I almost made that same mistake a few weeks ago by hooking up with an ex, only to find out that he wanted me back. DD has a point, though. If you want a fuck buddy, let it be somebody that you know you won.t get emotionally attached to.
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If you have feelings for him but he doesn't reciprocate, then stay away. You can only get hurt.
I have met up with an ex for sex, but when I did, my feelings for him were already gone. So it really was just sex. And to be honest, it was okay but it wasn't that great because I enjoy the chase and the lead-up and you don't really get that when you fuck an ex. Personally, I'd rather find a new man-toy.
well first time posting on this forum... and this i just have to say instead of sitting by reading topics.. dont continue the whole fuck buddy/sleeping with thing, im not sayign this out of personal experience cause i never had any opportunity at all but from how friends i have seen been with their exs they stayed with in that way, its pretty much a one sided feeling one just wants sex the other goes to for sex but hopes for more, and it doesnt work out as you guys already tried the whole "dating" many times over from you saying you guys were off and on(and in and out of relationship) if i got the context right, you guys just arent good for each other and for you, you might want more then just sex hence still having feelings.. its easier to do what dancing_doll said find a different person for sex as you wont lead yourself to another emotional hurt from the constant on and off datin, i see many people i know go through just cause it starts up again from just fuck buddies
oh if you happend to make what isaid out of this good if not im sorry i do have bad grammer and tried my best to make it understanding
I'm hoping that now my wife is considering swinging again that we can find some new erotic fuckbuddies!
I think I'm going to agree with Dancing Doll
Sleeping with your ex- is emotionally risky, at best
Most of my fuck buddies were long time friends who had formed a deep bond of trust. We were both married, and getting together to share pleasures neither of us could get at home.
It carries risks of its own, but it's much better than fucking some guy you just met in a bar
Personnally I think was you have been there you should not go back
My ex-hubby, who, whilst we were married basically abandoned me sexually for far too long and ended up being a BIG reason why I ended it after more than 16 years together, started the same shenanigans until I realized he was trying to get back together with me. Sometimes the idea of hooking up with an ex seems tempting because it's something you're familiar with BUT when you have a history with them, it's VERY difficult to keep your emotions out of it. What ends up happening more often then not, is a never-ending merry-go-round of of emotions and issues that brought you together but ultimately also tore you apart. Just plain messy if all you want is a fuck buddy. Personally, I'd stay clear of your ex and look for a 'fresh' partner to have a NSA 'relationship' otherwise, I suggest you get your communication on and have that talk with your ex ASAP and see if you can't get on the same page. Good luck!
It is very difficult to offer an informed response with one side of the story, however, I read your OP twice, and on both occasions I thought that perhaps your Ex may actually wish to have a relationship (rather than just sex) I of course do not know this, my advise would be to talk to him and see if you can get some kind of resolution to his and your feelings in relation to your relationship. I hope this doesn't seem too simplistic but talking is the key here, at least then you will have some facts hopefully rather than assumptions and guesswork. Go do the talking thing...as BDJ said, get your Communication on.
Frankly, I think the real answer has to be that it all depends and whatever you decide it's likely to be complicated.
I only slept once with my ex-wife after our divorce - she came to visit me at an overseas job site and I put here up in the huge house that came with the job. It was unclear to me why she was visiting, while it had been as close to a friendly divorce as I think you can get (no kids, preunups, or support demands) - the wound was still raw. Which may have been her reason for visiting because no sooner had she dropped her luggage in the guest room, she appeared in the doorway to my bedroom starkers. Today I wonder what it must have taken her to risk this - at the time I only marveled at her nerve - and the fact that she still looked pretty good and I remembered how good the sex could be. However, what happened was a lot closer to forcible sex than we'd ever had before as I took her offering pretty roughly, minimal to no foreplay and little attention to whether she was enjoying it. Put simply and crudely, I fucked her and that was all it was.
Curiously, the only fuckbuddy I ever had was her best friend - and we linked up after I got back from this same overseas job. We lived in the same small complex and were almost literally on call for each other - only a phone call away and almost always said yes. The sex was great, but there was almost no emotional content and it ended for me when she wouldn't commit to something more and for her when my ex-wife began asking about whether or not the two of us were an item.
So that's why I say it's likely to be complicated and your mileage will vary.
Best of luck what ever you do!
