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Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 7:18:52 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 918,604
I wasn't sure where the correct place was for this question so forgive me if it shouldn't be here....

Another question on this forum prompted me to finally ask the question..... Could someone please explain to me what the attraction is, for them to want an interracial relationship? I thought people were attracted to people, not race or colour so it's not something i've ever understood.
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 7:56:01 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 24,689
Location: Over Jen's lap
oo oo! me first! ok, this isn't going to be the norm for answers, here, i think.


i grew up in a mixed neighborhood. from time to time, i get that urge, i'll go right out and say it, i want to be with a black man. part of it is nostalgia. i knew some beautiful black men when i was younger (i still do, btw, but i'm married and kind of more into girls these days) and they were good guys, fun, full of life, laughter, a little crazy, omg, beautiful too - just like some people prefer brunettes because of their darker look, or what have you, the physicality of skin so black it's almost blue is beautiful to me.

as far as getting into a relationship because of color, that's silly to me - like you said, i am attracted to people. i've been with a wide variety of different ethnicities and it's always because of who they were, not what they looked like, just like i wouldn't just date blondes - i might be attracted to certain people because of their looks, but there needs to be something beyond that to get into a relationship with them.

btw, i don't write in the interacial catagory, simply because it never really occurs to me - i will tag stories as interracial, but it's an afterthought - to me, they are men, or women, and the color is secondary. that said, i will find myself looking at pictures of hot, sexy, black men on the internet and drooling sometimes.

also, i am in an 'interracial relationship' with my wife, who has enough latina and filiipino blood to pass as a full blooded chica if she wished. :)

ps - Kate (my girl) adds that white girls turn HER on, cause we got cute little "wannabe" titties and asses. love7

Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 8:40:15 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/23/2011
Posts: 2,575
sprite wrote:
ps - Kate (my girl) adds that white girls turn HER on, cause we got cute little "wannabe" titties and asses. love7

I know this is in "Ask the Gals", but Sprite's response reminded me of a story from the pre-politically correct days.

Many years ago, when I was co-teaching a jazz inprovisation class at a college which shall remain nameless, we had a freshman girl approach us to ask if she could audition in to take the class as a singer. So we let her audition. She could not sing her way out of an open-ended paper bag, if you pointed her in the right direction. I mean she was just terrible. I was out sick for a week with the flu, and when I got back, BO and I were at the local watering hole, woprking on our second pitcher of beer, and kicking around what we were gonna do with the kids that semester, and he said, "Oh, by the way - remember that little girl who wanted to sing, who was so bad?"

"Oh, yeah, " I replied. "What are we gonna do about her?"

Bo said, "I told her we weren't working with any flat-ass white girls this semester."

I damn near had beer coming out of my nose.

Seriously though, whenever I see a story in which a major attraction is supposed to be skin color, I just get angry. I have been arrested, and know too many people who were beaten, because we were demonstrating for racial equality.

"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 9:51:16 PM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 7,577
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
As sprite said before me, I'm attracted to people and not just their race. Being biracial (half black, half white...please don't ask me which half) I get asked all the time: Are you more attracted to black guys, or white guys? My answer is always the same. I'm attracted to attractive people. My biological mother is white and my biological father is black, which is one of the many reasons she was forced (yes forced) to give me up. My adopted mother is black and my father is white. They wanted to adopt, I was ideal for obvious reasons. But I digress.

I think you've actually answered your own question. I think people who date interracially have already gotten past that barrier and just see the person they're with and/or embrace their differences. However, I will say that some people do have their personal preferences for certain races, and it usually has more now to do with preconceived notions and less to do with stereotypes. For example, I know black guys that will only date white women because they give less "attitude" than black women. But I always point out to them that the white women they seek out tend to to be meek, not because they're white, but because they sought out a meek woman that happened to be white...thus proving themselves right. I also know Indian guys who only date white women because it's a status symbol. It goes along with the "American dream". Job, house, car, white trophy wife. Again, my examples are just preconceived notions of people I know. For some, it is still a taboo. And that may hold an allure for them.

For me, being of distinctly mixed raced, to date interracially, I'd have to date someone that wasn't black or white, which I have many times. But I wouldn't date someone just because they were the same race as me...or date someone just because they weren't the same race as me.

Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 11:03:30 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 10/31/2011
Posts: 81
There were several reasons why i prefer interracial relationships.

One is you get to experience other foods you might not try if you weren't exposed to them. Second is you get to see how other cultures interact with their families. In other cultures it opened my mind to certain family decisions which i would follow over what is considered tradition in my own family. knowledge is good for growth.

When being in an interracial relationship they have certain values that i am looking for. it just so happens they are of a different race. Love doesn't see no color. for me it doesn't matter what race they are. if you love that person then you love that person.

Just let it go.
Posted: Thursday, January 17, 2013 7:50:08 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 918,604
Thanks for your replies folks, there are reasons you gave that I would never have thought of.. I thought the 'taboo' aspect might be one reason given, and a preference for a certain 'look' (not colour) but looking for certain values, dating white women for less 'attitude', status symbol....etc never occurred to me...
Posted: Thursday, January 17, 2013 8:05:19 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/19/2011
Posts: 737
Location: where bugs die
race has zero to do with sexual attraction

though living here in the south...sometimes it is looked at ..as...well...differently..

i dont care what color you are..if you treat me like a queen

you have no color..only love

Posted: Thursday, January 17, 2013 2:26:08 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 918,604
I'm mixed race.

Does this mean that when I masturbate I'm having an interracial relationship with myself?

Posted: Thursday, January 17, 2013 7:44:58 PM

Rank: The Linebacker

Joined: 3/2/2011
Posts: 12,658
Location: Atlanta
My wife and I both dated in interracial relationships when we were single. Variety is the spice of life. Enjoy and appreciate the nuances that make us different somehow. But the only real differences are cultural and that can be the same race in that regard.

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