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tells on if she is interested without looking foolish Options · View
Posted: Wednesday, November 28, 2012 1:15:37 AM

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Joined: 9/18/2012
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Location: United States
we are a married loyal, adventurous and trusting couple with 1 close female friend. we are taking her out for drinks this Weekend we have been talking about asking her to join us in bed, and through playful talk, that she is into us. Question is......... any good advice on how to go about handling this touchy situation, in case we read her wrong, by making it look like we were joking.............without losing a friend?
Posted: Wednesday, November 28, 2012 5:21:13 AM

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Joined: 6/8/2010
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Location: United Kingdom
Assuming she's at least on the surface fairly vanilla, do it when you're husband isn't around - otherwise it'll seem like you're both pressuring her. Have a girly chat and steer the conversation towards unfulfilled sexual fantasies. When she asks what yours is explain it to her - then gauge her reaction. You could tell her that you would like to experience a threesome - but let her ask most of the questions about the details (eg mmf/mff) - otherwise it will look too set up. The key is to intrigue her to know more. If she's interested in any way she'll ask you plenty of questions.

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Posted: Wednesday, November 28, 2012 7:35:43 AM

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Joined: 2/17/2010
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I've been in the position of your friend on multiple occasions. I seem to be the 'go-to' girl to proposition for stuff like this. lol

Here's how I see it:

- Have drinks. If you're not dead sober you can always blame it on being too drunk or too high. This is where the "wow, I don't know what I was saying. That was a crazy night," conversation can go the next morning if she turns you down.

- The suggestion should be made very light-heartedly at first. Watch her social cues. Does she seem flirty back, intrigued? Or is she more of the "haha, yeah right" variety and then looking away or changing the subject. Joke around at first and see what her reaction is to gage her real interest.

- The actual invitation should come from you - not your man. It was very uncomfortable (for me) when the male half of the couple was trying to hook things up because I didn't know if she was being pressured into it or what her real thoughts were on the situation since he always had the more dominant personality. Also men tend to have zero subtlety and don't read cues-of-interest as well as other women do, especially when in a non-sober state.

- Have you fooled around with your friend before (eg. at least to the level of drunk make-outs on occasion). If you don't know for sure she's bi or how kinky she is, you're kind of flying blind with asking for this. For her, flattering her friends or returning playful banter may just be very innocent on her part.

- Ask her if she's ever had a threeway in general, or start up a conversation about your 'wildest sexual exploits' and see if it comes up in conversation. This is a good intro that still keeps things on neutral ground. If you've never talked about sex in an open way when out for drinks with her, then I might question whether this is the right friend to ask (yet). And, if you don't think she's the kind of girl to be able to laugh things off if she declines a proposition, I think you need to feel her out more before asking.

- Don't be put off if the answer is 'no'. I don't really like mixing quality friendship with threesomes when it involves a serious boyfriend or husband. There's the risk for awkwardness, jealousies or friendship-breakdown if things don't go well and that might be a risk she's not willing to take. This has no bearing on how 'hot' she thinks you are or how much fun it might be. I've had 3 friends ask that are 'beyond hot' and I would have played if not for the concern about what it might do to the friendship if things went wrong.

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