are everywhere -- especially if you're Good.

3) “That's not real writing. Anyone can write a smut story…”
Oh yeah? Let’s see them TRY it! The results ought to be hysterical, and really, really bad.

Writing Fiction is freaking hard work. It takes anywhere from weeks, to months, to years of hunching over a keyboard word-crunching, plus research, plus plot-crafting, and character development, and dialogue, and sentence-structure, and manuscript formatting, and fighting with the computer…etc.

"I can write, I have a college degree to prove it."

They do? Oh, that's too bad -- for them.

College degrees won’t help anyone write good Fiction of any kind, never mind smut. (Unless of course, their degree is in something useful, like history or mythology.) Fiction writing is a CRAFT that takes unique skills that you just can’t get in the classroom.

Formal Education teaches you to stuff as many words into a paragraph as possible. Preferably using the biggest words available, (with extra points for obscurity.)

Fiction Writing is the total reverse. You want the most amount of information using the least amount of words. Think ‘Advertising Copy’ and you have a clue. And that’s just the Grammar.

Imagination is the real sticking point.

Even if you have perfect grammar skills, you STILL have to have an imagination beyond: “Hey I had one hell of a night with this kinky so-and-so I picked up!” Boooooooooring!

Writing good Erotic Fiction takes skills the average Literary author would cringe at. Let’s see one of THEM write a sex scene that holds the reader’s attention long enough to Really Satisfy and without repeating the word penis or vagina 5 million times, (personally, I’ve never used either word,) AND give it a Happy Ending.

So yeah, let’s just see them Try to copy your accomplishment. You’ll laugh for weeks!

4) Ordinary embarrassment.
Most people are raised to believe that Sex is bad, so anyone who actually Likes sex is a deviant.

Yeah, and us deviant's are Popular with the opposite sex too!

In Conclusion...
So what do we, as Purveyors of Fine Smut, do about this kind of “No self-respect” crap?

We DON’T take comments like that personally. Those comments aren’t meant for US, they are meant for the Speaker that opened their mouth, and drooled that filth out of it. Those words are a reflection of THEIR personal hang-ups – not yours. YOU are making friends with fellow writers, making the occasional buck or two, and generally having a good time making your readers squeal with delight, among other bodily functions.

So, some prissy-fingered prudes are have a problem with you writing smut?

So what? No matter the reason, it’s Not Your Problem – it’s THEIR’S. When someone opens their big fat slobbering gob, just smile and consider the source, because it really IS all about them.

Morgan Hawke
-- Smut-Writer and Damned Proud of it!
Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
Morgan Hawke's DarkErotica ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein
Active Ink Slinger
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Erotica writers have a lot of self-respect. We're sex therapists in a way, only getting highly paid for sharing our knowledge after doing a lot of research and crafting a finely-tuned story that becomes a novel. I stopped paying attention to what anyone said and thought about my chosen profession and decided to live life to the fullest. Even if I fall down and break a leg, I get back up and do it again with more gusto. Thanks a lot for your tips, Morgan!

www.szadvntures.com

Latest story:

  • TBD

  • Bump in the Night-Microfiction

  • Smoke Break-Interracial

Active Ink Slinger
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Morgan... you self loathing, low self esteem, puny minded, unoriginal, second rate author of second rate material!! How dare you question the status quo and the things that "They" say. You must have had a terrible childhood, raised by hippie wolves to write about the things you do. Anyone who writes about erotica has some serious mental issues! Didn't you get the memo?

I'm far from a writer or an author. I have a few stories on Lush but it doesn't qualify me as anything other than some guy putting a some words together. I play golf too. But just because I chase a little while ball all over a pasture doesn't qualify me as a golfer either. However, I know good writing when I read it. Including erotica. And I don't only judge erotica by how it scores on the erection meter... which is big and clunky and kinda embarrassing to carry around. Screw the high and mighty that say that crap. It's only jealousy. Prudes are often the ones that have the most "perverted" desires in their head, but they're just to afraid to give it a try.

You should keep a couple butt plugs handy. When some other moron says something like this to you, hand him/her the buttplug and say something like... "Shove it up your ass"... or something else entirely more creative. Afterall, you are a smut writer!



When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
First Person Smartass
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Quote by LadySharon
Erotica writers have a lot of self-respect. We're sex therapists in a way...

We most definitely are! I can't tell you how many letters I've gotten from wives who tried a few of the techniques mentioned in my stories with their husbands and were ecstatic about the results.

Quote by LadySharon
I stopped paying attention to what anyone said and thought about my chosen profession and decided to live life to the fullest. Even if I fall down and break a leg, I get back up and do it again with more gusto.

You go girl!

Quote by LadySharon
Thanks a lot for your tips, Morgan!

You're very welcome, Lady Sharon.
Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
Morgan Hawke's DarkErotica ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein
First Person Smartass
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Quote by lafayettemister
Morgan... you self loathing, low self esteem, puny minded, unoriginal, second rate author of second rate material!! How dare you question the status quo and the things that "They" say. You must have had a terrible childhood, raised by hippie wolves to write about the things you do. Anyone who writes about erotica has some serious mental issues! Didn't you get the memo?

ROFLMAO!

Quote by lafayettemister
...Screw the high and mighty that say that crap. It's only jealousy. Prudes are often the ones that have the most "perverted" desires in their head, but they're just to afraid to give it a try.

Abso-flogging-lutely!

Quote by lafayettemister
You should keep a couple butt plugs handy. When some other moron says something like this to you, hand him/her the buttplug and say something like... "Shove it up your ass"... or something else entirely more creative. After all, you are a smut writer!

Few people have the courage to approach me directly to my face about what I write. Hate-mail however... But then, that's what the DELETE button is for!
Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
Morgan Hawke's DarkErotica ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein
Matriarch
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What a horrible post title. Caught my attention!

@ lafayettemister
First Person Smartass
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Quote by nicola
What a horrible post title. Caught my attention!


I'm evil. smile
-- This is actually a surprisingly common accusation, especially among those of us that actually use our Names on our work.
Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
Morgan Hawke's DarkErotica ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein
Advanced Wordsmith
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GAWD that stuff drives me nuts. >.< Sex is an enormous part of the human condition, and acting like we shouldn't write about it is absurd. Especially when most of the people who spout all that crap have no problem at all with violence.

Case in point: I was 16 when Titanic came out, and a lot of parents were horrified about us going to see it because of the TEH BEWBAGE and the OMG BACKSEAT SCENE. No one batted an eye about Rose's fiance' smacking her across the face, a guy bouncing off the ship's prop, or, you know, dozens of people freezing to death in the Atlantic.

And don't even get me started on people who think smut is "well, it's okay, I guess", but are horrified -- HORRIFIED I SAY! -- about gay erotica. Nothing entertains me more than looking them right in the eye and asking, "Oh really? And just WHAT is wrong with two men having consensual, passionate sex?" Usually makes them stammer and stutter a bit...hehehe

Anyway.

/rant over

Great post, Morgan, as always.
Lori
L. A. Witt (gay male erotic romance)
Lauren Gallagher (heterosexual erotic romance)
Twitter: GallagherWitt
My Website * My Blog * Marginally Unhinged (my webcomic)

"Service with a Smirk, that's you." - Morgan Hawke
God Empress of Lush
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Well, speaking as pretty much a beginner at this, I'm not ashamed of what I write. In fact, I'm proud of it. I try my best to write my stories as well as I can, and I can't do more than that.

And get this - some of the stories I've read here are far better written (in terms of vocabulary, pacing of story, characterisation etc) than some popular fiction I've read - you listening, Dan Brown???

22 February 2024 - How about a quick plug for one of my filthiest recent stories? It's all in the title - Naked Pool Party Swingers | Lush Stories Please read, comment and maybe give it a ❤️ - or even a⭐ if you really enjoy it! Thank you! Annie xxx

Lurker
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I have stock in ''Lava Soap'' so my aim, my objective with everyone of my stories is to make the reader feel so dirty and nasty when they are finished reading that they need a bath. I wish I could make them dirtier but present circumstances prevent that.

S
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
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So, what you're saying is...if I write an erotic story in the evening, I won't respect myself in the morning?

That's alright, I'll just sleep 'till afternoon...

Btw...I happen to think self-respect is way over-rated anyway...just saying...

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
First Person Smartass
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Quote by GallagherWitt
GAWD that stuff drives me nuts. >.< Sex is an enormous part of the human condition, and acting like we shouldn't write about it is absurd. Especially when most of the people who spout all that crap have no problem at all with violence. ... And don't even get me started on people who think smut is "well, it's okay, I guess", but are horrified -- HORRIFIED I SAY! -- about gay erotica. ... Great post, Morgan, as always.


Why is it that murder is just fine, in music, on TV, in the movies... while making love is not?
-- That's what I'd like to know.
Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
Morgan Hawke's DarkErotica ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein
First Person Smartass
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Quote by GallagherWitt
GAWD that stuff drives me nuts. >.< Sex is an enormous part of the human condition, and acting like we shouldn't write about it is absurd. Especially when most of the people who spout all that crap have no problem at all with violence. ... And don't even get me started on people who think smut is "well, it's okay, I guess", but are horrified -- HORRIFIED I SAY! -- about gay erotica. ... Great post, Morgan, as always.


Why is it that murder is just fine, in music, on TV, in the movies... while making love is not?
-- That's what I'd like to know.
Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
Morgan Hawke's DarkErotica ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein
Active Ink Slinger
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I haven't written anything yet, but, I can't imagine my self-respect disappearing out the window as I type a story. Total BS espoused in the statement
quoted
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by DirtyMartini
So, what you're saying is...if I write an erotic story in the evening, I won't respect myself in the morning?

That's alright, I'll just sleep 'till afternoon...

Btw...I happen to think self-respect is way over-rated anyway...just saying...



Hey,,, Dirty,, I resemble that remark
Advanced Wordsmith
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Quote by MorganHawke
Quote by GallagherWitt
GAWD that stuff drives me nuts. >.< Sex is an enormous part of the human condition, and acting like we shouldn't write about it is absurd. Especially when most of the people who spout all that crap have no problem at all with violence. ... And don't even get me started on people who think smut is "well, it's okay, I guess", but are horrified -- HORRIFIED I SAY! -- about gay erotica. ... Great post, Morgan, as always.


Why is it that murder is just fine, in music, on TV, in the movies... while making love is not?
-- That's what I'd like to know.


No shit. I often tell the story of a woman I know who took her six year-old to see Hostel. Yes, HOSTEL. Everyone knows that film is torture porn, but she didn't realize the first part of the movie is pretty much soft core porn. And she walked out of the theatre.

I said, "Wait...you took your SIX YEAR OLD to see Hostel, and the SEX was the deal-breaker?"

I could live to be 300 years old, and I will never, ever understand why graphic violence is okay, but sex is horrifying.
Lori
L. A. Witt (gay male erotic romance)
Lauren Gallagher (heterosexual erotic romance)
Twitter: GallagherWitt
My Website * My Blog * Marginally Unhinged (my webcomic)

"Service with a Smirk, that's you." - Morgan Hawke
Story Verifier
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We, as writers are not afraid of what is in our minds.. it's liberating... it's brave.. to delve in.. and even braver and even more liberating.. to take what's there.. and create something we call writing.. The small minded that aren't really among us.. merely alongside us.. can screw themselves and wank over the Sharon Stone clip for eternity...
A Professional Writer is an amateur who didn't quit"
First Person Smartass
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Quote by smiler77
...The small minded that aren't really among us merely alongside us, can screw themselves and wank over the Sharon Stone clip for eternity.


ROFLMAO! I like you!
Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
Morgan Hawke's DarkErotica ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein
Matriarch
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Quote by MorganHawke
ROFLMAO! I like you!


You should read her stories, you'd like her even more. She's evil at scrabble too.
Matriarch
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You're being sarcastic I take it?!!

Give her a challenge, you can play on Facebook. I know who my money will be on.

Apologies Nat if you didn't want your prowess known!
Active Ink Slinger
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America is still a country founded by Puritans. There was a good story in Salon today about a recent Supreme Court decision which would allow almost any amount of violence in video games, but still restrict any nudity severely. Judge Stevens in his dissent said something like: A game is o.k. for kids under 17 if you hit the hooker and then chop her head off, but if she's topless all of a sudden it's rated?

Exceptional American sex hangup.
An old favorite story of mine: The Chaise Lounge
Advanced Wordsmith
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Quote by CharlotteRusse1
America is still a country founded by Puritans. There was a good story in Salon today about a recent Supreme Court decision which would allow almost any amount of violence in video games, but still restrict any nudity severely. Judge Stevens in his dissent said something like: A game is o.k. for kids under 17 if you hit the hooker and then chop her head off, but if she's topless all of a sudden it's rated?

Exceptional American sex hangup.


God, this is so true. I know people who let their kids play Grand Theft Auto...until they found out there's a bonus where you can obtain a silver vibrator.

Yes. A vibrator.

Grand Theft Auto...and a VIBRATOR was the deal-breaker.

>.<
Lori
L. A. Witt (gay male erotic romance)
Lauren Gallagher (heterosexual erotic romance)
Twitter: GallagherWitt
My Website * My Blog * Marginally Unhinged (my webcomic)

"Service with a Smirk, that's you." - Morgan Hawke
Lurker
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Quote by CharlotteRusse1
America is still a country founded by Puritans. There was a good story in Salon today about a recent Supreme Court decision which would allow almost any amount of violence in video games, but still restrict any nudity severely. Judge Stevens in his dissent said something like: A game is o.k. for kids under 17 if you hit the hooker and then chop her head off, but if she's topless all of a sudden it's rated?

Exceptional American sex hangup.


True thing, my earliest memories of sexual arousal (without quite knowing that that is what it was at the time) was going to vampire movies as a kid. I mean, I was really young, no where near an age to say masturbate. Something about ethereal looking chicks wandering around in flimsy nighties having their necks ravaged did it for me.

There was a spate of vampire movies hitting the theatres then, I guess mid sixties.

Then, a few years ago, I saw a fascinating documentary that explained the full story. As nudity and sex crept into movies, the (can't remember exact organisation) Catholic League of US (?) began to pressure Hollywood to eliminate it. They were a very powerful lobby group and could have effectively shut Hollywood down. So there is a period of mainstream movies that is very devoid of nudism or eroticism.

Certain people in Hollywood began to recognise the erotic potential of vampire fantasy, and quite deliberately started to exploit that as a way of sneaking eroticism back into movies. In fact, look at some of those movies now and it is hardly even subtle. I now understand what that awakening was in me as an 8 year old kid.

So I think that, for the popular masses, anything is OK disguised right. So long as the turn on doesn't confronts realities, like how much time we really do spend thinking about how fuckable the nextdoor neighbour is, or how much we'd like to bend our partner over the kitchen table and whip their ass... we're OK. Since our communities aren't full of women wandering around in flimsy nighties in the moonlight, that stuff's palatable. But if 90% of people fantasise about threesomes and you start presenting them with that reality, they might start really giving threesomes a go, and then where would we be?

If any of that made sense.
Lurker
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And on top of all the above, so many of the people that make up the rules, think it's fine for them to break them left, right and center, and rob the tax payer all day long.

I thought my ex was a ghoul for liking all the hospital dramas where so many people got the stuffing knocked out of them, and she thought I was a perv if i watched a drama like Spartacus, blood and sand, because of the sex in it!

There's nowt so strange as folk!
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by DirtyMartini
So, what you're saying is...if I write an erotic story in the evening, I won't respect myself in the morning?

That's alright, I'll just sleep 'till afternoon...

Btw...I happen to think self-respect is way over-rated anyway...just saying...


I never respect myself in the morning. That way I don't have to worry about the things I do the rest of the day making me lose respect for myself.
"Happiness is doing it rotten your own way."Isaac Asimov (1994)
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
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Quote by standingbear


I never respect myself in the morning. That way I don't have to worry about the things I do the rest of the day making me lose respect for myself.


I can appreciate your philosophy Mr. Bear...it's like I always set my goals for the day rather low so that they are consistently achievable...

Things like getting up in the morning and getting coffee...I can usually handle that...

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by CharlotteRusse1
America is still a country founded by Puritans.


Wait till you get to Eatern Europe and Southern Spain. By day they're all so repressed that by by night they go up the wall and get to do the craziest things imaginable but it's all hush hush and God forbid anyone should ever catch you talk about missionary sex, not even going near putting ink and paper together and write about it. That's social suicide.

I'm no erotica writter. Not even close. But when I finally scrounged up the courage to post a story here I felt liberated. Didn't cross my mind for one second I'd be giving up my self-respect or any some such non-sense. I actually say it was therapeutical; I'm shy and not very comfortable with where my own mind takes me yet but it helped so I'm thinking there's nothing wrong with it.

As for the real writters (and the not so real) I only have two words: Thank you. =d&gt;