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Posted: Thursday, December 13, 2012 12:53:15 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 12/13/2012
Posts: 1

my girlfriend and i have been together for about 7 years and we totally trust each other and are very open sexually. But recently ive been having trouble with a fantasy of mine. i really want to see her have sex with one of my friends in a threesome i suppose, but id just as happily watch. i know this is quite a common fantasy but mine extends to wanting to lick another mans cum from her and get sloppy seconds, so i guess that is where it gets really weird. trouble is, how can i even approach discussing this with her? i really dont know what she will say or how she will react, i dont want to ruin our trust but i think it could really add to our otherwise dwindling sex life. what do you guys think? it's really been bothering me recently and i want to get it off my chest but i dont know how, i think just talking about it would be enough but i know if i leave it it will probs do more damage than me being totally honest with her.

thnx in advance.
Posted: Thursday, December 13, 2012 4:17:28 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 916,395
well after 7 years you should be able to talk to her about anything
Posted: Tuesday, August 13, 2013 5:40:40 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/13/2011
Posts: 1,520
Location: Canada
I agree with the guest above that after 7 years together, you should be able to talk to her about anything, most importantly about your sex life.

Regarding your comment that you think the only way you can add more excitement to your dwindling sex life is to go this route is very short sighted. Have you REALLY exhausted EVERYTHING? I can't imagine that you have.

There is no question that, although it may be somewhat of a common fantasy to most men, it may not go over very well with your woman. For me personally, I know if my man asked me such a thing, it wouldn't go very well. As open and liberal and sexual as I am, sharing or being shared is NOT something I want in MY relationship and I would hate to know my man would be perfectly fine with another man having me. But that's ME.

What happens if you ask her and she refuses? Will you be okay with it or will it be something that will eat away at you or even tear you apart anyway?

Unfortunately, I don't have any answers for you, just my own humble opinion. Who the hell knows, she might LOVE the idea and may even install a revolving door in your bedroom. How's that for excitement in the bedroom? 2407_group_hug

Posted: Sunday, August 18, 2013 7:49:38 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 8/25/2012
Posts: 7
The idea of unleashing your deepest desires to someone you have been close to over a long period of time; raises doubts about - would they embrace or would they be apprehensive to your fantasies.

Before expecting her to answer you in a simple yes or no, I believe you should introduce her to the idea. Use a third person example to see her response.

If I were you, (me and my partner being sapiosexuals) I would start off by mere facts. The reason why you would enjoy watching another man with your woman has a very strong linkage to your (or most men's) sexual instincts.

Studies state that men produce higher amount of testosterone when mastrubating to porn with two or more men with one woman; than when watching a man and woman having intercourse. Again, if I were you, I would share this with my partner and would establish a base to my fantasy. The whole while, I would strongly recommend - Do not expect her to agree or disagree. Just go with the flow.
Posted: Sunday, August 18, 2013 8:21:09 AM

Rank: Ping Kong

Joined: 7/4/2013
Posts: 4,862
Location: Basement
I'd wait mentioning this specific friend of yours untill you're sure she OK with the idea of another man.

But perhaps it's all been taken care off already, as the OP was from december 2012. In that case, let us know how it went.

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