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Being openly homosexual... Options · View
Posted: Tuesday, February 26, 2013 9:38:22 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/8/2012
Posts: 37
Location: Canada
Hi everyone-
My gf and I live in a very small prairie town, and we often wonder out loud if it would be "easier" to be openly gay in a larger city than it is in a small town. In a couple towns in our area, we have heard of people basically being run out of town simply because of ppl not agreeing with them being gay.

What are your thoughts or experiences on this?


Posted: Wednesday, February 27, 2013 10:36:22 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/17/2012
Posts: 7,569
Not sure where you are in Canada but I've heard similar stories from Canadian gay and TG people I know on other boards. Certainly, you're more likely to find groups and churches that are friendly in a larger city (e.g. here in London, the UU fellowship and many of the United Churches do same-sex marriages and welcome gay and transgendered members whereas I hear that some small town United Churches are still resisting). I think it's just the concentration of people. You just don't stand out in a city of 300,000 where there could be 20 or 30 thousand gay, lesbian, and bisexual folks and that concentration makes it easier for the LGB community to find each other and find institutions that support them. That said, I've also heard some remarkable stories of tolerance and caring from small towns so it may also depend on where in the country you're located.

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Posted: Wednesday, March 13, 2013 7:51:43 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 2/11/2013
Posts: 43
Location: Ain\'t nobody got time for that! , Canada
I live in a pretty big city in Canada so i know that people just go about their business. The majority of the ones you pass in the street will most likely never see you again. My opinion is that people in larger cities will be more nonchalant about a same-sex couple, while in a small town people can be a bit more judgy. I really wonder where you heard those stories of people being run out though because it's something i haven't heard of. I always loved visiting my aunt who lives in small town because people are more relaxed. The traffic light would turn green and people tended idle more instead of honking when someone spent 2 secs to drive. Just my My 2 cents
Posted: Wednesday, March 13, 2013 8:06:42 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/11/2013
Posts: 482
Location: Marina del Rey, United States
Sad to see people still have that condemning attitude. Sounds too much like...
Posted: Wednesday, March 13, 2013 8:58:33 PM

Rank: Detention Seeker

Joined: 8/17/2010
Posts: 1,458
Location: Over your Knee Screaming and Kicking!, United King
Although I am Bi I'm open about my sexuality and have lived both in the City and small town. I have never had a problem just the odd snipe from people and they always get told to keep their opinions to themselfs.

Posted: Wednesday, March 13, 2013 10:05:21 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/8/2012
Posts: 37
Location: Canada
Thanks everyone, for sharing your experiences! I agree that things are much more relaxed in small towns, and that we definitely are more "visible" in small towns. The one guy who was run out of town was the school principal at a school I worked at. Excellent teacher, fabulous guy....but ppl in his town made life nasty for him. The staff at the school supported him wholeheartedly-a teacher or two who previously had negative feelings about homosexuals totally changed their attitude solely because of the fact that they had never known one personally before. The other dude was from a different small town, and I didn't know him personally so it is a bit more hearsay. Any way you slice it, however, is that it is a horrible thing when someone doesn't feel at home in their town.

My fiancée and I only came out a couple of years ago, and we have played it very low-key. As time goes on, we have been starting to feel a little more comfortable in our little town. We have made friends with another lesbian couple, which has made us feel much more comfortable with ourselves. (Sounds strange, but totally true). flower

Have a great day, everyone!

Posted: Wednesday, March 27, 2013 11:07:50 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 3/26/2013
Posts: 15
Location: New England, United States
Bear with me, I'm new to the forum, so I'm only just seeing this thread.

My wife and I live in a smallish city in a small, rural state. I came out later in life (30ish), had an established career and family, and a pretty solid reputation in the community. By and large, my coming out was greeted with a big HO-HUM. At the time, my son played hockey almost year round, and there were a group of hockey-moms who had serious issues with it, especially when my then gf (now wife) started going to games with me. They were too frigging cowardly to say anything to our face, but always made snide comments behind our backs, just loud enough for us to hear. We called them The Harpies. The year my son was a junior, he took it upon himself to silence The Harpies once and for all Sword Fight -- but that's another story.

For the most part though, it's never been a big deal. People are people, small town, big city. 90% want to do the right thing and be decent human beings.

If the weak hand, that has recorded this tale, has, by its scenes, beguiled the mourner of one hour of sorrow, or, by its moral, taught him to sustain it - the effort, however humble, has not been vain, nor is the writer unrewarded.
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