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can't cum anymore....need help Options · View
Posted: Sunday, December 11, 2011 2:59:59 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 926,840
I'm in the 60+ category and usually have a very active sex life.. But in the past few months, I can't orgasm anymore.. Either with my boyfriend or lover or many new toys..Doesn't happen while masterbating, or from oral or from toys...I can't imagine going through the rest of my life with out cumming...Maybe i need a "bad boy" macho man... Help.....
Posted: Sunday, December 11, 2011 5:21:25 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 926,840
maybe you are trying too hard?
Posted: Sunday, December 11, 2011 7:00:29 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/27/2009
Posts: 133
Location: Ohio
Loss of sex drive and orgasm often accompany old age, but not necessarily so. I have a women friend whose sex drive died after menopause, which she hated. And very little research has been devoted to female sexual dysfunction, in part because it doesn't actually prevent sex like impotence does.

First thing is to worry about your own health with diet and exercise. Second, see your doctor. Viagra and its like can help women, or so I've heard. Third, try a vibrator, although you may already have one in your 'toys'.

Good luck, I hope you can fix this.
Posted: Sunday, December 18, 2011 12:10:57 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2011
Posts: 121
I suspect in your case that the issue might be more hormonal/physical than psychological. Clearly you have enjoyed a healthy sexual life with orgasms prior to this sudden decrease in libido. If you've been going through any major life events in the past few months that have caused periods of stress or grief, then I would be tempted to say that the decline in libido is being mostly affected by these things. It's extremely normal for us to lose our sex drives when we are not 'happy'. Depression, grief, stress, loss of a relationship and anxiety always take their toll on the body (at any age), even if they aren't outwardly affecting us to a noticeable degree.

If there haven't been any major changes in your life, then I suspect it might be hormonal because of your age. Hormone replacement therapy is one option, as is using extra lube or a medication to increase vaginal secretion. You can talk to your physician about these things because both will require prescriptions.

You could start exploring your sexuality using new things that could involve toys, porn, Lush stories, or becoming more socially active in meeting new people with new kinks. Sometimes we just get bored with our daily routine and shaking things up can stimulate our minds as well as our libidos. You might want to think of an adults-type vacation somewhere tropical or a sex-themed cruise to get the mojo going again.

You will find more information on the medical/hormone side of things that you can speak to your doctor about if you prefer. This is an excellent resource website that has lots of information on the reasons associated with loss of libido in post-menopausal women and all the options available to you to help treat this:

Posted: Saturday, December 24, 2011 3:54:54 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/5/2011
Posts: 9,096
Location: In a suspended state of permanent horniness, Unite
Is it just me or is everyone assuming that her inability to achieve an orgasm is the same as losing her sex drive??? Not the samething at all. DDD talk to your doctor. It may or may not be a physical thing. Sometimes I have that issue and I am in my early 40s. It is usually because my mind is elsewhere or something inane. It is frustrating as hell so I understand how you feel.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ~Swami X

Posted: Wednesday, February 29, 2012 9:18:36 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/9/2011
Posts: 286
Location: United States
If this keeps on definitely talk to a doctor. Sometimes it is hormonal and medication can help.

Writer of amateur erotica since 2011..See the latest at:

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