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Posted: Tuesday, March 12, 2013 11:40:00 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/5/2013
Posts: 1,033
Location: United States
Don't know if this one's been posted, but here goes.

A couple, Jeff and Kelly, who've hit a rut in their sex life went to see a therapist to help revitalize their sex life. After their first situation, the therapist gives them homework:

"On your way home, stop by the grocery store and pick up a bunch of grapes and a half-dozen donuts. When you get a moment alone, remove your clothing and position yourselves across from one another. Jeff, you take the grapes and try to shoot one into your wife's vagina. When you get one in there, crawl over to her and take it out of her without using your hands. Then, Kelly, you take the donuts and try to get one around your husband's penis. When you get one on there, crawl over there and eat it off of there, without using your hands."

Jeff and Kelly followed their therapist's instructions and noticed a great improvement in their sex lives. It was such a great transformation that their other friends, Bill and Shari, noticed it as well. Bill and Shari, who had difficulties of their own, got the therapists' number from Jeff and Kelly and set up their own appointment. However, the therapist refused to help them. Bill and Shari begged him to help, and the therapist finally relented.

"Okay, on your way home, stop by the grocery store. Pick up a bunch of apples and a bag of Cheerios..."
Posted: Friday, May 24, 2013 2:13:46 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 917,419
the first couple are well matched but i think the second 2 have a problem lol
Posted: Friday, May 24, 2013 4:37:18 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 1,571
Location: United Kingdom
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem.

The doctor said "When you feel you are ready to ejaculate try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol.

All excited to try this suggestion he ran home to his wife. At home he foung his wife in bed naked and waiting. As the two began they found themselves in the 69 postion. The man moments later felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired off the starter pistol.

The next day the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked "How did it go?"

The man answered "Not that well. When i fired the pistol my wife shit in my face, bit my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
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